My Wife Is NOT My Friend (On Facebook)

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by Eric Payne | on October 21st, 2009 | 185 comments

by Eric Payne

On Facebook, my wife is NOT my friend. I un-friended her about two months ago. Not only did I not tell her what I did, but once she discovered we were no longer connected, I ignored her request to become my friend once more. Like her, I sure many of you are SMH, or rather shaking your heads, thinking, How trifling is he? My wife’s chief complaint was that she was my wife, how dare I not be her friend. Her being my wife is the very reason why I cut our virtual ties.

As the Internet landscape continues to be overrun with social networking platforms, Facebook, in this writer’s opinion, is unique in that it allows unrestricted access to your life. This can all be managed by adjusting your security settings and not going overboard with the comments, photos or anything else you choose to post, but for those people who are your friends, there are no areas of your virtual profile that are off limits.

I primarily use Facebook to promote my writing. But when I first signed up for the site I used it to communicate with people I currently interact with in my life as an alternative to making phone calls. Then somehow people from college found me, then high school, then grade school. Then I got caught up with SuperPoke, YoutTube videos and everything else that makes it one of the largest distractions in existence. My wife joined the network about six months after I did and at first it was cute. We’d trade sweet nothings, verbal love taps and harmless snaps (something we’re known for) in our statuses. All of this occurred under the same roof and sometimes at the same time — she on the desktop computer in our dining room and me on my laptop.

It quickly stopped being cute for me once people, a.k.a. “friends,” started adding their two cents via the comments. It let me know that my Internet pillow-talk with the wife wasn’t pillow talk at all. It was broadcast news coming straight out of our home. Making matters worse, my wife hacked into my account more than once to change my statuses to proclamations such as, “I’m going to be nicer to my wife,” or “I definitely need to start recognizing what a great woman I have.” Practical jokes, of course, which might have been funny had they only been between she and I and not people I once sat across from in second grade.

If these incidents weren’t enough, we actually had some very strong disagreements over the tone of each other’s statuses on days when we weren’t getting along. Things really got ugly when I questioned the motivation behind certain comments from men I didn’t know on her photos or on her. As a man and a husband I believed I was within my rights to be protective of my wife. As a man, my wife thought I was being overprotective and making mountains out of molehills over friends from grade school and high school.

If you’re not yet tired from reading this, this writer was definitely tired from living it. Finally, it came to me late one night that there is too much out there pulling at the hearts and minds of married couples, mine included, to allow to the unexpected nuances of Facebook interactions to be added to the pile. Right then and there, I knew what I had to do. I went to my wife’s profile and clicked, “Remove From Friends” without hesitation. My wife initially thought I was punishing her when in fact I was protecting us, in this instance, from me. Now my wife and I exist as friends in the world that truly matters: The real one.

Do you “Facebook” with the one you love? If so, has social networking affected your relationship positively or negatively?

Eric Payne lives with his wife and two children and tackles married life and fatherhood as it happens to him at MakesMeWannaHoller.com. He also writing can also be found at NYMetropolista.com and MochaManual.com. His short fiction has appeared in Spindle Magazine and DiddleDog Magazine.

About the author

Named a Top 50 Dad Blogger in 2011 by Cision Media, Eric writes about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between at Makes Me Wanna Holler – Man, Dad, Husband.

cj bazemore

grow up my dude you should think more of your wife people on fb can be nuts you en y0ur wife are one third party sould not matter married for 17 years
alice

im not married but i and my fiance are friends on facebook
before we normalli have series of quarell on line but we decided to stay off each oda’s wall cos he is so far away he sends me message in my inbox and laughs wen some pervert write openli dere feelings on my wall im enjoyinin cos we both are realli mature about it face book is to small to cos a break up d annoying ting is people put all dere hope on facebook but d irony is facebook can not be replaced with family or a loved one ……..but yes im a facebook addict
DawnKA

Not to sound naive – I think it could work as long as we are open and honest with each other. I have encouraged my husband to join FB but as of this moment he is not interested. In my mind, I think it would be great fun!! He could catch up with old friends and also use it for networking. However, I can imagine as I have heard from others that it can create touchy/uncomfortable moments/spats in the relationship.
http://www.facebook.com/docgoodin Jullian

