Comments on: 9 Things I Wish I Did Before I Had My Second Kid http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/10/26/9-things-i-wish-i-did-before-i-had-my-second-kid Promoting Positive Images of Marriage and Parenting Since 2007 Mon, 13 Feb 2012 00:17:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Monica Padula http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/10/26/9-things-i-wish-i-did-before-i-had-my-second-kid/comment-page-1#comment-47980 Monica Padula Tue, 22 Nov 2011 00:46:00 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=6633#comment-47980 Having kids, being a mom, working, and being a partner are all hard in themselves. You have so much identity hung up in each thing by itself. Learning to balance is going to be a lifelong lesson, I think here. You will always need to finangle in some "me" time, always need to find some "us as lovers" time, and need to figure out how to nap when your kids nap when you really want to research or write. I think the lessons forced upon us by family and marriage are blessings in disguise. So much value comes from what we learn. Good luck! Having kids, being a mom, working, and being a partner are all hard in themselves. You have so much identity hung up in each thing by itself. Learning to balance is going to be a lifelong lesson, I think here. You will always need to finangle in some “me” time, always need to find some “us as lovers” time, and need to figure out how to nap when your kids nap when you really want to research or write. I think the lessons forced upon us by family and marriage are blessings in disguise. So much value comes from what we learn. Good luck!

]]> By: LA Momma of 2 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/10/26/9-things-i-wish-i-did-before-i-had-my-second-kid/comment-page-1#comment-19162 LA Momma of 2 Tue, 27 Oct 2009 19:25:33 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=6633#comment-19162 In the end the little things make up the big picture and if we didn't have little hiccups along the way, we won't appreciate what we really have. It's just life with all the ups and downs and smiles to go along with it! In the end the little things make up the big picture and if we didn’t have little hiccups along the way, we won’t appreciate what we really have. It’s just life with all the ups and downs and smiles to go along with it!

]]> By: A Shorter Mama http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/10/26/9-things-i-wish-i-did-before-i-had-my-second-kid/comment-page-1#comment-19159 A Shorter Mama Tue, 27 Oct 2009 18:27:14 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=6633#comment-19159 As someone who found out I was pregnant when my oldest was 10 months, I could have written this myself! It's great to know I wasn't alone. Hubby and I had a hard time adjusting too, I wish I had someone to tell me to relax about things, except ready help (his) and not to sweat the small stuff. Great post! As someone who found out I was pregnant when my oldest was 10 months, I could have written this myself! It’s great to know I wasn’t alone. Hubby and I had a hard time adjusting too, I wish I had someone to tell me to relax about things, except ready help (his) and not to sweat the small stuff. Great post!

]]> By: monkey's mom http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/10/26/9-things-i-wish-i-did-before-i-had-my-second-kid/comment-page-1#comment-19157 monkey's mom Tue, 27 Oct 2009 18:09:59 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=6633#comment-19157 You are telling my story! My daugther was born a few days shy of my son's second birthday. It would have probably been on the same day had I not scheduled a c-section. I have just learned that no amount of complaining about being tired is gonna change anything. This woman has got to man up, and I have. One key think is that my husband I have been making sure that we respect each others time. Me time is important for both of us, and family time is important. I've tryed to get in the habit of doing fun things so that the time does not drag along with the same old daily routine. You are telling my story! My daugther was born a few days shy of my son’s second birthday. It would have probably been on the same day had I not scheduled a c-section. I have just learned that no amount of complaining about being tired is gonna change anything. This woman has got to man up, and I have. One key think is that my husband I have been making sure that we respect each others time. Me time is important for both of us, and family time is important. I’ve tryed to get in the habit of doing fun things so that the time does not drag along with the same old daily routine.

]]> By: lynn http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/10/26/9-things-i-wish-i-did-before-i-had-my-second-kid/comment-page-1#comment-19108 lynn Tue, 27 Oct 2009 12:58:08 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=6633#comment-19108 I have two kids, ages 18 and 10. between the two I went to school, had a great nursing job. What I wish I did, was not to settle. I saw my life as perfect; I could have got more eduction, and did not. I ignored my mental health issues. After that 2nd baby came in 99, my life hit rock bottom. I could no longer work. I did try to go back to school, but my mental health will no longer allow me to. I am collecting social security and at age 38 I care about medicare issues. DH goes to work everyday I feel bad, because I could be doing so much more if I were working. The good side, I was able to be home with my children. I have two kids, ages 18 and 10. between the two I went to school, had a great nursing job.

What I wish I did, was not to settle. I saw my life as perfect; I could have got more eduction, and did not. I ignored my mental health issues. After that 2nd baby came in 99, my life hit rock bottom.

I could no longer work. I did try to go back to school, but my mental health will no longer allow me to.

I am collecting social security and at age 38 I care about medicare issues.
DH goes to work everyday I feel bad, because I could be doing so much more if I were working.

The good side, I was able to be home with my children.

