Two Extremes

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by Lamar Tyler | on October 23rd, 2009 | 7 comments

twoextremes

by Harriet Hairston

When I was a child, my parents always told me that they wanted what was best for me, and if anyone ever messed with me, they would gladly go to jail to ensure I was safe. As a parent now, I totally understand that sentiment. Both my parents were very protective of my brother and I, and we were never hurt or abused as long as we remained within the safety of their set boundaries.

However, in Florida, a case is playing out before the public eye that may be on the extreme side, although I can’t hate the father for doing what he did. Wade Edwards arrived home to find his 16 year old step-daughter having sex with 18 year old Julian Harp. He proceeded to leave the room and load his handgun. When he came back, Harp was out of bed and almost dressed. Edwards shot him twice–below the belt–before Harp bounded down the stairs to run for help. Harp was shot two more times after that–again, below the belt–before a neighbor called 911 and Edwards confessed to the crime. He is currently being charged with second degree attempted murder.

There is no limit to what a parent will do to protect those under their protection, which is why I’m so baffled by this next extreme. In Tennessee, a 23 year old mother and her aunt left home to go shopping. The only problem was, they left two toddlers–aged 2 and 3–alone in the apartment. Police and fire fighters don’t know what happened next, but for the 3 year old, it’s too late. He died as a result of a fire that started in the residence, and his 2 year old brother is in “extremely critical condition.” As those two little boys were being transported to the hospital via ambulance, the aunt, in what I hope was an orchestrated attempt by the media to make her look ignorant (as opposed to her really being THAT ignorant) said, ”I really need to get in there to see did my purse burn up, cause I had my food stamp card and everything in there.”OMG.

BMWK, what do you think are the root causes behind these two extremes? Let your voice be heard, and tell us what your thoughts are about the consequences you think either of these parents deserve.

God bless!

~ Harriet

Harriet Hairston, a freelance writer, human resources administrator at an HBCU and creator of the motivational blog, “Can She SAY That?!?” has a unique style that brings readers into her life through her transparent demeanor. She lives in Louisiana with her husband and two sons. You can reach her at harriet_hairston@yahoo.com.

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

http://www.wisdomswork.com DonielleMichele

First…..May that baby rest in peace and may God do what he needs to do to bring the other baby to peace (whether that’s here on earth or in heaven). I have no words for the ignorant Food Stamp comment PERIOD! Anyway, the mother needs to be locked up for being dumn as heck and then needs to volunteer at the burn unit in hospitals. Then she needs to help dig graves for the families of children that passed way too soon. Then she needs to get some parenting and common sense classes! Then she needs to be forced to get her doggone tubes tied!!! Okay maybe that last one was a little extremem but it’s how I feel right now…..lol!
Now the father was kinda crazy for shooting that kid….lol! I know as parents we want to protect our children but it has to be in a responsible manner. It’s not like the boy was raping his daughter. He should have asked the boy to get dressed and then had the both of them sit down at the table and discuss what happened. If he was too fired up he should have just gotten the boy’s parents number and told him to leave and not come back. The shooting was not called for. What if he killed the kid? He would have taken a child away from another parent and for what….sex?!?! The parent would be left to mourn a child that was guilty of being a horny teenager. That’s life and kids make mistakes. He shouldnt’ have to pay for that mistake with his life. The dad needs to go to JAIL and then take some anger management classes. Then he needs to dig graves for the families of shooting victims and see how they mourn for a lost life!
Yolanda (The Queen)

Both cases – No value for life!
http://www.babybumping.blogspot.com Aja

I agree Donielle. I said the same thing yesterday about the woman needing to get her tubes tied and I’m not taking it back!
As far as the man shooting the boy in his house, I think that was way extreme and crazy. If he came home and his daughter was tied up and being raped that’s one thing, but if you could shoot every teenager in the world for having sex, there would be a whole lot of us that wouldn’t be alive right now. Who knows how hard the road ahead will be for the boy that got shot because this father couldn’t control his anger. No one wants to think about their kids having sex but the reality is it happens and in this case was consensual. He would have been a lot better off dealing with his daughter about this then going off shooting people just because he got mad about what was going on.
http://whyte23.blogspot.com/ Whyte23

Good Day Good People,
Wow …Amen @ DonielleMichele comments concerning the single mother and aunt going shopping in returning two toddlers life’s are change forever (which is an understatement). God Bless the Babies…

