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Mama’s Wisdom

September 25, 2009 · View Comments

in Parenting

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By Harriet Hairston
Once upon a time, there was a little girl who made all her decisions based on how she felt.  She gave little to no regard to the long term consequences of her decisions, nor did she care how her actions hurt those around her.  In essence, she thought she was the center of the universe.

On the little girl’s eighth birthday, she received two presents that changed her life.  The first present was a Betamax videotape of Mr. T’s “Be Somebody or Be Somebody’s Fool.”  As she watched it, she learned how to pop, lock, break and stand on her own two feet as an individual.

The second present was intangible, but unlike the Betamax videotape, she was able to carry it with her for the rest of her life, and it never went out of style or became irrelevant.  She received some wisdom from her beloved Mama about how to maintain her integrity in her personal decision making processes.

Mama said, “Baby girl, never make a decision if ‘H.A.L.T.’ is in the way.”

Baby girl asked, “Mama, what’s ‘H.A.L.T?’”

Mama said, “Baby girl, to keep from being impulsive, impatient and potentially making a decision that’s going to affect you for the rest of your life, make sure none of these four things are affecting you.  If you’re H.ungry, A.ngry, L.onely or T.ired, you should pause to alleviate those issues prior to making any decision.  Happy birthday, baby girl!”

Those words totally revolutionized the way “Baby Girl” carried herself.  As she grew in stature, she grew in wisdom, all because of the H.A.L.T. principle her mother gave her for her 8th birthday.  It remains to be seen if she will live happily ever after, but she most certainly is enjoying the journey life has blessed her with.

– The end…of the beginning –

That’s my story, I’m sticking to it.  I can still pop and lock, but my anatomy no longer supports doing the worm.  Yet although break dancing may not be a staple of my life any longer, that H.A.L.T. principle will remain tried and true for me.  The only thing I can think to add to Mama’s Wisdom is another H.  Don’t ever make a decision when you’re Horny.  It is what it is.  :o )

What about you, BMWK?  What kind of wisdom was imparted from your loved ones as you were growing up that you’ve held fast to even today?

God bless!

~ Harriet

Harriet Hairston, a freelance writer, human resources administrator at an HBCU and creator of the motivational blog, “Can She SAY That?!?” has a unique style that brings readers into her life through her transparent demeanor. She lives in Louisiana with her husband and two sons.  You can reach her at harriet_hairston@yahoo.com.

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{ 10 comments }

Tara September 25, 2009 at 7:03 am

I remember you shared this on Faceook and it’s so true, especially the Anger part. It’s such a powerful state that it will overwhelm all your thoughts….

Ronnie September 25, 2009 at 11:02 am

Great Post Harriet!! And I agree with both you and Tara. When I think back,I can see how I should have used the the H.A.L.T principle on many occasions.

LA Momma of 2 September 25, 2009 at 11:08 am

I LOVE THAT!!! I just shared that with my 10 year, who, I might add, is in desperate need of this mindset.
Keep ‘em coming Harriet!!!

Cindy September 25, 2009 at 12:09 pm

I first heard of H.A.L.T. when I quit smoking nearly 10 years ago. Every time I wanted a cigarette, I could trace it to one of those, especially anger in those first few weeks! Recognizing the reason behind the desire to smoke was truly my key to success.

Harriet September 25, 2009 at 12:23 pm

Thanks for the props, everybody! My main issue is not making decisions when I’m tired. I used to have a temper, but it takes too much energy to throw an all out tantrum. LOL

@ Cindy, funny you should say that. My mom was a drug and alcohol rehabilitiation counselor for the Army. I’m sure that’s where her philosophy came from, and I’m soooooooooooo glad she shared it! It applies to everyone, not just addicts. I’m also glad it helped you quit your smoking habit. Congratulations!!!!!

maria September 25, 2009 at 1:15 pm

Hi my name is Maria and I live in England Iam actually black but with a british accent. I find your site so uplifting ad positive and doesnt feature negative things the media potrays of black people which they do here in the UK all the time, Single mother, poor and disfunctional. Please visit my blog on http://isatnat.blogspot.com/For some similar stories but with a british tinge to it.

Staycee2 September 25, 2009 at 2:54 pm

I never heard of H.A.L.T. until now and this post is ssssoo helpful. I’ve been practicing some of the those letters and feel like a work in progress, GREAT POST!!! Thanks Harriet..

@ Maria you are so right, that is the MAIN reason that I live for this website (doesn’t feature negative things)!!! Keep your head up out there girl;-)

Anna September 25, 2009 at 9:37 pm

This post “wowed me”. H.A.L.T. I never heard of it, but so understand it. This means, never make a quick decision that will compromise your tomorrow. My parents wisdom to us was to just be yourself. I will pass the “H A L T on. I like it.

Funkidivagirl September 27, 2009 at 6:24 pm

Great advice and I totally agree! Especially “tired” for me…..I have learned to take a nap or get a good night’s rest and I can think more clearly.

Danielle September 29, 2009 at 6:51 pm

I love it!!!! H.A.L.T. And I may need to borrow it when I’m working with some of my teenagers at school. Thanks.

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