What are your thoughts on this conversation? Are black men and women at war? What do you think is the root of the problem?
About the author
Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.
This is an interesting topic… Gonna have to explore this with the misses…
Jonesi
“Wanting to be married and ready to be married are two different things”. <—–DEEP!!!
But what about those individuals who never contemplated marriage and therefore never developed the mindset of “readiness”. I’ve never denied the fact that the concept of marriage was extremely terrifying…and a month before my wedding, I’m still a little shaken, but should that stop me? I don’t feel so. I once told someone who asked me, “Are you ready?” “No, but I don’t think I ever will be”. Marriage was not a goal I had for my life. But I do feel it was God’s plan and because I trust in Him and I love my fiance, I’m ok with it. We’ve completed pre-marital counseling through our church and I am fully aware and knowledgeable of the covenant of marriage. I know it won’t be a walk in the park – it has never been – but the added dimension of the commitment we are both willingly accepting makes the future our of union beyond worth it.
http://stuffgirlslike.wordpress.com speak
I wish we had this state of of the union address in England and it is good to see this sort of program. because black women in England need to talk to black men.
Does anyone remember Jungle Fever it had the same sort of discussion
http://stuffgirlslike.wordpress.com speak
were is my comment luv?
Anna
@ Jonesi, I love your comment. “Marriage was not a goal for me”. Marriage should not be on a “what to do list”. If you find the right person and it happens, it happens. I find myself so tired of “eager” ppl being engaged to 3 different ppl in the course of a 12 month calender. LOL. Marriage is not easy, but I am blessed enough to find it fun, entertaining and I like to share my thoughts and dreams with my hubby and hear about his. Honestly anyone can get married, staying married is the key. I did not watch the video but am fedding off of the comments.
“State of Black Relationships”
Any one can easily sabatage their own relationship. We do have to learn to get along and remain as understanding as we did in our “dating stage”. If your dating stage sucked, getting married is going to suck even more. Most want a “fairy tale” wedding day but forget that after the honeymoon, you are now married and have to get off your high and “manage your marriage”. Keep negativity out and positive in. A blended family back in the day meant you get new in-laws. Now it’s someone in the marriage already has kids. A marriage can be broken by simply forgetting that it is not all about “you”, but about “us”.
iamme73
The basic problem with discussions about the “state of black relationships” is that there doesn’t exist this monolithic black relationship.
So what you end up with are people taking their personal experiences, along with their families and friends personal experiences, and combine that with their personal biases, and this society’s general disdain towards black people, and they reach the same conclusion that is always reached in this country when discussing black people.
There is something wrong with us that has to be fixed.
People have to deal with the fact that they are not dating black men as a group or black women as a group. They are dating individuals. The individuals you date aren’t robots, they respond to you all’s individual relationship dynamic. That means that none of those men or women, although in that video it was mostly the men, can make broad statements about how the majority of black women or black men behave in a relationship.
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