Comments on: Strong, Black, Submissive?

By: Tiffany

Tiffany — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 16:40:10 +0000

I am starting to learn that submission is very important. I would get mad at my husband when it comes to decision making beause I would ask him something and give my opinion and ask him of his. He would never give an opinion, he would just agree with me. A few weeks ago when speaking about this, he said he does not give an opinion because everytime he gives an opinion I through it out the window and do what I want to do anyway. I did not realize that I did that…making me take a very hard look at myself. My husband is the head of this household and I should take his ideas and him more seriously, he has feelings just as I.

By: Whyte23

Whyte23 — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 23:20:34 +0000

“I” or ‘Me” thinking is what we as individuals bring to our relationship. It is our independent selfish way of thinking. We are not stating that it is a bad way of thinking, works ok for single life but can bring ‘issues’ to a two person relationship.

We transition from “I” to “We” by putting the needs of the relationship a head of our individual needs. Remember when the relationship wins you as an individual win. Think about the marriage first and surrendering will become easier.

Since men and women have different needs they surrender differently. Surrendering comes from the unconditional love of each partner.
Our values and our upbringing are ours and in most cases different from our partners this is the cause of many of the struggles in the relationship. Give the relationship a set of values and make the relationship a priority and surrendering will be come natural.

That you love your partner enough to yield your “I”ndividual desires for the “We” commitment. To yield means to give up control.
Surrender is a verb which means that an action must be taken by both partners.
To understand that Our marriage is bigger than our own individual thoughts, wishes and desires.

Because together “We” can achieve More of.
Our hopes
Our dreams
Our desires

WE can GROW twice as big together than we can grow alone.

Thank you for sharing….one love!

Whyte23

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Wed, 23 Sep 2009 04:08:29 +0000

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By: Happinessexpress

Happinessexpress — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 03:57:55 +0000

I love my husband very much. I have to admit that my husband does not submit but he does placate me alot. I try to return to the favor. LOL. I think I am a little more headstrong about things than he is. I love your article. My husband and I would make a compromise. Like recently we went kitchen table shopping. I did not like the one he picked out too much. However I got to decide if I wanted a low table that can seat eight, or a circle table that seats two or the square table that seats four. So we do (I, do) make a conscience effort to compromise with him. I agree with Tara. I would just paint the rooms varying with your ideas and your husbands. I would also paint right along with him.

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Sat, 19 Sep 2009 17:24:28 +0000

[...] Strong, Black, Submissive? | Black And Married With Kids [...]

By: simply beautiful

simply beautiful — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 20:26:27 +0000

Great article. Although I am not married but still single and praying, I found this article to be helpful. This article is so on point…when I do get married I’ll know how to act! LOL. Seriously though…married or unmarried there are still some things that we must submit to–like the law of the land, rules at work and at school, etc. I think that the reason we have such a hard time is because we look at it as someone’s ‘getting over on us’. In a healthy relationship, there is always give and take. If one is taking more than giving, then yes, it’s an issue that needs to be resolved with prayer and counseling. Yeah, there’s another article for you–what to do when your partner takes more than they give?
Anyway, I really appreciate the comments from Political Pete and Lady4Christ–right on the money! The word ‘submit’ has been given such a bad rep. I prefer not to candy coat it by calling it any other name–because it is what it is! Just do it! The Word of God admonishes us to do so!

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Thu, 17 Sep 2009 22:45:14 +0000

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By: Medina

Medina — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 11:40:01 +0000

Good Read… Keep them coming Aja!!! I’m truly learning from the article’s and the responses…

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Thu, 17 Sep 2009 03:51:05 +0000

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By: Political Pete

Political Pete — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 22:34:36 +0000

Man I’m trippin Lamar… how the heck did I miss the launch of Happily Ever After? lol. Ordering my copy today.

Okay, back to the topic…