No more Baby Daddies!!!! Please.

We talk about “parents” as a bundle of recommendations, actions, parenting styles, skills, and the elusive “involvement” necessary to make a difference in achievement at school. We talk about “fathers in the home” like a missing link or puzzle piece. We lament the escalating violence as more children kill children in our urban communities.

We now talk about “families” in clinical terms — single parent families, two parent famlies, blended families, grandparent headed families, extended families, nuclear families, adoptive families. When two people create a child, the “three of them are a family.” When did parenting get reduced to “baby mommas” and “baby daddies” who are not committed to each other or the responsibility to raise the child they just created. They each go their way like rabbits. They don’t seem to grasp the enormous responsibility to shape another human life.

We spout slogans like “It takes a village to raise a child” as if it is the long lost holy grail. What is frightening is that it appears that many have lost the natural instinct to nurture and care for children. So, we treat them as objects — to be placed in day care centers, head start programs, special needs classes, and on drugs to control their behavior.
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One person can’t raise a child even if two ppl created the child. Some ppl are just not fit to be parents but we don’t have to apply for a license to procreate. I don’t see anything wrong with day care or head start. Kids need to learn to socialize. I see something wrong with the above mentioned when the kid is in day care 12 hrs a day Mon-Fri. I do agree that special needs classes need to intergrate so kids don’t have to feel seperated. Kids on drugs to control their behavior is a joke. some parents don’t take the time to realize that ppl, including kids have allergic reactions to certain foods or smells that trigger something in the brain to make them different. My daughters don’t like the smell of perfume and one does not like the smell of crayons, it triggers something. The crayon non liking chid had a episode waiting in line while I retuned Christmas gifts (for others last yr.) she had to look at things “that sparkled”. She said “mommy I will be at the jewelry case”. I think she may have played me on that one and wanted mommy to buy her a new piece of jewelry. LOL. I do know that my kids do not like the smell of perfume, crayons and play doh. Why do kids/ppl now have a allergic reaction to “nuts”. When I grew up we made mud pies, played in the rain and ate peanut butter sandwiches for lunch. If you tore a house apart in our growing up years you would find “mold, asbestes(sp)lead paint and our immune system managed to survive. LOL. Todays kids are dust free and fancy free and don’t know that their system is to be built up. The H1N1 is to build up our immune system to fight it off. I don’t want that mist/shot. To each parent their own. I still wear my perfume and eat peanuts and I may not have lead paint in my home but my kids just have to “get over it”. Now my grandbaby on the way will get what ever she likes. I will child proof and gut what ever I have to do for my grand daughter. I know I am a mess. LOL.

This is precisely why Lamar and Ronnie embarked upon their “Happily Ever After” journey…to put in the mainstream’s mind that there is still a strong community of families within Black America that are changing this type of negativity one child, one family, one church, one community at a time.

We talk about “parents” as a bundle of recommendations, actions, parenting styles, skills, and the elusive “involvement” necessary to make a difference in achievement at school. We talk about “fathers in the home” like a missing link or puzzle piece. We lament the escalating violence as more children kill children in our urban communities.

We now talk about “families” in clinical terms — single parent families, two parent famlies, blended families, grandparent headed families, extended families, nuclear families, adoptive families. When two people create a child, the “three of them are a family.” When did parenting get reduced to “baby mommas” and “baby daddies” who are not committed to each other or the responsibility to raise the child they just created. They each go their way like rabbits. They don’t seem to grasp the enormous responsibility to shape another human life.

We spout slogans like “It takes a village to raise a child” as if it is the long lost holy grail. What is frightening is that it appears that many have lost the natural instinct to nurture and care for children. So, we treat them as objects — to be placed in day care centers, head start programs, special needs classes, and on drugs to control their behavior.

Our grandparents and proverbial extended families and communities of the past did not need classes, studies, drugs or “experts” with advanced degrees to tell them how to nurture and care for children. Now we say the “children are off the hook” and wonder why.

Wasn’t it natural to provide safety and protection to our children? To help our children to understand community and family values? Isn’t it obvious that they must learn and develop skills to cope with an increasingly complex world? I am frightened that for a segment of our population, we have simply lost our way. Children cannot raise children or become effective parents after they dropuout, stop learning, fail to complete their own education, or develop working skills. So now, their children are the subject of the next “expert of the day” to come along. How can they be “involved” when they can’t read, don’t have books in their homes, don’t attend parent-teacher meetings, and blame everyone else who even tries to correct their children.

Yes, parents affect a child’s education. But it is no more of a silver bullet than any of the other remedies when people are unable to do what comes naturally — love, care for, nurture, and guide children through their developmental years.

For children born into such a world, their future is dim indeed.

She insisted that we should wait to see if there was going to be some issue in his report card that we needed to address before making an appointment. Failing class’s, disruptive behavior or him needing extra help.

There will be NO issue with his report card. I did not START raising my child yesterday. I just want his 1st year in High School to be all it can be and that means making clear that his parents are behind him and involved with him.