My Wife Is NOT My Friend (On Facebook)

On the Web

by Eric Payne | on October 21st, 2009 | 185 comments

by Eric Payne

On Facebook, my wife is NOT my friend. I un-friended her about two months ago. Not only did I not tell her what I did, but once she discovered we were no longer connected, I ignored her request to become my friend once more. Like her, I sure many of you are SMH, or rather shaking your heads, thinking, How trifling is he? My wife’s chief complaint was that she was my wife, how dare I not be her friend. Her being my wife is the very reason why I cut our virtual ties.

As the Internet landscape continues to be overrun with social networking platforms, Facebook, in this writer’s opinion, is unique in that it allows unrestricted access to your life. This can all be managed by adjusting your security settings and not going overboard with the comments, photos or anything else you choose to post, but for those people who are your friends, there are no areas of your virtual profile that are off limits.

I primarily use Facebook to promote my writing. But when I first signed up for the site I used it to communicate with people I currently interact with in my life as an alternative to making phone calls. Then somehow people from college found me, then high school, then grade school. Then I got caught up with SuperPoke, YoutTube videos and everything else that makes it one of the largest distractions in existence. My wife joined the network about six months after I did and at first it was cute. We’d trade sweet nothings, verbal love taps and harmless snaps (something we’re known for) in our statuses. All of this occurred under the same roof and sometimes at the same time — she on the desktop computer in our dining room and me on my laptop.

It quickly stopped being cute for me once people, a.k.a. “friends,” started adding their two cents via the comments. It let me know that my Internet pillow-talk with the wife wasn’t pillow talk at all. It was broadcast news coming straight out of our home. Making matters worse, my wife hacked into my account more than once to change my statuses to proclamations such as, “I’m going to be nicer to my wife,” or “I definitely need to start recognizing what a great woman I have.” Practical jokes, of course, which might have been funny had they only been between she and I and not people I once sat across from in second grade.

If these incidents weren’t enough, we actually had some very strong disagreements over the tone of each other’s statuses on days when we weren’t getting along. Things really got ugly when I questioned the motivation behind certain comments from men I didn’t know on her photos or on her. As a man and a husband I believed I was within my rights to be protective of my wife. As a man, my wife thought I was being overprotective and making mountains out of molehills over friends from grade school and high school.

If you’re not yet tired from reading this, this writer was definitely tired from living it. Finally, it came to me late one night that there is too much out there pulling at the hearts and minds of married couples, mine included, to allow to the unexpected nuances of Facebook interactions to be added to the pile. Right then and there, I knew what I had to do. I went to my wife’s profile and clicked, “Remove From Friends” without hesitation. My wife initially thought I was punishing her when in fact I was protecting us, in this instance, from me. Now my wife and I exist as friends in the world that truly matters: The real one.

Do you “Facebook” with the one you love? If so, has social networking affected your relationship positively or negatively?

Eric Payne lives with his wife and two children and tackles married life and fatherhood as it happens to him at MakesMeWannaHoller.com. He also writing can also be found at NYMetropolista.com and MochaManual.com. His short fiction has appeared in Spindle Magazine and DiddleDog Magazine.

About the author

Named a Top 50 Dad Blogger in 2011 by Cision Media, Eric writes about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between at Makes Me Wanna Holler – Man, Dad, Husband.

B.M.

WOW! I WAS SO PREEPARED TO BE JUDGEMENTAL BEING A WOMAN MYSELF, I WAS THINKING HE MUST HAVE SOMETHING TO HIDE UNTIL I READ THE WHOLE ARTICLE; AND CONSIDERING THE CIRCUMSTANCES WHY HE CHOSE TO DELETE HIS WIFE, I BELIEVE HE MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE.
http://www.onlyoneheaven.com Heavenwbc

Ive been on FB since 2004. My husband has never even had the desire to open an acct. I know why… and he is smart for not opening one… i know there would be some silly heffas that would write stupid stuff that would piss me off and he avoids the drama like the plague! But if he WAS on FB, then we would have to be friends… something about not being friends on FB would make me feel there are secrets and thats not cool with me… at all…
Divadan80

I am a wife, and I did the same thing he did, I unfriended my husband b.c facebook was becoming another thing for us to argue about, every now and then he does request my friendship, I won’t accept it then he gets mad, but it will be ok. I felt like my husband was stalking my page, hanging on to every status, every new “male” friend, every comment others would make, and he would try to join every group I joined and like every page I like, not anymore
Yolacole

Thought this was interesting…don’t judge before u read the complete article
Guest

This seems so bizzare to me that a husband and wife can’t be friends on FB! First of all FB is not the place to post intimate details about your marriage. My husband a.nd I are friends and we’ve never had any issues There must be more to this story.
classylady83

This is why I’m in favor of JOINT pages for married couples.

