Frustration

Hi Harriet:
Great post!! I coach football (Pop Warner). I had been an assistant coach for three years and finally this year I am the head coach. I have learned more about myself and how to deal with adversity in this one season than I have learned throughout most of my life. I have seen and now understand how I react to adversity and losing. Just as with any human being, I have had wins and losses in life, both big and small, but the funny thing is I have never had so many condensed into such a short time. It has allowed me to really see how I deal with life and frustration. When I lose, I become sullen, quiet, and even angry. I ignore my family because I am so into myself. My mind won’t stop trying to figure out what I did wrong, and what I can do not to lose the following week. I can’t sleep and will usually stay up all night for a couple of days in a row. In other words I am the poster child for FRUSTRATION! In analyzing how I am in this microcosm that is football, it has really opened my eyes as to how I deal with failure and frustration in everyday life, and thus has turned into a life lesson. I am an extremely organized person, and have every practice, pre-practice, pre-game, post game etc. planned and timed so that there is no question as to what anyone is to do at any given time, and in my mind organization equals success. Well have I learned quite a lesson about that!!! LOL!! Just because I am organized doesn’t mean I will succeed. Just because I try my best and plan as much and as hard as I can, still doesn’t mean I will succeed. It really hit home for me when I listened to what I was saying to my players about giving their all. After a practice I was feeling as if my players weren’t giving all they could. I and my staff had told them that as of that point, that we would vow to give them 100%,our best effort, however the boys had to do the same for us. We are a family and that’s what families do; it’s a pact that we live by every day. We must support each other and give each other our all while we lift each other up. Then one of my smaller kids said: “but coach we’ve lost two games in a row!!” ……… That’s when it really hit me, and I had to come up with something quick……. I told them yes we lost, but asked him did we give all we could to succeed in that game? Keeping in mind that the past 2 games were very difficult games and the boys really played as hard as they could. The little boy said yes, and I said, then we are a family and we didn’t lose at being a family, we just didn’t win those particular games, and that it’s those battles that pull us closer together. After that, one of the grandmothers of the kids pulled me aside (I don’t think she was drunk..LOL), and told me that she is proud to have her grandson play for me, and he is lucky to have such a great coach!! I don’t say these things to say I am a great coach because I am plainly not, but I say it because I taught the kids and myself a lesson and didn’t even realize it. That is the great thing about having a family, and I think of family as a series of circles: the first being me in Gods family with Jesus, my wife and our kids in another , then my extended family, my church family and of course my football family in yet another circle. With all those circles working hard, giving their all to each other, the circles remain whether we are winning, losing, succeeding, or failing! The lesson for me is that losing, failure and mistakes are going to happen, it’s just life. Most importantly, failure doesn’t mean that you didn’t do your best, nor does it mean that your best wasn’t good enough. How can your best be anything BUT good enough? Furthermore, it’s who your best is good enough for that really matters. My team lost, but I gave my best to them and to them and that is important. They did their best for me as well and that is MOST important, no matter what the result. I know now that me giving my best truly is good enough for God and my family no matter what the result. That was the biggest life lesson I have learned this season. Once I gave in to that then…came peace, and fire in my effort to give my best no matter what the result is. Thanks for the post Ms. Harriet in the short time I have been reading this site, I have come to really value your insight and writing ability.

Dee is not a freelance writer, he is just a guy who had some time to kill. He has not written anything you have ever read. You can’t read more of his blogs by going to http://www.deeaintgotnowebsite.com

I know I am one that has PSS. Am I afraid of failure or afraid of success? I will answer my own quesion and say that I am afraid of being out of my “comfort zone”. My little sis has always said that I am a great sales person/people person and I could sell birth conrol to “Mother Teresa” or sell a man his own dirty boxers back. LOL. I am not really fustrated at myself but more disappointed that something in me is keeping me back and making excuses. I know it has to do with having a “cushy” job and not wanting to branch out on my own. I will remain relaxed and paitent and wait on my calling. I don’t want to contiune doing what everyone says I am good at. I want a whole new career but will have to take a big pay cut, plus get a new degree to “just do it”. With two kids in college and another starting in January can I afford for me to go back to school?
“Kids First, mommy second”.
Dee I enjoyed your comment. I was not going to leave a comment until I read yours.

Harriet,

I love the check list. Especially be patient and wait on it. That’s the challenge for me. But I’m working on it. Great post.