If You’re Scared, Say You’re Scared

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by Lamar Tyler | on October 16th, 2009 | 7 comments

by Harriet Hairston

You’ve got to watch the video to understand where I’m coming from. I’m in the same position as Indiana Jones. Only, I’m scared like a little punk, y’all. I can’t even lie. I’m stuck in between what was, looking at what will be, and for some reason, I can’t find the path in between. Oh, don’t get me wrong…I BELIEVE with all that is in me. But for some reason, success and taking the next step evades me. What’s holding me back? What’s preventing me from taking the next step?

Perhaps it’s the fact that I don’t know what the next step is. It’s scary to step into the unknown on what my analytical mind views as NOTHING. I’ve written out my goals and fulfilled all that I could with God’s help. Yet staying here paralyzed with fear is more detrimental than stepping out onto the unknown.

Maybe the comfort zones of familiarity have corrupted me. I LOVE change, but for some reason, the transitions have been really rough for me. I’ve tried to master the transition, but when there is an interdependence between my actions and those I’m connected to, a terrible justification for stagnancy arises in my mind. I want my marriage and children to enjoy stability, so remaining stagnant and stuck seems to be the best recipe…because I’m scared.

I don’t know. I think there may be a little apprehension about me believing that I really am all God says I am. EVERYTHING my hands touch will be met with good success? What about all those times I failed in the past? How can I be more than a conqueror when at every turn, there is yet another obstacle that I have to overcome? I thought that last hurdle was just that…the LAST ONE!

Even in all this apprehension, moving forward has got to be better than staying here. Not only will I die if I stay, but there is a legacy that will perish as well. My sons are looking at me as an example. If I’m going to die, I’d much rather do it reaching for the impossible than reclining on the convenient. Like Indiana Jones, there are others waiting for me to take the step so I can make the pathway more clear to them!

I’m scared. It’s true. But I’m crazy enough to believe that the future is worth dying for. So like a kamikaze warrior, I choose to DIE…

…so the legacy within the forward movement of my feet can live.

God bless!

~ Harriet

Harriet Hairston, a freelance writer, human resources administrator at an HBCU and creator of the motivational blog, “Can She SAY That?!?” has a unique style that brings readers into her life through her transparent demeanor. She lives in Louisiana with her husband and two sons. You can reach her at harriet_hairston@yahoo.com.

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

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Comments (7)

Ronnie Friday - 16 / 10 / 2009 Reply

This was so eloquently stated and very inspiring.
Penny Friday - 16 / 10 / 2009 Reply

Hi Harriet, I know what you mean about being scared-just paralyzed with fear to make a move-even though as you say "I will die if I stay here." While I am not happy that you are scared, but now I know that I am not the only one. I need to remind myself (again and again and again...) that I am not what other people believe me to be, but God knows me to be. I wish you well in conquering your fears! Peace and blessings to you and yours.
Tamara Friday - 16 / 10 / 2009 Reply

We are >HERE< because im at that point where if I stay where and how I am, i will die, but going forward means broaching the great unknown. I HAVE to go out into that cold, dark, unknown, i HAVE to.
Anna Friday - 16 / 10 / 2009 Reply

Is scared the same as being afraid? If ppl are not scared or afraid to me that means they have no feelings, they have no soul or empathy of others or just don't have a appreciaton for not only their life but the lives of others. Now that scares me. I typed the above before viewing the vid. I saw the vid and I am now thinking. There is a difference between being scared/afraid vs fear. We fear the unknown but make ourselves scared/afraid of what we know is the right thing to do and put up walls/obstacles and make excuses. That's my final answer and I am sticking to it Alex for $500. LOL.
Mr.Carrot36 Thursday - 22 / 10 / 2009 Reply

They suffer while it could be avoided. ,
Funyanna Sule' Tuesday - 20 / 04 / 2010 Reply

Harriet this has confirmed a lot for me. For the past few days I had been toiling with this same thing and today not only I but my mother took a leap of faith to do something we've never done before......."STEP OUT".....be on the look out Girlie..not for "Captain -Save-A....i'm kidding but in my kitchen a few minutes ago I said Lord I have nothing fear so i'll embrace the unexpected.
Harriet Tuesday - 20 / 04 / 2010 Reply

Hey, Funyanna! Girl, I wrote these words over six months ago, and transition has come, gone and come again. They reached out to me in a powerful way today, and it's awesome when God has you write a timeless piece that you forget about, then can come back to and say, "WOW...that was for me today!" That's how your music will be. That's the potency in what God has me to write. I'm embracing the unknown, but I know that even though I feel like I'm propelled midair, I'm on the solid Rock of Jesus. With Him, I can't fail!