Araq

Make it inclusive include the family
especially if the children are younger and you want to monitor their online activity

Rugged1529

First of all, Your suppose to be your wife’s best friend first. if that’s in place and we are not getting along, I won’t post ANYTHING that is remotely related to my relationship for the world to see and my wife to analyze while she is going through her emotions response of whatever we’re going through.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=565186358 Denitria Lewis

I find it interesting that it’s mostly women commenting and saying that a man has something to hide if he doesn’t want to be friends with his wife/gf/etc on fb. I’m here to say as a woman, I personally do not make it an issue or point to be friends with men that i’m interested in or involved with intimately online because there are a lot of lookie loos… myself included. I don’t want my own imagination and/or insecurity to be the cause for an argument or random discussion about something digital. I work in social media, but I don’t need it to be a barometer of my IRL relationship with someone. I’m private to begin with, so this whole “proclaiming” love and not hiding anything on fb is ridiculous. if someone wants to hide something it will take more than a social media website to do it.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=565186358 Denitria Lewis

I find it interesting that it’s mostly women commenting and saying that a man has something to hide if he doesn’t want to be friends with his wife/gf/etc on fb. I’m here to say as a woman, I personally do not make it an issue or point to be friends with men that i’m interested in or involved with intimately online because there are a lot of lookie loos… myself included. I don’t want my own imagination and/or insecurity to be the cause for an argument or random discussion about something digital. I work in social media, but I don’t need it to be a barometer of my IRL relationship with someone. I’m private to begin with, so this whole “proclaiming” love and not hiding anything on fb is ridiculous. if someone wants to hide something it will take more than a social media website to do it.
J McCarthy

test
http://thereallifeadvice.com/ JM

I honestly can’t see why this is even up for debate other than the fact people want all the benefits of being married but want to act like they are single. The intention and purpose of marriage is so distorted these days that the concept of union and being one is foreign. Let’s just put it where it is. If you doing what you supposed to be doing (meaning honoring and respecting your partner) then you have no problem with him/her being on your page. And if we want to keep it all the way funky, while you are coming up with excuses to why she/he can’t be on your page, attempting to justify it and mask it with work when it is really centered around wanting attention from the opposite sex, trust that your spouse sees your true motives (even if they don’t say anything) and most likely is doing the same. People get so caught up in doing dirt and satisfying their own selfish desires that they never suspect their partner is doing the same thing. We (black men) are good at it because our women treat us well, support us and rarely emasculate us. Most of us are strong, very prideful, and feel like we “putting it down.” What we fail to realize is “putting it down” is not strictly physical when it comes to a female and her needs. When you don’t include your spouse in what you do, you creating dissension in your marriage and are leaving a door open for someone else to “put it down” on her mentally and do things you wouldn’t think your woman is capable of.
http://thereallifeadvice.com/ JM

I honestly can’t see why this is even up for debate other than the fact people want all the benefits of being married but want to act like they are single. The intention and purpose of marriage is so distorted these days that the concept of union and being one is foreign. Let’s just put it where it is. If you doing what you supposed to be doing (meaning honoring and respecting your partner) then you have no problem with him/her being on your page. And if we want to keep it all the way funky, while you are coming up with excuses to why she/he can’t be on your page, attempting to justify it and mask it with work when it is really centered around wanting attention from the opposite sex, trust that your spouse sees your true motives (even if they don’t say anything) and most likely is doing the same. People get so caught up in doing dirt and satisfying their own selfish desires that they never suspect their partner is doing the same thing. We (black men) are good at it because our women treat us well, support us and rarely emasculate us. Most of us are strong, very prideful, and feel like we “putting it down.” What we fail to realize is “putting it down” is not strictly physical when it comes to a female and her needs. When you don’t include your spouse in what you do, you creating dissension in your marriage and are leaving a door open for someone else to “put it down” on her mentally and do things you wouldn’t think your woman is capable of.
tickedoff