This is ridiculous. When a couple is married this is no “mine” or “yours.” There is just “ours.” You don’t have your own set of friends…secret bank accounts..litlte things on the side that you keep away from him or her. The object of a marriage is to form a UNION. This is not saying that relationships are not going to have their issues. But people get divorced because they are trying to hold on to something. Its an act of pride and self indulgence. The REASONS described that she is not a friend on facebook…regardless of the relevance or truths behind it does not trump the wedding vows made. Nothing should be placed before your spouse other than God…not even self. But the problem is most people don’t have this attitude. You usually have one person fully committed and the other person 80% or less committed. The point is you are choosing FACEBOOK over your wife. I don’t care the details. FACEBOOK OVER YOUR WIFE..seriously??? Has there been that much of a separation in the marriage? I am VERY sure that during the courting stages if you were to tell her that you would do this..you would not be married. But during that stage I am sure that thought would have never crossed your mind. Where is your priority? This is where “irreconcilable differences” come into a divorce contract. Basically what that means is “We really don’t want to discuss the pettiness of our divorce.” “Facebook, crumbs on the counter, he won’t pick up laundry, she doesn’t cook enough.”

http://thereallifeadvice.com JM

Finally some wisdom. First of all, Facebook is not the reason people divorce, but it is a catalyst. It is an avenue for acting out behavior which is in your heart. You can’t blame it solely on fb because if it weren’t fb, it would be something else. Second, this befriending spouses thing is ridiculous. People can put whatever kind of mask on the issues they want, but ultimately if you are married and honest and not on there flirting and acting a damn fool, then you shouldn’t have any problems having your spouse on your page. My wife has my password and vice versa. We keep our personal family business off posts and set boundaries to protect our marriage (like no ex’s). It really is simple. What do you need an ex on your page for? Who cares if they see how good you look now, how successful you are, or how you turned out to be a good catch? That’s dumb. Let them rot. People just get on there and turn into attention whores. They fall in love with the attention they receive from periods of time they should leave in the past…and let it affect their future. I agree Jullian. It is so incredibly dumb to allow some attention from a social site come between you and the person you jumped the broom with.
Velmoni

Yes….finally someone who gets it.

http://www.makesmewannaholler.com E.Payne

Lots of great comments. I’ve been talking about this offline with Lamar(BMWK) and the interesting dynamic that has risen out of this article is that there is the notion (that wasn’t mentioned in the article at all) about having something to hide. My personal motivation for doing what I did was had nothing to do with hiding or keeping anything from my wife or vice versa. There was a time when I found the site to be a distraction in the midst of a bigger external problem we were facing. I personally needed to focus on that, not Facebook. So I didn’t cut my virtual ties with her to hold on to Facebook. How silly is that? I actually stopped using Facebook for business, pleasure etc. for a while along with a few other distractions and put ALL my focus on my wife. Facebook on it’s own held no power over either of us which is why we both moved on easily once we got back to the basics and have had our own great dialog about the stir this article has caused. She actually has it linked to her profile and has gotten into a positive dialog with coworkers and family about it.

If people are using Facebook to maintain separate lives then that is something else entirely and definitely not productive for a marriage, but if a couple or a mate does the social networking thing together then decides they’d prefer to interact in person rather than online they should be able to do so without it being some sort of indication that their relationship is on the brink of collapse. If FB works for you, it works. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t.

Butafli

…mate does the social networking thing together then decides they’d prefer to interact in person rather than online they should be able to do so without it being some sort of indication that their relationship is on the brink of c’ollapse.

This line helped me the most. It made me wake up and realize that I was being childish! If hubby is not okay with interacting with me online, then why should I care or compain…let alone argue this point with him. I am going to let go of my unfounded hurt, stop being a narrow-minded selfish brat, and let him do FB his way while I do it my way. Who is wrong or right? You would think after 17 years of marriage that I would have not let this issue spin out of control the way it did today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He is a good husband. I would like for him to put his love for me on blast on FB , or anywhere for that matter. I found his lack of comments, flirting, etc… as a sign of not being proud of us…not wanting to brag on his woman but I see where that was just ME and that he is designed differently and I need to accept that fact and get over myself! LESSON LEARNED HERE!

kay

still not understanding why you chose to de-friend your spouse instead of just closing your account. if people are being disrespectful of your marriage, then are they really your friends? that’s who you should de-friend.

if you were revealing too much about your life via facebook then the resolution to that is quite simple.

how could facebook cause so much of a problem that you can’t be linked to your wife (since she has an account)… yet facebook is so important that you feel you must keep your account open…

i understand not reading a journal, that is private. i don’t understand cordoning off your wife from something you share openly with others. and let’s not forget, nothing you put on facebook is private. facebook owns it.

http://thereallifeadvice.com JM

Preach!

http://www.onlineedublog.com/facebook/ K James

Hi,
When the president of the United States of America gave a ‘Back to School’ speech this year, he warned the children to be careful when using Facebook, the world’s biggest social networking website.
T.E.A.