]]> By: LA Momma of 2 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/10/26/9-things-i-wish-i-did-before-i-had-my-second-kid/comment-page-1#comment-19078 LA Momma of 2 Tue, 27 Oct 2009 03:42:23 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=6633#comment-19078 @Anna: Thats a very true statement. But everyone's situation is different. After being married 13 yrs and counting, having a middle schooler and one in elementary, a household to take care of, kids extra curricular activities, working full time, running two businesses on the side not to mention spiritual needs, "Me Time" for me, hard to come by even with a schedule. @Anna: Thats a very true statement. But everyone’s situation is different. After being married 13 yrs and counting, having a middle schooler and one in elementary, a household to take care of, kids extra curricular activities, working full time, running two businesses on the side not to mention spiritual needs, “Me Time” for me, hard to come by even with a schedule.

]]> By: Anna http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/10/26/9-things-i-wish-i-did-before-i-had-my-second-kid/comment-page-1#comment-19071 Anna Tue, 27 Oct 2009 01:44:21 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=6633#comment-19071 LA Momma of 2 said: I honestly don’t think you can truly prepare for the unknown. My girls are 21 months apart. And the logistics of the balancing act NEVER crossed my mind. I just jumped in head first and learned as I went. As for the “Me Time”, I’m STILL trying to master that one and they’re 11 and 9 now!! ~~~~~~~~~~~ I don't know if your read the "Bedime" Post but everyone in there, except me had the same answer, although I knew what the answer was and so do you. "Me time" starts by giving the kids a schedule. Even nap time. My kids have two new sisters a new born and a 3 yr old and those kids especially the 3 yr old don't like to go to sleep. If you like your job as much as I do I found my "me time" at work. Not because I didn't like being with my kids, but because you also need adult communication and it's hard to do when you have kids. That reminds me, teaching our kid(s) that when we are on the phone, unless something is burning or water is overflowong don't bother mommy while on the phone. FYI: for any one new to the site. The new siblings are not my kids. My kids were blessed with new siblings that belong to their dad and his better half and my kids love their little siblings. The new siblings just have the same bedtime patterns as their grown adult sibs. Is it a genetic thing and I and the new better half can blame DNA on the kids by the same man not wanting to go to sleep at a certain time on "him". LOL. All the kids are beautiful but they need sleep, LA Momma of 2 said:
I honestly don’t think you can truly prepare for the unknown. My girls are 21 months apart. And the logistics of the balancing act NEVER crossed my mind. I just jumped in head first and learned as I went.
As for the “Me Time”, I’m STILL trying to master that one and they’re 11 and 9 now!!
~~~~~~~~~~~
I don’t know if your read the “Bedime” Post but everyone in there, except me had the same answer, although I knew what the answer was and so do you. “Me time” starts by giving the kids a schedule. Even nap time. My kids have two new sisters a new born and a 3 yr old and those kids especially the 3 yr old don’t like to go to sleep. If you like your job as much as I do I found my “me time” at work. Not because I didn’t like being with my kids, but because you also need adult communication and it’s hard to do when you have kids. That reminds me, teaching our kid(s) that when we are on the phone, unless something is burning or water is overflowong don’t bother mommy while on the phone.
FYI: for any one new to the site. The new siblings are not my kids. My kids were blessed with new siblings that belong to their dad and his better half and my kids love their little siblings. The new siblings just have the same bedtime patterns as their grown adult sibs. Is it a genetic thing and I and the new better half can blame DNA on the kids by the same man not wanting to go to sleep at a certain time on “him”. LOL. All the kids are beautiful but they need sleep,

]]> By: Kimberly http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/10/26/9-things-i-wish-i-did-before-i-had-my-second-kid/comment-page-1#comment-19065 Kimberly Tue, 27 Oct 2009 00:09:17 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=6633#comment-19065 I cant wait to have a second kid!!! Although they will be 9 years apart, I think it will still be great for my daughter to have a sibling. Keep your fingers crossed!:-) I cant wait to have a second kid!!! Although they will be 9 years apart, I think it will still be great for my daughter to have a sibling. Keep your fingers crossed!:-)

]]> By: Deanna Underwood http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/10/26/9-things-i-wish-i-did-before-i-had-my-second-kid/comment-page-1#comment-19063 Deanna Underwood Mon, 26 Oct 2009 23:56:08 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=6633#comment-19063 I like this post. I am currently TTC and I think I might have to refer back to prepare myself and my 2 year old son. Thanks! I like this post. I am currently TTC and I think I might have to refer back to prepare myself and my 2 year old son. Thanks!

]]> By: LA Momma of 2 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2009/10/26/9-things-i-wish-i-did-before-i-had-my-second-kid/comment-page-1#comment-19041 LA Momma of 2 Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:20:48 +0000 http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/?p=6633#comment-19041 I honestly don't think you can truly prepare for the unknown. My girls are 21 months apart. And the logistics of the balancing act NEVER crossed my mind. I just jumped in head first and learned as I went. As for the "Me Time", I'm STILL trying to master that one and they're 11 and 9 now!! ;-) I honestly don’t think you can truly prepare for the unknown. My girls are 21 months apart. And the logistics of the balancing act NEVER crossed my mind. I just jumped in head first and learned as I went.
As for the “Me Time”, I’m STILL trying to master that one and they’re 11 and 9 now!! ;-)

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