I honestly can’t see why this is even up for debate other than the fact people want all the benefits of being married but want to act like they are single. The intention and purpose of marriage is so distorted these days that the concept of union and being one is foreign. Let’s just put it where it is. If you doing what you supposed to be doing (meaning honoring and respecting your partner) then you have no problem with him/her being on your page.
exactly. my wife took me off her page, because I was finding out a lot of things she’d rather I didn’t know.
Social Media Queen

It sounds nice, but on the other hand it sounds really sneaky. Ya’ll both need to grow up and understand that while ya’ll are “friends” on Facebook everything is out in the open and while you can feel free to question other “Friends” intentions from grade school ya’ll are married and should remain that way with trust. You can’t control what someone else is going to say, so your solution is to delete your WIFE as a friend? Why not remove the people form your friend list that are causing problems? SMH
Deesmith1983

I agree with not being friends with my husband on FB….he was on FB longer than i was, and when i got on a year ago, it was all love…in the beginning. Now, all we seem to talk about is FB and who’s posting what, and what eachother just posted, or who are you talking about, or are you calling me out, or talking about me. We don’t talk about dinner or the kids games or there schooling, it was arguments about FB for about 6 months. Then i come to realize, it’s because we used FB to communicate outside of the normal, instead of just texting and picking up the phone to talk to each other, it was Tag this, and go read this…and check out my pic. I felt the social networking thing was really bugging in our relationship. We argued about who eachother were adding as friends and everything. Then i realized, i didn’t care to see what he had going on, on his page. He was really mad when i deleted him, and then he starting hacking into my page and deleting people from my friends list, and post and comments by my friends…practically taking over my page. I knew then, that i had to delete my page or block him as a friend. He didn’t want me to get off FB becuase then it would look to people as if we were having problems, but we were, about FB. So i deleted him as a friend and Block him, changed my security settings and passwords, so he couldn’t access my page, as i didn’t afford the option to access his…ever! Its better now, becuase we have other things to talk about now…other than FB. it was something that had to be done to save our relationship in our marriage.
Deesmith1983

I agree with not being friends with my husband on FB….he was on FB longer than i was, and when i got on a year ago, it was all love…in the beginning. Now, all we seem to talk about is FB and who’s posting what, and what eachother just posted, or who are you talking about, or are you calling me out, or talking about me. We don’t talk about dinner or the kids games or there schooling, it was arguments about FB for about 6 months. Then i come to realize, it’s because we used FB to communicate outside of the normal, instead of just texting and picking up the phone to talk to each other, it was Tag this, and go read this…and check out my pic. I felt the social networking thing was really bugging in our relationship. We argued about who eachother were adding as friends and everything. Then i realized, i didn’t care to see what he had going on, on his page. He was really mad when i deleted him, and then he starting hacking into my page and deleting people from my friends list, and post and comments by my friends…practically taking over my page. I knew then, that i had to delete my page or block him as a friend. He didn’t want me to get off FB becuase then it would look to people as if we were having problems, but we were, about FB. So i deleted him as a friend and Block him, changed my security settings and passwords, so he couldn’t access my page, as i didn’t afford the option to access his…ever! Its better now, becuase we have other things to talk about now…other than FB. it was something that had to be done to save our relationship in our marriage.
Espnandme

I agree 100 percent I refuse to have my current girlfriend as a friend on fb . In previous relationships my g.f would be a friend on fb and I would hae to unfriend because a commment or something she didnt like on my page . Real relationships are hard enough I dont need a virtual one to cause conflict. My current girlfriend and I may have our issues but its never about something on fb.

Wth

The blog is called black and “MARRIED” with kids. The post was called my “WIFE” is not my friend on fb. No disrespect, but why are you even posting on this forum? A girlfriend and a wife are two completely different things. That’s the problem with society today – people can’t separate the two.

Karyl

My husband is not on Facebook but if he was we would be FB friends. It seems to me that the issues of a wife logging in as her husband and posting comments was more of the issue than simply being FB friends. If you have love, trust and mutual respect you can have that in any world – including the virtual one.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000058762365 Shuern Richardson

I realy do not understand why someone cannot be friends with their spouse on fb. If you are married and you are not doing anything that you shouldn’t be doing, there shouldn’t be an issue. I think LadyDi said it best when she stated that the moment somebody gets out of line, you quickly get them straight and ultimately delete them if they do not stop their behavior. Nobody can come in and break up your relationship unless you allow them to do so. I think it is fine for spouses to flirt on their pages and say loving things to each other-just don’t get too personal or put your business out there. I would have an issue if my spouse didn’t friend me because it would make me think he was trying to hide something and I am a believer in giving men their space.
Sindee