I agree w/ that 100% My husband and i r not fb friends,@ first i wanted 2 be and he didn’t i felt he must have something 2 hide,Hs’s been on it 4 yrs. and i just joined.I’m glad were not friends cuz it gives us our own space.And i’m on it 4 fun,And he’s the more serious type.It’s nothing wrong w/not been friends on fb,But there is if ur not friends @ home. ENJOY

Butafli

Now, why in the world couldn’t I have been mature enough to see it this way. I am such a clown but hubby is very serious. So, he didn’t like certain playful comments on his page from me. I got mad about it. I thought he should know that my comments are playful and not personal…like he was taking them! Maybe I need to learn, like you, that we are ONE but different and that should be okay with me. I just wanted to share FB with him the same as I do with my other friends. *sigh*

cheddachasa

My wife and I were reunited on facebook so we’ve been friends before becoming married, and have no plans to change. We look at each others pages to keep up with interesting articles or updates but that’s about it. She knows that almost everyone I’ve kissed, dated or slept with is friends with me but doesn’t care. Nor should she as I wouldn’t do anything to disrespect her, especially online. The home page loads up with my user name and password so she could check my page if she wanted to, but has no desire to.

No PDA’s for the most part either, we use text messages for that!

Truth be told, the majority of people I know who are wary of being friends with their significant other on facebook are cheaters anyway.

Butafli

TRUE 2 DAT…in reference to your last statement!!!!!!! We have eachother’s passwords and on any given day, our page may be left open in the house for hours on end. I DARE every couple on this site to do the very same thing! Now what!!???!!!

Asehral

I’ve thought about joining Facebook, but my husband and I agreed not to for the very reasons stated in this blog.
CJ

My husband and I both have FB accounts (since January 2009). We have no problems whatsoever. On the flipside, I don’t really use it too much, and even when I do decide to sign in more often, we don’t really talk on fb. I guess because we have nothing to say on FB because we talk on the phone all day and see each other periodically through the day.
Tafari

I recently cut ties with my wife & mother via FB. I talk to them enough & I dont like to think that I’m being monitored when communicating online. I’m totally OK with it.
Tafari
rg

I don’t know how to handle this. I know my wife’s old boyfriend has been talking to her on facebook. now she goes to all of her schools functions with her friends. She tells me that no spouces come to these functions. Should I be worried?

Butafli

YEP! You know why? …beacuse I prefer that he doesn’t attend my college homecomings with me either. They can’t possibly half as fun as they are with him absent. I wouldn’t be able to flirt and old boyfriends wouldn’t approach me. I want to see them too, like all the others at HC. The attention is great. I don’t cheat but I know what’s up with your wife because I am “your wife!” I bet anything too that she is an attractive, well shaped woman????

http://Funkidivagirl.com Funkidivagirl

RG: Yes, I would be worried.
Allan

Terrible. I’ve seen it happen to friends, as well as myself. I have one word that I use to cover a variety of thoughts about a particular topic, blog, photo, etc., etc. That word is ‘interesting’. It’s not good, or bad. To me, it just means there is something there that caught my attention and I might not have felt like making a detailed comment about it at that time. But the wifey takes it to mean I don’t like something, even though I have explained to her, a thousand times why I said it.

The other day she emails me some photos of her and the kids and says put these on your FB. She didn’t ASK me if I wanted to do it. I asked her wouldn’t it better to put them on HER FB page, rather than mine, so HER friends could see them, since they are the ones always asking to see photos of her? I have pix of her and the kids on my FB, but they are a couple of years old. After my question, is when the “argument” started…”oh, you don’t want to put out pix on your page, cause they’re not good enuff huh?”, “i c u making comments about other people’s pix, but all i get is interesting?” Can’t win for losing. LOL.

Butafli

I am laughing because I would have been the same way! However, reading it makes “me” look ridiculous!

