It’s 8 p.m. Where are your kids?

Parenting

by Lamar Tyler | on October 15th, 2009 | 12 comments

by Tara Pringle Jefferson

If it’s 8 p.m. and you’re at my house, then my kids are IN THE BED.

Absolutely no doubt about it.

I’ve gotten a reputation as somewhat of a bedtime control freak. My friends know my kids go to bed at 8 p.m. and if it’s after 7 they don’t even call or stop by. I get so many texts like, “I was in the neighborhood but it was 7:35 and I knew it was too late to be stopping by…”

My aunt from Texas came to visit me recently. It was the first time I had seen her in about six years. The clock struck 7 p.m. and everyone hopped up. “Okay, well, nice to see you again, I know your kids’ bedtime is coming up so….”

I started to protest. “No, it’s okay. I haven’t seen you all in a while so if you want to stay longer….”

“No, I heard about you,” my aunt said. “The kids go to bed at eight, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So we have to go.” And they left immediately.

I admit I can be a bit dramatic. I’m glancing at the clock every five minutes, and once it hits 7:30 I go into full-blown GET YOUR BUTTS IN THE BED mode.

I start clapping and singing, y’all.

“It’s (clap) bed (clap) time (clap)…I need to see some kids in their beds right now…” I sing as I chase them up the stairs. Sometimes my husband tag teams with me, but usually I just do it by myself because he moves entirely too slow doesn’t quite share the same enthusiasm for a quiet house at exactly 8 p.m.

I love my kids and occasionally they stay up to see the 8 o’clock hour but very rarely. My days are jam-packed and I try to make sure that the time that we’re both awake is when I’m focused on them, playing with them, reading to them, taking care of them. No e-mail, no texting, no Twitter or Facebook. Just one-on-one time with my two favorite little people.

But when bedtime approaches, the COUNTDOWN IS ON. With all my other obligations, I need that time to decompress, take a deep breath and switch into one of my many roles for the rest of the evening.

What about you? Are you super anal about bedtime? Or is it just me?

Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer living in Ohio with her husband and two kids. Visit her blog, theyoungmommylife.com to read her musings on life, love and motherhood.

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

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Comments (12)

DonielleMichele Thursday - 15 / 10 / 2009 Reply

Girl Amen to that one!!! I'm anal about their schedule period! When I had my first son I was a newby and a little more relaxed with a schedule. Then I found out I was having another boy 5 months after the first was born and I hauled into gear....lol! My sons are on schedule for meals, naptime, and bedtime. Everyone knows that when naptime rolls around I WILL NOT answer my phone unless it's Jesus himself! That's my ONLY time with just ME. My boys go to bed at 8:30 and not a minute after will they be up. My husband and I kick it into high gear for the bedtime routine at about 7:45 to ensure they are in bed on time. Once they are in bed, DON'T CALL ME....lol! That's my time to relax, get some designs done, take a shower AND spend time with hubby. I tell people we will get along just fine as long as you RESPECT two things NAPTIME and BEDTIME....lol! (Of course I'm exxagerating the respect requirements....lol)
Tasha Thursday - 15 / 10 / 2009 Reply

I am also very strict about bedtime in my house. The kids know once it hits 7:45 the countdown is on for us. Just like you people know not to come by or call me unless it's an emergency. By 8:30 the kids are fast asleep. I never can understand people who let their kids stay up late or who do not have a strict bedtime routine.
A Shorter Mama Thursday - 15 / 10 / 2009 Reply

I am the same way. I will let them stay up a little later on the weekends but they get up at 6am every morning no matter what the bed time so why bother letting them stay up late. How funny, I sing a little chant for them to get upstairs and go to bed too;)
Aja Thursday - 15 / 10 / 2009 Reply

I have gotten a little more lenient with my daughter (on weekends only) now that she's ten. Now with my one year old, he is in his bed under the blankets by 8:30 sharp every night.The only reason I don't put him to bed earlier than that is because he'll wake up at 5am and I can't have that!
Ronnie Thursday - 15 / 10 / 2009 Reply

Last night I thought about you Tara as I was trying to get my overly excited kids into bed at 9PM (their bedtime is 8:30)
Dedra Thursday - 15 / 10 / 2009 Reply

Thank god there is another mother like me on the planet! My family and friends tease me all the time about making my kids go to bed at 8pm. By 8pm I'm exhausted, so I need a little time for myself. My twins have been going to bed lately at 7:30pm because that extra 30 minutes gives them time to relax and fall asleep. My 13 year old is in the bed at 8:30pm. I am a firm believer in making sure that children get proper rest so they're able to function at school. So for all of the parents that put their children to bed at 8pm, don't be discourage you are among friends.
Kimberly Thursday - 15 / 10 / 2009 Reply

Im not super anal but my daughter goes to bed every night at 9pm. I dont like her up past that because I dont want her to be tired in school. Also I want to spend time with my husband and prepare myself for work the next day. On the weekends I am a little more lenient, maybe 9:30 or 10pm. I dont think there is anything wrong with your bedtime routine.
T. Rogers Thursday - 15 / 10 / 2009 Reply

Tara its not just you. I have a two year old and a one year old. My wife and I do not have the problems others have with getting their kids to go to sleep. It is 8pm on the dot every night. Their biological clocks have already adapted to it. Of course, my two year old does try to fight it every now and then. But he knows that is a losing battle.
Anna Thursday - 15 / 10 / 2009 Reply

If I could turn back time, I would have tried harder to get my last born to go to sleep earlier. She is now 20 and goes to bed at 4am. I go at 2am. I am a insominac. Everyone keep doing what you are doing. It does make for "me time" and hubby time once the kids are in bed, plus it gets them ready for the real world when they have to go to their 9-5. I get to work at 9 but am not fully awake until 10.
MissJay Friday - 16 / 10 / 2009 Reply

My husband and I get the kids in bed by 8. Especially if he has to work the next day. He gets us up at 5:50am sometimes and from there I take them to school/daycare so they are up really early. When I fidt met my husband I never saw his son. He was 6months old and was always sleep at around 7-8. His daughter was 18 months and would be up late with the rest of us. Don't try to put her to sleep she would cry like crazy! To this day his/our son will get cranky or fall asleep around 8pm like clockwork. Lil' mama's getting there but she still tries to hang. She does know when to get up and go to bed though, she's now 4 and lil' man is 3. Naptimes however are another story! LOL. I have to make them lay down and I try to time it so that they get a good nap in before we have to pick my husband up from work. I'm not real anal but they do know. I love how our son will find a place to lay down around 8. He's our clock! LOL
Unique Friday - 23 / 10 / 2009 Reply

Hey, I'm with you on this one. Last year I had a HS Senior, Junior and a middle schooler and their bedtime is STILL 9:00 p.m. Now with my two in HS, because of their school AP classes they were taking, they would stay up later to complete their homework/study. Being a wife of a Navy husband, who was gone out to see 6-months at a stretch, I had to enforce some structure in my kids lives for them and my SANITY. I have always worked full-time outside of the home, and I needed the early bedtime for myself to whine-down from my day. Therefore, I needed that time from 9-11 p.m. for myself. To me, that's not being selfish, but making me a better person for everyone.