The Name Game

When I got married, I ask my “pre-husband” if it mattered to him, and he said that it didn’t. But in the end, I decided to hyphenate my name. Mainly because I had just graduated from high school (yeah I know), so my maiden name is what everyone knew me by. People at my kids school call me by my husbands last name only, but I don’t mind because either name still equates “me”.

It was important to my husband that we had the same last name so I chose to drop my maiden name and keep my middle name (my grandmother’s name). I did mourn my maiden name for a little while. It was hard to get used to but I love having the same last name as my husband.

I used to be adamant that I would not take my husband’s last name. However, we finally decided to just add his last name to my last name, and the kids we don’t have (yet?) are going to have both last names. No hyphen. I know that some people will try to only use the husband’s last name, since there will be no hyphen, but I’m going to make sure, for example, the new ID i’ll get, and my email address at work reflect the correct name.

I dropped my maiden name and took my husband’s name. I rebelled against the tradition of my own family because there was no rhyme or reason to me walking around with my maiden name as my middle name. It just didn’t make sense to me.

Then, when it came time to name our first child, my family wanted me to go the same route they went. My brother’s middle name is my mom’s maiden name. I just didn’t see my son having that name at all. LOL My husband didn’t see him having any similar name as the rest of his family (with the exception of the last name, of course), so we went with what we heard through prayer.

Now our daughter, when she comes along will have my mother’s original middle name, my husband’s nickname for me, and my husband’s grandmother’s first name, then our last name. LOL We like it because her initials will be A.B.C. Hairston, and our nickname for her will be “Alphabet.” ROFL!

Teriffic that is similar to what I did. As much as you kind of don’t want to think about it, your name is kind of your “brand” professionally, depending on what career you’re in. If you’ve already developed your reputation based on one name its hard to change it in the middle. Plus Aja Dorsey or Aja Dorsey Jackson stands out a lot more than Aja Jackson which is why I use that professionally.

I changed my last name the Monday after we married. New driver’s license and social security card. Keeping my maiden last name was not a big deal to me. At that time, I did not have a career or anything so nothing was tied to my maiden last name. Now a lot is tied to my married name since basically everything I have done has occurred after being married such as graduating from college. But I still get occasional mail from my college alma mater with my maiden last name and I wonder “why did they do that” since I always went by my middle and husband’s last name in school.

I added my husbands last name to my last name to give me two last names (no hyphen), but society including work has given me a hyphen. I wanted to keep my last name because it was important to me to have my father’s last name. Some people call me by my husband’s last name (only)and lots of people add the hyphen. I used to correct each and every person, but I’ve given up trying to correct people over the years. I know who I am and there are bigger fights to fight in the world than what people choose to call me. As long as they don’t call me late to dinner, I’m good to go:-)

Before I married my husband I asked him what he thought about me keeping my maiden name and he was like “sure you can keep it”, but as time went on he didn’t like it so much. I don’t know why, but it’s a sore topic for him. I always remind him that I did ask him before we said “I do”. I’m glad I kept my last name, I was 32 years old when I got married and dropping my name would have made me feel as if I had lost something. I did drop my middle initial, but my father gave me his name it sounds good with my first name, futhermore my husband’s name complements it so well. I’m glad I kept my name and I’m happy to be Dedra Clark-McGee!

Professionally, I hyphenate because I published research before we married, with my maiden name. In some way, I wanted to honor my parents who didn’t get as far in school as I did by making their name present in my work. When it comes to our personal life though, I chose to use his last name. By the way Aja, I married a Jackson too.

I will hyphenate.

I did what all the women in my family have done for generations, which is drop my middle name and use my maiden name as my middle name. What annoys me is that people assume that I am doing the 2-last-name thing, which I am not. I am more than happy just to be known as Mrs. M. I think more and more people are doing the 2 last name thing and people just assume. I am published under my maiden name though so I publish under that still.