Higher and Further

by Harriet Hairston

There are times when a marital relationship tends to plateau and–dare I say–get a little BORING. At the other end of the spectrum, there are also times when transitions are taking place, and the relationship can get downright scary, whether it’s a “midlife crisis” or a new career.

The importance of remaining focused on  your vision as an individual, couple and family is so important during these times. It’s also esssential to note that individual growth does not have to equate to growth apart.

Some changes are taking place within my family that are causing our relationship with one another to ebb and flow from one extreme (boredom) to the other (scary transitions). Here are a few ways that we remain connected as we go higher and further together than we’ve ever been:

• We understand that seasons come and go. When the good times are rolling, we enjoy them to the max. When things are tense, boring or down to business, we understand that the tough times won’t last always.
• We refuse to be afraid of success; therefore we ball till we fall on new projects. My career path is getting ready to drastically change, and Patrick is about to go back to school. Neither of us knows what it means to quit, so we’re going HARD until we fulfill our goals, no matter how long it takes.
• We maintain an attitude of gratitude. My dear, sweet husband washed, dried, folded and put away the laundry last week! Man, I can’t tell you what a monumental moment that was! I thanked him over and over again for that!
• On that note, we turn the seemingly mundane into monumental moments. It took some planning, but after the laundry miracle, I made an intimate meal for us and ensured dessert was poetry in motion. LOL
• We keep the honey in the moon always. You’d be amazed how one good roll in the hay can obliterate tension.
• We play back in our minds what made us fall in love with one another, and we ensure we tap into that need within one another. Patrick tells me that I made him feel like a giant, and that nothing was impossible for him, so when crises arise, I try to blow his head up like our tough times are nothing compared to the awesome power and wisdom that dwells within him. It’s not spurious…it’s the honest truth.

All in all, it takes work to make a marriage work. How do you maintain your connection so your relationship will go higher and further than ever before?

God bless!

~ Harriet

Harriet Hairston, a freelance writer, human resources administrator at an HBCU and creator of the motivational blog, “Can She SAY That?!?” has a unique style that brings readers into her life through her transparent demeanor. She lives in Louisiana with her husband and two sons.  You can reach her at harriet_hairston@yahoo.com.

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

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