This is so childish. There’s a big
problem if these two haven’t even enough respect for each other to
refrain from posting comments or info that the other person wouldn’t want posted.
If there’s something either one or both of them don’t want people to know
or comment about, simply agree to not post it. Simple as that. And what’s up with the hacking mess? If this guy’s wife is
hacking his Fb account, she can just as easily do so without his
“friendship.” Instead of choosing to sit down with his wife and share
his feelings and see if they could work through their virtual problems,
he decides on his own to defriend her. This speaks volumes about their
marriage. If he isn’t willing to talk through “Facebook disagreements,”
surely he’ll display this same unwillingness in other areas. Oh, and
for crying out loud, photo comments from men? Is this dude for real?
He has a fit about photo comments made to his wife from other men and calls
it being protective? Unless the comments include threats or what can be
reasonably perceived as threats, it’s called jealousy, bruh (which is
natural & wouldn’t strike me as being immature if it wasn’t for the
ridiculous fact that you actually included this bs in your list of
reasons for defriending your wife). To add, if you honestly felt you
were being protective, defriending your wife would never have entered
your mind.

?”Now my wife and I exist
as friends in the world that truly matters: The real one.” –If you
can’t exist as friends in what you consider to be an unreal world, you
don’t stand a chance with reality.P.S. Yes, my Husband and I engage in Facebooking together. And no, we’ve not had any negative experiences resulting from it.
Nocooper1973

I had an issue with my wife behind fb…when she first got on, I requested her and she ignored me. I was like wow…then as time went on, I looked at her page and it was largely her gf’s on her page so I thought it was her way of having space. I saw a few males, but they were family members and people who were like family, so I let it go. I’m 38 as of a few days ago. I’ve known my wife for 25 plus years. I looked at her page today and there are six or seven dudes that I know are not related and I know a few of them from high school. I got a little upset because my wife is real private and her page is set so people cannot friend her, etc., so if someone is on her page, she went and found them. My wife has NEVEr mentioned any of the dudes on her page ever, so this is a strange and new development to me. The issue I have is my wif
e is always on her phone from fb and has been acting slightly secretive lately and is very attentive to her phone. She takes a million years to respond when I text her and she is not with me, yet she is always responding to others when I am around. It would not have been no big thing had she said, hey babe, guess who I bumped into blah, blah, blah…my issue is she doesnt talk a whole bunch to me, so anything she is giving away to another man makes me feel very uncomfortable to say the least. So, I decided to say something about it to her. I wasn’t loud, rude or mean. I just said that I saw a bunch of new males friends on her page and light weight inquired about them. She tried to tell me most of them knew her mom and were like cousin’s, etc. nice try, her mother died when she was 12 and if they were like cousins, why had I never heard of any of them? She and I got 20 years in. She then went into i’m tripping and making issues up, etc., never really addressing why i’m not her friend on fb and why she never mentioned catching up with them in casual conversation with me…when I pressed the issue she blew up and said I didnt trust her and a bunch of other mess and said we should just divorce and be rid of each other…all I could say was wow…I am not the super jealous type, but im far from naive and I think its okay for a man or woman to ask their mate questions if something doesnt look or feel right…at the end of the day, I felt disrespected and like she was trying to make a fool out of me…If you are not keeping steady conversation with me, i’ll be damned if you are going to be keeping it with another man…
MississippiCurl

My husband and I are “befriended” on FB, and we give each other the virtual space that we enjoy in our real lives. Every now and then I may leave an “Can’t wait to see you!” on his wall, but it doesn’t go much further than that…and if I need to take it there, a text or a personal call will be in order! lol. I really don’t even look at his page, nor do I believe that he monitors mine. Statements I make to friends online is nothing I wouldn’t say in front of him – unlike a lot of people, I do not feel that sense of “anonymous power” behind a computer screen. It’s still all out there for public viewing, and I would never want to embarass or disrespect my family. I have actually had a couple of former ”friends” try to get a little too personal on FB and I quickly shut. that. down. They know they wouldn’t have come at me like that in person, so there was no sense behind bringing that in a chat. They were unceremoniously unfriended. I love my husband and I will not lose him over some foolishness!
Blessanna

I’m friends with my husband but we do not use FB to communicate with each other. Actually, I tried to tell FB we were married but he rejected the relationship saying he didn’t want his students to find him through me. So not to draw others to him I rarely leave him comments. Also I rarely email him and we never text each other.
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http://www.facebook.com/kendra.pricemays Kendra Price-Mays

