Comments on: Punishment vs Incentives

By: Anna

Anna — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 00:48:35 +0000

@ Staycee2, “my daughter’s career entailed working as a public speaker for a Fortune 500 Company!”. Too funny but a great way to say your child talks too much. LOL. Allow your child to keep talking but in moderation. Oprah will retire one day and thus far no one could ever replace her.
@ Ronnie, I see nothing wrong with bribing a child, just don’t let them know that that’s what it is. Nothing wrong with rewarding a child for doing well. I like the idea of a movie vs cash. The movie may be just a movie but while having multiple kids, it’s also a “mommy and child” bonding moment. Kids love one on one time with their parents, it makes them feel special and builds not only self esteem but a sense of security.
I think it’s a gender thing. Little girls start taling in complete sentenences before a year and a half(and they never stop)it’s human nature. My son is almost 22 and still gives me one word answers. LOL.

By: Prodigy

Prodigy — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 22:08:59 +0000

When I was younger I was an overachiever myself academically but a social butterfly as well. I would talk whenever I could regardless of whether I was in class or not and I constantly got the note sent home to my parents. I do not currently have any children but speaking from my own experience I believe that it’s up to the parent to decide what they think the most effective form of punishment should be. Me, I used to get spankings/beatings/whoopings whatever you want to call them from the belt and the switch. I can say though that in my case that form of punishment worked really well and I turned out to be a very productive individual in society as well as well mannered etc etc. As a matter of fact it’s soo funny because from time-to-time my mom is approached by people who’s paths have crossed mines and they tell her how much of a gentleman I am and that she raised me right. I say all this to say that if part of raising me right was spanking/beating/whooping me then I am all for it and I appreciate it in hindsight.

By: Children's Aid NYC

Children's Aid NYC — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 20:53:38 +0000

Rewarding children for good behavior is a great approach. It certainly worked with you… Bravo!

Heather for Children’s Aid NYC

By: Ronnie

Ronnie — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 19:18:56 +0000

@Lady4Christ thanks for the encouragement. I know that too much punishment can impact the relationships with your kids. We also have a teenager and I am definitely learning from my mistakes with him.

@KingJames – I don’t know what’s going on at school..but all I know is she is not coming home with notes (knock on wood.) I think the teacher warns her several times throughout the day before she will actually write a note. So I am thinking that she might be getting a few warnings evey now and then…but then she thinks of her incentive and she buckles down.

By: King James

King James — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 17:13:14 +0000

so.. she didn’t talk?

or she didn’t talk at the wrong times..
how did it work.. how did she differentiate?

I dont’ know many young folks who can tell the difference at ALL times and who can remember all day.

either way.. happy for you! that movie was #1.. i may see it..

i’m sure there are plenty single baby mamas there

By: Lady4Christ

Lady4Christ — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 16:45:40 +0000

I was a talker when I was in school, I’m 26 and still a talker. I hated when I would get a beating or punished for talking, it wasn’t something I couldn’t control. Some children are just born with the gift of gab, I think parents should learn how to cultivate that gift and not try to extingush it. I agree that incentives seem to get way more results then punishment. They say you catch more flies with honey then with vinegar. Praise always gets a better response then put downs. There are many ways that you can reward your daughter without it costing you money, and don’t worry about feeling like you are bribing her, because at the end of the day we are all bribed somehow in someway. We go to work everyday, do our best and hope we will get a raise, a bonus or some type of a reward, that’s the life we live so you are just teaching her about life. I appauld you and hope you many more parental victories.

By: busybodyk

busybodyk — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 15:21:51 +0000

Your daughter reminds me of ME! LOL I always got letters from the teacher about talking. Sorry I don’t have any advice for you. I’ll just say that all I got were punishments and my mom always seemed mad at me which wasn’t good for our relationship.

By: Staycee2

Staycee2 — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 14:00:56 +0000

OMG!!! I thought I was the one writing this article. I went through the same thing with my 11 year old last year. I went as far spanking my child and even showed her what I purchased her for Valentine’s Day and gave it to her when she got things in order. The teacher told me that my daughter’s career entailed working as a public speaker for a Fortune 500 Company! She eventually got the talking down to a minimum. But looking back I felt like crap for spanking her & not giving her her Valentine’s Day gift on Valentine’s Day. My child is very bright and was just bored from waiting for the rest of the class to catch up to her level. She’s just bright as hell and is above level in all her classes. Therefore, I felt she wasn’t being fully challenged. I ended up sending extra for her to do, when she was done with her work instead of disrupting the class!