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Precious

I get it!!!
Kshan

Honestly, I never really thought about it til now (and recently, since my BF threatened to delete me as a friend), but maybe more couples should ‘de-friend’ one another. I can get a little carried away (i.e. looking at pics he was recently tagged in, transferring personal moods to my status) all that “Xtra” stuff is unnecessary and can really threaten your relationship. I wanna make “our world–the real one” reserved for just us, and leave social networks for social activity.
Thanks for your honesty.
Deenae8856

WHOA! If a husband and wife can't be friends on FaceBOOK they really don't have much of a marriage.

Dexterfan2011

Thats the best reply I have heard all day Deenae8856…. if facebook changes a marriage that much they maybe those people should not be married..just a thought

darrenmclard

I can not imagine that a social network website can be responsible for problems within a couple. Come on people! I have tried imagining life without my wife a few days ago and I couldn't do it. This is why I am not hiding anything from her. Is true that I have canceled my FB account month ago because I have realized that is better to get in touch with real people rather than a virtual one.
Mike

When we first discovered Facebook, my wife and I joined and friended one another. Ooooh, how cool!

The first time we fought, she posted the following:

I am a complete and utter idiot.

When I saw this, I naturally clicked “like”. It felt right, you know?

A few minutes passed before I began to regret clicking “like”. Why was I dissing my wife in front of her multitude of friends? Because I could, that's why.

I unfriended her.

Since then, we continue to fight often, and because of this I'm glad we're no longer Facebook friends.

Luckily the deterioration of our relationship won't play out on Facebook, for all the world to see.
http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/QZAH5OJGMBY66ASSQT5RL6B5UU Tracita Linda

I have Fb'ed with the one I loved. When we first started “getting to know” each other, it was a snoping method. Then it helped the “honeymoon” mode when we would talk to each other “publicly” and make it know that we were exclusive and all gushy with love.
Eventually it has affected us negatively to the point of great arguments and now we are friends again but I think this article touches amazing points. Just a couple of days ago we were having a convo where the boo asked me a question and then a couple seconds later posed the question on FB through his iphone. That pissed me off…the immediacy of it. As if my response wasn't worth much but the FB community will surely have a substantial answer in seconds.
I don't think he knows how much that hurt me. And he feels if we un-friend each other then we're “hiding” stuff…
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Almondee7

I disagree with the article, something deeper is going on at home to those that can't be friends with their spouse on FB… SERIOUSLY, FB???? something's wrong. Whether someone is controlling, cheating, lying, flirting, LOW SELF ESTEEM, something's wrong with that picture. all my married friends are friends with their spouces on FB. If you can't survive a networkign site, and don't know who half the spouces friends are THEN YOUR MARRIAGE JUST INS'T STRONG ENOUGH—– SORRY. But to each their own

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=655435523 Candyce Kinsey

This is exactly what I think. I’ve actually never heard of a married couple not being friends on FB if both had accounts. Technology and social networks don’t cause problems in a relationship – they simply UNCOVER them. If you’re having so many issues, stop blaming it on FB and get thee to a counselor! Those problems were there to begin with and most likely manifested themselves in other, more subtle ways, but FB merely shone a light on it. So unfriending your spouse is hardly going to fix the problem. It’s nothing more than dimming the light and pretending the problem isn’t there.

Pgorham11

I am friends with my husband but I have a separate page for business. My business associates do not want to see childhood photos of me! My advice is to have 2 separate pages but include your spouse on the personal page,
Pgorham11

I am friends with my husband but I have a separate page for business. My business associates do not want to see childhood photos of me! My advice is to have 2 separate pages but include your spouse on the personal page,
Crgriffin

if i had to choose it would definately be my husband over facebook. that is such a no brainer for me!! why has no one just considered just getting rid of their account???

Jen

@Crgriffin. I chose to get off facebook. It proves to be a bit much. I’m a very private person and wanted to know what was all the hoopla about, so I was on for about a year and connected to classmates from elementary, high school and college. My husband and I never befriended the other or even requested. I can say I would never go back to Facebook. Jen

http://twitter.com/mskaos208 BK.GURL

I am “friends” with my husband on FB and our profiles are linked, but honestly it’s not caused any issues between us. We both respect each others virtual space. We didn’t talk about it beforehand, but that’s just how it’s happened. We do have many friends in common–many are family (including our parents!)