Unbelievable!!! Someone who actually agrees with me!!! Approximately, two months ago, I unfriended my husband. The comments left on our pages were getting out of control. I didn’t inform him prior to deleting him, but when he discvered it, he was upset with me! I explained I was doing this to better our marriage. With time, he has learned to embrace it! Facebook is NOT designed to bring out the best in marriage!
Draelee

oh goodness my wife is addicted to FB lol. many times i have closed my account because of questionable posts my wife will put up after we had argued earlier. now whether or not the hidden innuendos are indeed about me or not is irrelevant. just the fact i assumed they were was enough to start the questioning process which led to more arguing. Now I don’t even get on it. I can go weeks and never be on the account. I had often wondered about just unfriendling her for this very reason, but I felt like that would have brought up an argument of something as well. I can definitely relate to this article. Good job.
Kelly B

I can actually agree with this, My husband has a friend on facebook he has had an affair with, they are still friends in real life but not on facebook, and she decides to become friends with his daughter, i actually deactivated my facebook because i got tired of her putting comments on her page and even got into an argument with her on facebook. i blocked her but she still sent me a message telling me to stop looking at her page, and i was looking at her comments on my husbands page. II am tired of all of the drama really and really ready to end it, he chooses to still talk to her and be friends with her and feel its okay for her to contact his daughter. i am glad i dont have my facebook anymore, i started a new one so i can get inspirationals only no friends no mess
its all about me thanks for letting me share
http://www.21stcollegian.com Rishona Campbell

This is sort of weird. I am friends with my BF on Facebook, and its not a problem at all. If he or I post something that’s a problem (or a potential problem), we talk it over, and then it gets deleted. No need to get jealous over things happening online if you can talk in person!
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Alinki

A similar thing happened in my case. My wife made uncomplimetary comments about how I put stuff on my profile page, meant for my ‘friends’ because I’ve been very selective over who sees what. Nothing about us, or our kids… mainly updates on stuff high school and college friends know of already. I knew my ‘audience’ better, and so knew why I put what I put there. I expected her to recognize and respect that, but she felt it shouldn’t be so, and said it in a manner I found annoying, so I unfriended her, and it’s been bliss since. Married people still have a life, no?
Joanndith

What about just sharing one account?
Dfdwife39

My husband recently deleted me from FB because I would question some of his comments to other females. He even sent a comment via private message to a friend of mine who he was friends with on FB. He has done some questionable stuff in the past so I don’t trust him. He rarely talks to me but has chatted with people on FB. I’m tired of being ignored by my husband and half of the time would find out stuff about him via FB!! Sad, isn’t it? So here it is I’m deleted. I thought it was disrespectful and further put me into an insecure/non-trusting spiral because of the questionable AND wrongdoings (that he has apologized for). What was his respongse???—You can have your friends tell you what I am doing if you don’t trust me (which is his fault that I don’t trust him.)

I told my friends and family to delete him too. How can you be friends with my family and friends but not your own wife??? It caused a HUGE argument and I still can’t seem to let it go. YES, it goes further than him deleting me and we are going to counseling. I can go both ways with this issue. I do understand if you are constantly being questioned and are tired of it BUT if you caused that insecurity with your spouse, why would you make it worse by deleting them? He hurt me when he did this. Many of my married/older friends tell me not to let FB come between us but I feel like he chose his friends over me. Since then he has sent me a friend request to “re-friend” him but I have ignored it. You deleted me…then keep it that way.
Meka1002

Yes I’m glad you wrote this. My fiance and I aren’t friends on Facebook at first I didn’t like the Idea but as time went on I see it was the best for us if wanted our relationship to last. So for our relationship I think it’s the best.
guest

I am friends with my husband on fb and we don’t have a problem with any of the stuff that is mentioned in the above topic. Even though I fully understand what the writer is saying and totally agree, I don’t get involved with drama on fb and keep it strickly for keeping in touch with people I haven’t since or talked to in years. I mostly play the fb games, although I must admit, if I could get these softwares without being on fb I wouldn’t be up there.
http://twitter.com/Ink_Tyt_Designs byron rouse

good article… being an under 30 husband/father I kinda grew up in the era of social networking, and have seen very ugly situations over face book statuses. My wife has un-friended me, with and without, me knowing when at least 3 times. I have to add that i also don’t take FB, or the rest, as serious as she does usually. Like you used to do, we send messages, while sitting across the room and even side by side, and will even engage our friends, as the add things like “#grabbingpopcornandsoda for the show”. We find it funny that people find us so entertaining. As long as you both understand the other persons intentions then there should be no problem. … the moral of this story you must have THAT type of relationship with your partner, or you need to build that type relationship. #jmo
Eugenia

