Comments on: Are Your Parents The “B” Grandparents? http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/10/22/are-your-parents-the-b-grandparents Promoting Positive Images of Marriage and Parenting Since 2007 Sun, 12 Feb 2012 21:09:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Candance http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/10/22/are-your-parents-the-b-grandparents/comment-page-1#comment-48297 Candance Fri, 02 Dec 2011 15:50:00 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=6598#comment-48297 It's the opposite for me, as well. My husband and I live in Maryland, my family's in Tennessee and my husband's family is in New York. Needless to say, our kids see the New York family more often than my Tennessee family. However, my husband and I made a vow that we would make it our mission to have the kids connected with both sets of grandparents. So, we do lots of phone calling, my mother flies up at least twice a year to visit and we visit Tennessee during the Christmas holiday. It all really depends on how you "talk up" the grandparents who are on the B Team, and how included they are made to feel by the opposite spouse--how often do you interact with your inlaws, and how you act around them effects how your children will interact with them. Kids pick up on that, and react to it, and that impacts how comfortable B Team grandparents are with their grandkids and how comfortable the kids are with the B Team grandparents. It’s the opposite for me, as well. My husband and I live in Maryland, my family’s in Tennessee and my husband’s family is in New York. Needless to say, our kids see the New York family more often than my Tennessee family. However, my husband and I made a vow that we would make it our mission to have the kids connected with both sets of grandparents. So, we do lots of phone calling, my mother flies up at least twice a year to visit and we visit Tennessee during the Christmas holiday. It all really depends on how you “talk up” the grandparents who are on the B Team, and how included they are made to feel by the opposite spouse–how often do you interact with your inlaws, and how you act around them effects how your children will interact with them. Kids pick up on that, and react to it, and that impacts how comfortable B Team grandparents are with their grandkids and how comfortable the kids are with the B Team grandparents.

]]> By: Tess http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/10/22/are-your-parents-the-b-grandparents/comment-page-1#comment-18908 Tess Fri, 23 Oct 2009 16:00:54 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=6598#comment-18908 I completely agree. My daughter is closer to my mom. It sometimes hurt my feelings that my husbands mom doesn't take the extra mile to be closer to her also. My mom is very hands on and demands her grand parenting time. LOL. His mom doesn't.But I also think as mothers sometimes we cut off our nose to spite our face. For example, it kind of goes w/o saying that I feel more comfortable with my mom than I do his. So I believe that my mom-in-law pulls back because I make her feel strange. Which is only natural for me. I teach and raise my child the things I was taught, and the way I was brought up, so I know my mom will treat her the way I treat her. His mom NO. I completely agree. My daughter is closer to my mom. It sometimes hurt my feelings that my husbands mom doesn’t take the extra mile to be closer to her also. My mom is very hands on and demands her grand parenting time. LOL. His mom doesn’t.But I also think as mothers sometimes we cut off our nose to spite our face. For example, it kind of goes w/o saying that I feel more comfortable with my mom than I do his. So I believe that my mom-in-law pulls back because I make her feel strange. Which is only natural for me. I teach and raise my child the things I was taught, and the way I was brought up, so I know my mom will treat her the way I treat her. His mom NO.

]]> By: Sandra (hicksgirl93) http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/10/22/are-your-parents-the-b-grandparents/comment-page-1#comment-18907 Sandra (hicksgirl93) Fri, 23 Oct 2009 15:35:25 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=6598#comment-18907 wow, I thought it was just in my family that this happens to. My parents are definately the "A" grandparents and my husbands parents are the "B" grandparents. My husbands parents are not as giving and willing with our children as my parents are. My children prefer to stay over my mom's house because my mom is more interactive with them. wow, I thought it was just in my family that this happens to. My parents are definately the “A” grandparents and my husbands parents are the “B” grandparents. My husbands parents are not as giving and willing with our children as my parents are. My children prefer to stay over my mom’s house because my mom is more interactive with them.

]]> By: Anonymous http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/10/22/are-your-parents-the-b-grandparents/comment-page-1#comment-18877 Anonymous Thu, 22 Oct 2009 22:56:16 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=6598#comment-18877 I noticed the same thing with my child and my brother's children. I think a woman doesn't mind becoming involved in the mothering of a child so long as the mother is her own daughter but when the mother is just another woman even though it is her son's wife there is a standoff-ish attitude; possibly out of respect and not wanting to overstep boundaries. I noticed the same thing with my child and my brother’s children. I think a woman doesn’t mind becoming involved in the mothering of a child so long as the mother is her own daughter but when the mother is just another woman even though it is her son’s wife there is a standoff-ish attitude; possibly out of respect and not wanting to overstep boundaries.

]]> By: Na2 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/10/22/are-your-parents-the-b-grandparents/comment-page-1#comment-18862 Na2 Thu, 22 Oct 2009 17:46:12 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=6598#comment-18862 You know what!? I never thought about that and thinking about it , it's so true!!!....this is a good topic You know what!? I never thought about that and thinking about it , it’s so true!!!….this is a good topic

]]> By: Dedra http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/10/22/are-your-parents-the-b-grandparents/comment-page-1#comment-18859 Dedra Thu, 22 Oct 2009 16:15:44 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=6598#comment-18859 This is an interesting point and true to an extent. I think it depends on how close a daughter-in-law is to her mother-in-law that would make the difference. I was just as closer or closer to my father's mother. I think it depends on how the child interacts with the "B" grandparents that builds the relationship. I just lost my "B" grandmother a few months ago and I have fond memories of the two of us. This is an interesting point and true to an extent. I think it depends on how close a daughter-in-law is to her mother-in-law that would make the difference. I was just as closer or closer to my father’s mother. I think it depends on how the child interacts with the “B” grandparents that builds the relationship. I just lost my “B” grandmother a few months ago and I have fond memories of the two of us.

]]> By: Aja http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/10/22/are-your-parents-the-b-grandparents/comment-page-1#comment-18858 Aja Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:57:21 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=6598#comment-18858 I think its the opposite with my kids. One, my parents aren't together and my father lives in Florida so my kids don't see him often at all while my husbands parents are together and live close so they spend more time with them. My mom also has other grandchildren while my son is a first for my husbands parents so they watch him a lot more than my mom does. It was the same way for me though. I was always closer with my father's family growing up than my mother's. I think its the opposite with my kids. One, my parents aren’t together and my father lives in Florida so my kids don’t see him often at all while my husbands parents are together and live close so they spend more time with them. My mom also has other grandchildren while my son is a first for my husbands parents so they watch him a lot more than my mom does. It was the same way for me though. I was always closer with my father’s family growing up than my mother’s.

]]> By: A Shorter Mama http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/10/22/are-your-parents-the-b-grandparents/comment-page-1#comment-18846 A Shorter Mama Thu, 22 Oct 2009 14:32:39 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=6598#comment-18846 I defintely agree. My mom comes to visit twice a month while my inlaws didn't met my youngest until he was 18 months. Hubby's family are much closer to his sister's children than ours. I think it hurts him at times and me too because I know he wants our children to know both sides. The question is, what will become of me since I have TWO boys... I defintely agree. My mom comes to visit twice a month while my inlaws didn’t met my youngest until he was 18 months. Hubby’s family are much closer to his sister’s children than ours. I think it hurts him at times and me too because I know he wants our children to know both sides.

The question is, what will become of me since I have TWO boys…

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