I post a lot more than he does, but I’d never post anything that was our private biz (likewise for my husband)…mainly bc we do have so many ppl in common and I dont want anyone else’s opinion….which is what I’d be soliciting if I did that. Besides peeping in now and then and tagging each other in pics, we dont interact much online.

One day I did decide to post a cute message on his wall like, “hey good looking”. My husband didnt even notice it til days after but his other friends (some we have in common) posted countless comments and likes to my message. That was the first and LAST cutesy message on his FB wall. If I want to send him something cute or sexy I do it over text, email or phone so it stays just between us.

Butafli

I don’t get it???? You are like my husband! What’s wrong with other’s seeing and/or commenting on your cutesy comment to your husband???? Really, I need to understand that because I don’t see what’s the big deal????????????

http://www.happyhomebakery.com mochazina

Ditto, cept for the profile pics, passwords & chat.
We use our profile pics to express our moods & individuality. Matter of fact, I need to go change mine in preparation for the game tomorrow… WHO DAT!! DEUX DAT!! lol
I use Firefox & he uses IE, so both of our passwords are stored in the browsers. Also we often have each other “run errands” on the internet for each other, so we both know all of each others passwords. And yesterday we had a lil fun “hacking” each others pages and posting strange statii… LOL Straight COMEDY!! hehehe
Many thoughtful conversations happen on chat with friends. He has friends, I have friends, and almost all of both of our friends ask about the spouse in chatting (sometimes leading to lil side convos). Some convos are too “private” to have on the walls, but need the “instantness” of chat without the commitment needed to hold an actual phone convo. (I hope that made sense! LOL)
Anywhoo – needless to say we are FB friends, in addition to being real life friends. It works well for us.
http://www.happyhomebakery.com mochazina

In addition to my reply to Dee above, may I add…

My mom, my aunts, my uncle, nieces, cousins, other family, co-workers, church friends and their kids are all my FB friends. Certain posts, I use my friend lists to limit their visibility (ladies only, family only, etc). Most everything else, I just remain who I am & that’s a Christian wife. I post the kinds of things I’d say. FB has the same limitations as my mouth because at the end of the day I first represent Christ, and second my hunny. So there are no issues of “not wanting my mom to see that” cuz if I wouldn’t say it in front of her, I probably shouldn’t be saying it at all, right? I have many older FB friends (family and church family) who read my posts, but never comment on them online, but will comment to me in person!
I don’t understand folk who restrict their friends because it’s mom or dad or grandma or baby cousins or nieces/nephews… why would you put it out there where someone else could find it and show it to em anyway? Are you saying that you’re two-faced? To me it’s easier to just be who you are at all times and just let the person you be be rated PG. LOL

Butafli

“Just be who you are…” …now that will preach! I don’t care who sees my page, from the youngest family member to the most esteemed friend. I, too. represent Christ and many other things. I keep this in mind with every single post and picture. I felt this one sista!

Rones

I love this article – you have got it down to a tee. You’re a really good writer….very easy flow. I’m British – I live in London, (single) and will be forwarding to a few friends
Mooregirl919

I also deleted my husband as my friend we also shared sweet nothing over the network then it turn in to who is that and y i think it was a very good decision i know people that we used to be friends with dont “SEE” the relationship status MARRIED..or they jus dont care…if those friends choose to send things that are inappropriate to us then it is up to us to check them,delete them, or ignore their comments…but it is very easy to get sucked in to facebook in the wrong way i see it everyday…i also believe that if he or she is not for me or you the they are not for us as a married couple…(thanks to site) PEACE AND BLESSINGS!!!
http://www.traveldivastories.com TravelDiva

I have been “friends” with my husband on FB since the day I created his profile. I even manage his business page on FB as well. We have never had a problem or any of the issues you described at all. Perhaps because he rarely gets on FB, doesn’t comment on anything (except an occasional like, happy birthday etc), and usually asks me to post a status update for him. He says he logs on to see what craziness I’ve been up to & keep a pulse on his kids. We just don’t “play” on FB. If we wanted to play then I can go into his office for a round of pokey-poo (use your imagination). Thus, we are able to be “friends” on FB and escape all the social media drama.
Do what works best for you.
*shrugs*

Butafli

Thank you Diva. “Just don’t play on Facebook!” Why is it that I could receive that from you but found it hurtful and a ridiculous request from Hubby???