As a father of two children a son (18 yrs old )and daughter (16 yrs old)…I can understand the father in Florida feeling and doing what he did…As an on going joke we as father talk about what we would or would not do If this same situation is at our door step, How would we truly respond to it? Yes, He should have asked the boy to get dressed and then had the both of them sit down at the table and discuss what happened. If he was too fired up he should have just gotten the boy’s parents number and told him to leave and not come back. That nice on the Bill Crosby Show! As a father witnessing his baby girl in that situation is not GOOD. I’ve notices in this article his 16 year old step-daughter? How was the relationship (blended family) with his step-daughter? Yes, we assume by his actions the relationship must of been OK or was he a hot head on the edge away? Secondly, the 18 yrs old boy (who’s of course is now the victim) who’s the same age as my son….Should have ran out the nearest window an or door with clothes in hand. Young (horny) & Out of control are our children….Ok! back to my point, cooler head should have prevail as a parent trying to protect and provide for your family. I can not and do not hate for what the father has done, but how far would I have gone? That’s what I’m praying about “What if this was ME?
My wife and I openly have talks & discussion ( good, bad and ugly ) and continue to have a strong relationship with both of our children about all matters of the heart. Plus, my kid understand that I think outside of the box anyway…I don’t believe for one minute that my kids are prefect by no means. On the Flip-side that could have been my son an or daughter in this situation. As a believer of faith i ask for God’s direction and guiding daily.
We as parents are not always going to make the correct choices in the heat of the moment…10 seconds of anger can be a life time of pain.

Thank you for reading….sorry it’s so long!
Again Nice Job Mrs.Harriet
atin

In the report of the two young boys, foremost I’m sorry that life was lost and the mental scars (if he survives) in the life of the young one who is still trying to cling to life. This is just one incident of many that proves the bible accuracies “critical times hard to deal with … “parents having no natural affection” (2 Tim 3:1).

In the case of the stepdad who allowed rage to take over and shot up a sexual hormone-exploding young man, apparently, the father expected some sort of foul behavior on the part of his step-daughter and the young man she was seeing. The father most likely spoke to him before about leaving his daughter alone, but failed to realize the daughter played a role too. I believe this was all planned. The stepdad wanted to catch them. So he decided to surprise them.

The sad part is, sometime, we all have a hard time dealing with the truth when it’s made visible to the nake eye, and how we react might even shock us. Everyone in that family needs counseling. The victim and his family needs counseling as well. Believe me, I don’t think he will be seen with a young lady anytime soon, and stepdad needs to get a hold of himself. Imagine how this young girl feels knowing she’s part to blame for her stepdad going to prison.
Anonymous

Both of these cases are so sad. We have a father who reacted instead of thinking and now is being placed behind bars for a crime he did commit. I believe the step-dad in this case was upset at the fact the daughter was caught having sex then went bizurk, obviously he couldn’t take it so he went with the first thought kill him. Now, what shocks me is after you shot him twice why shoot him two more times. This young man was out of order no doubt especailly sleeping with a minor in her parents home but the daughter gets off scott free. It takes two to screw and I believe she should have been disciplined right alongside him but not in the manner he the step-father chose. Nowadays we have this mentality if I catch a guy and my daughter doing anything in my house he’s dead on the spot. Whatever happened to talking things out? Why is we have to kill or shoot someone to get a point across. I heart goes out to this child family as well as the father who committed the crime. This man is only a product of what he perceived to be right and now we see that killing isn’t the best choice. Through all that shooting his daughter will never be a virgin again and prolly won’t have a dad to protect her from another man.

Case#2 was so selfish. This had nothing to do with droppin off a man but all to do with some drugs I do believe. This tells me these children have been neglected since birth. How could you leave 2 toddlers home to tend to themselves why you go off and get high. Honestly, I’m not shocked one bit. What gets me is how you can get on television and see no wrong in what you did. Say what? Huh? This woman was as high as a birds soars in the sky. Talking foolishness saying I don’t know who did it. No remorse whatsoever but to be concerned about a freaking food stamp card that is melted. I mean how could anybody allow her to keep anybody and who gave her a license to drive. I have never seen nothing like this in my life. I had no idea one of the children died. What a disgrace to the black race. I pray for the other child but I know the other is with GOD no longer suffering. Both women need to be arrested and the child should be placed with a loving family granted by the state.

The root cause in Case#1 is lack-of-self-control. This dad knew exactly what he was doing b/c he shot that child 4 times with intent to kill. No excuses although I do see the pain it caused him he could have handled it better b/c the boy was 18 he would have received time for carnal knowledge of a juvenile.

The root cause for #2 was selfishness,self-centeredness, “DRUGS” maybe schizophrenia,so many more.
Anna

I am familiar with both of these stories. My first thought with the stepdad shooting the bf was : why so extreme unless he was molesting her himself: In reading the fire story the mother and aunt left to drop someone off. My first thought was a crack house. It was less complicated to take them along being it was daylight and leaving them in the car alerts ppl that there are kids alone in a car, taking them with them and bringing them in the crack house was also not a good plan. Leaving them home alone for alittle while seemed the more safe thing to do. The aunt said that she had no regrets leaving the kids home alone, and worried about if her purse got burned because her food stamp card was in there. She even laughed before she said it. She looked and acted like a crackhead. Just my Columbo thoughts. The aunt is just as responsible for leaving those kids in that home along with the mother. They both knew the kids were in there when they left. They both should get jail time and sterilezed. The stepdad needs to be exposed because something is not right in my gut for him to do what he did. Send them all to jail and throw away the key.

Two Extremes

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