Do You Know What Today Is?

by Aja Dorsey Jackson

Two years ago today my husband and I got married outside on what was probably the hottest October day in recent history. Before we got married I remember reading different articles about the secret to having a happy marriage. Two years and many articles later I’ve managed to put one thing on my list of secrets to a happy marriage.

1) There is no secret.

Don’t get me wrong. I am a strong advocate for getting as much useful guidance as possible when married. Sometimes though, I think that we can approach the road to a happy relationship like we are searching for a genie in a lamp. We want someone to give us a few simple steps that will unlock that secret door to a lifetime of happiness.

The truth is, searching for the secret to a happy marriage is a lot like searching for the secret to weight loss. Half of the time we already know what we need to but we decide not to do it and then spend more time looking for a quick fix than we could have spent not eating that second piece of chocolate cake or starting that unnecessary argument with our spouse.

The path to a happy marriage isn’t the same for everyone. Yes, I read books and articles that claim to know everything about men or women or relationships but they can’t have all of the answers because I know for certain that they don’t know me personally (if they did I would never again see anything about giving a woman candy because I hate candy, unless its Starburst) Information is there for guidance, but I have a hard time believing that I can learn more reading about men in a book than by talking to my own man, who is the only one that I really care about anyway.

So here’s my tip for today: Stop listening to me and my tips today and go enjoy your spouse in real life as I am about to go enjoy mine.

Aja Dorsey Jackson is a freelance writer and marketing consultant in Baltimore, Maryland. She is author of the blog babybumping@blogspot.com and can be reached at ajadorsey@hotmail.com.

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

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