Beautifulone71

Allan, do you post more that “interesting” on articles and pics of others? If so, why? The biggest problem with facebook is the way people use it not the site itsself. It may not be ones intention to have inappropriate conversations, secret relationships, setting up hookups and virtual affairs but the reality is if you dont establish and uphold certain boundaries your relationship can fall victim to it. Some folk you just done need to be friends with. An ex flame is an ex for a reason. All relationships go through problems and at the weakest points those “inappropriate” friendships seem to occur. We have to safeguard our marriages and relationships by first respecting who we are, respecting our commitments and warding off triffling folk.
Joliefemme0315@aol.com

Wow from reading those post I can tell all of you who are in a relationship got so much to hid from your partners and that’s why you don’t want them to see what you’re doing and what kind of dirty comments you’re posting on your exes profile. Thus Facebook is really not causing you problems it’s you who can’t be truthful to your partners!
Tiffany

That is true. Facebook can be good or bad for couples. It makes us think, Is facebook starting problems or uncovering them. If facebook is starting them, then you can simpy delete it or start a joint acct. My husband and I are in the military and facebook has been useful with keeping in touch with family. (I get to keep an eye on my younger family members too.lol) We have had arguements over facebook statements and full blown arguements on facebook. The truth is we had communication issues already so facebook was just another way to show it. Once we fixed our communication issues there havent been any facebook issues. The same goes for any other problem in relationships.
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Hardrock606

My wife was on fb about a year before I joined. In this last 15 months since being a member, I reconnected with an ex which caused major problems with my wife. I have had my wife hack my account and change my password to lock me out of my account, have had my wife delete about 30 female acquaintances from college, and she has de-friended me about 3 or 4 times. This last time I just decided not to re-friend her. I also changed my email passwords to hopefully keep her from hacking back into my account. I’m tired of the drama she brings to fb when she was the main reason I got on in the first place. The benefits of fb don’t out weigh the problems it has caused. But I spend a lot less time on fb these days.
Hardrock606

Yes, be worried and very afraid!
Hardrock606

By the way I never saw my ex, or friended her, the act of just looking to see if she was on fb was enough to cause the problem. I have never cheated on my wife in the 10 years we’ve been married. I’m not saying fb has caused our problems, it’s just brought them out of hiding.
?????

I can truly relate to this situation. My husband and i are not friends on Facebook. it seemed as if facebook was causing more harm than good in our already troubled marriage. He was very insecure and would constantly snoop and invade my privacy and constantly question me about every friend, comment, or picture made on my Facebook page, it became unbearable and ridiculous. Thanks for sharing
Sweetsunshyne

This article truly helped me My husband shared the same feelings that you’ve expressed and he deleted me from his Facebook page, I was offended and asked if he had something to hide and he simply expressed that he can’t help his feelings about the comments and posts people make even if they aren’t disrespectful he doesn’t want it to be a window of allowing his imagination to run away with the questions. I am his friend in the real world where it counts so i guess i’ll have to accept the facebook rejection. Thanks for helping me to understand it from a different perspective.
Ntm Thompson

I completely agree. My husband and I are not friends on FB, and it works for us. I’m not interested in his FB account nor does he have interest in mine. We are married, we live together..though he is my friend, he is my HUSBAND first.
CocoQueen228

I learned the hard way how powerful Facebook can be via an accidental post to my husband’s public wall. Not only is Facebook an issue, but technology (email and text messaging) can easily become an issue, distraction and a serious problem. Especially if a spouse is not responsible and capable of respectfuly managing his/her business and “friendships”.
fb hater

My wife and i had a peaceful non-facebook relationship until recently when i mentioned to her that i wanted to “friend” some of her friends simply because she was friends with mine. Big fights ensued, and she wouldn’t be my FB friend because she didn’t want an online babysitter. I still think she is hiding something from me (she swears she isn’t). I wish FB was never invented because it has brought me nothing but heartache.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=655435523 Candyce Kinsey

That’s pretty petty…. on both sides. If an adult can’t manage to trust his/her spouse and not overreact to statuses and comments, then s/he really has no business on FB in the first place, whether the spouse is a friend or not. My husband is my friend on FB, but I don’t troll through his page or nag him about every little thing. This isn’t highschool.
Nettaboo83

Interesting or not interesting?
Goodmoney

U and ur wife should hve kept ur “pillow talk off Facebook.Me and my wife are friends and we dnt talk about our sex life, arguments or anything else thas private to us. She has her friends and I have my friends. She doesn’t know my password but I know hers and would never think of hacking her page.