Why not just get off Facebook if its that deep? This couple seemed to have some kind of communication issues that went deeper than FB. I personally keep it light and friendly ppl say way too much on a social networking site. Stuff I wouldn’t tell ppl in real life, why would I tell them on FB. People are having boundary issues with this stuff, if you wouldn’t put it on a billboards don’t put it on FB.
Mzdija7480

This gives me something to think about!!
DeeSmithSF

My fiance closed his fb account b/c I questioned him about his interactions with other women. He also has questioned me about why I have so many friends. We didn’t interact as much on FB other than private messages. I see two sides to this story. FB can cause trouble in ur relationship, but I don’t think “pillow talk” or sweet nothings should be on the wall. .. unless ur inviting comments from others. . . I send my sweet messages privately or when we’re in our quality time.
Tatendapatiencemlambo

I was friends with my boyfriend until i found out he was flirting on Facebook to the extent that he wld make appointments with the women and meet them. i cldnt stand seeing him commenting on other women telling them how beautiful they were and yet never comment on my pictures so, i just unfriended him to save myself the pain!!!!
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=563312047 Carlene Wright

Very good article. Now I see a little more clearly. My husband refuses to get on FB and I was furious. But now I see it from another point of view and I’m glad you wrote on this.
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mzthang

Me and my hubby are fb friends and my friends know to be respectful when commenting on anything on my page
Anonymous

I think it’s Ridiculous when a Social Network becomes More Important than Your Spouse.When You care more about your online aquaintances and Impressing those Online Aquaintatances than your own husband/wife… you got problems..Facebook is a Monster Marriage Destroyer.It gives your spouse the excuse to SHOP AROUND for INFIDELITY.And although it may seem harmless..Viewing Profiles of countless Provocative (at times) Men/Women…. you’re playing with fire.My advice to any married Couple,,have The Same Friends..Make a mutual understanding..and don’t try to have secret profiles..If you argue over this Monster Marriage Destroyer..Get Rid Of It….Don’t put Temptation in front of your eyes..There are plenty of ways to keep in touch with Childhood Friend such as Emails!!And If you really like Facebook..maybe keep it ALL FAMILY and Mutual Married Close Friends You BOTH have .
Drybye5

You have got it all wrong. Although you are an elegant writiing, and being a master of such you can very easily sway the masses into believeing your rationale as correct, I beg to differ, it is wong. Absolutely wrong. I’ve been with my wife for 25 years married for 23, it’s not perfect but for what ever reason we are together. If you can friend ex boyfriends, and girlfriends (depending on your gender), then the most important person to you (your spouse) has got to be “Friended”also. No question about it. To me it’s simple, if you have nothing to hide, then they (your spouse) should be friended. There’s alot I could easily say regarding this subject, but suffice it to say that after all this time with my spouse we may be headed towards divorce as a result of her not friending me. Her teenage Bo hasn’t let the past go, and it seems neither has she, so with that said, not friending your spouse is a red flag.
Bernard

Drybye5 I know how you feel. I agree with you. I thought I was the only one in that situation. My wife’s high school boyfriend has been trying since 2005 (and he’s married). I know she has to be friends with him on facebook. She’s friends with our children but won’t let me friend her. I’m sure divorce is the near future. 20 years wasted.
Jazzandtray

My husband and I have been Facebook friends for almost 3 years now and have never had an issue with any of that. We don’t don’t comment on each other’s statuses very often or send love taps. We use it to help each other level up in all the games we play and to keep in contact with each when either one of us is on the road. We don’t give a hoot about what our ‘friends’ say about us, unless they’re inviting us out to dinner!! Anybody outside of US that dared to comment negatively on any of our posts to or about each other would be quickly ‘un-friended’!!
http://twitter.com/EDUCATIONCEO TheParentsEducator

But I really don’t ‘get’ how Facebook adds strain to a relationship. Seriously, if you’re married then you should not be worried about other people’s comments-they obviously were intentionally being messy to see what would happen and they pretty much won, sadly.

My Wife Is NOT My Friend (On Facebook)

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