Like Hot Melted Honey Butter

Parenting

by Ronnie Tyler | on November 6th, 2009 | 13 comments

butter

by Ronnie Tyler

Lamar and I pretty much have our nightly routine down to a science with the girls. After long days for both of us we all sit down to eat dinner between 7:15 and 8 PM every night. Then we march the girls upstairs for their baths. Our oldest girl takes a shower, while the two youngest take a bath together.

The other night while I was putting lotion on the two younger girls, our oldest daughter said: “Mommy will you please put lotion on me too.” And I said, “No you are old enough to do it yourself.” She said: “I know Mommy, but when you put lotion on me it’s like hot melted honey butter flowing down to my toes.” And I just smiled. So when she put it that way, of course I had to do it. As I was applying lotion to her back, (giving her a mini massage like I do for the younger girls and like I did for her for so many years) she just smiled and looked so content. (I told her that I liked the way she described how it felt when I put lotion on her. I told her that she would be a great writer one day. This made me think of one of my favorite authors, Denene Millner over at MyBrownBaby. She describes her motherhood experiences so eloquently…and she is so funny.)

When she grows up, I hope she remembers feeling like hot melted honey butter when her Mommy gently massaged lotion on her. I hope she remembers all of the special hugs and kisses that I gave her and the songs we sung and the games that we played. I hope she remembers feeling safe and happy and loved.

BMWK Family – please share some of the special things that you do with your kids that are sure to create fond memories for them? What do you remember from your childhood?

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and their latest documentary Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

Maria

Parenthood is such a wonderful experience. I hope my son remembers me singing him to sleep. I’ve noticed now that he will be 2 years old soon that he sings more and more. My husband (who loves music and always wished he could sing) married a woman who can sing and loves to sing in private or in church only! He always says “I hope Chris will be able to sing when he gets older, like you.”

It makes me happy to sing to my husband and have him want to seduce me, and it also makes me happy to sing to my baby/big boy and make him feel happy, warm, cozy and extremely loved. It makes me smile when his daddy puts him in the bed and he says “I want mommy to sing to me” even if I’m sick or extra tired I do it because he wants it and it makes me feel good.
Mrs.CJ

I have 2 toddlers, and they still like to see me act silly. We have parades around the house, and we sing silly songs. Or sometimes I’ll turn up the music and we’ll dance around the living room. It’s not really anything special or sweet, but it’s kind of our “thing” (and my built in work out).

I remember how when I was sick, my mom would hold me like a baby, even when I was big and heavy. And I remember how my dad would make us breakfast on Sundays, and homeade icream with brownies.
Mrs.CJ

typos, typos…I meant to say:

*Homemade

*Icecream
Kisha

I am the mother of a 12 yr old daughter and 4 yr old son. Sometimes I forget that my 12 year old is still technically “a baby” and forget that they sometimes like to be pampered and get the same attention as the younger ones. As a mother, I am glad that you decided to change your mind and rub that lotion on your “baby” girl. Those are the things they WILL remember.
http://www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com Ronnie

@Maria – I want to be you. I want to be the mother that can sing. I think it would be awesome to sing to my kids at night. But I can’t carry a tune and I don’t let that stop me either. I am always singing to my family and they are always telling me how bad it sounds. So in a way, they will remember that mommy couldn’t sing..and they will laugh.

@Kisha – you are so right. And I definitley need to do more of the little sweet things for my teenage son.

@Mrs CJ…we also sing and dance with the kids!! Music is important around here. My husband puts on his favorite tunes while we are all getting dressed in the morning. I am sure the kids will remember that!!
MissJay

They will remember the songs trust me . That very thing was the reason I picked Strawberry Letter 23 for my father/daughter dance when I got married. He used to play Brothers Johnson and Earth, Wind, & Fire records when I did my homework and he would sing along to me. Some of my fondest memories and it still makes me smile and want to be “daddy’s little girl” all over again .
http://www.ajadorseyjackson.com Aja

I read to both of my kids separately every night before they go to bed. My daughter is ten now and only reads books with chapters. We still read every night and just alternate pages. My son is only a year old and seems to love “reading” with me at night. My mother used to do the same thing with me and I always remember it being one of my favorite parts of the day.
http://www.mochadad.com Mocha Dad

We have a thankful box. Throughout the year, we write down things that we are thankful for. On Thanksgiving, we read them all.
http://www.mybrownbaby.blogspot.com MyBrownBaby

My girls and I LOVE music like we do air—it’s an elixir that we simply CAN NOT live without. When they were younger, I used to rock them in the rocker and sing to them. Now, I’m not Stevie Wonder, but my oldest daughter LOVED when I sang “Ribbon in the Sky” to her. And for my little one, I used to sing India.Aire’s “Beautiful Surprise.” I can’t sing worth a nothin’, but that didn’t matter… it was the words that they loved, and the fact that I was singing just for them. To this day, those songs are their favorites, and occasionally, I sing them to them (when there aren’t any adults around to make fun!). Our “thing” though is to cook with the iPod blasting on the portable speaker… we love MJ, Mint Condition, Stevie, Musiq, Jill Scott, India.Aire, Ledisi, Bilal, Kindred the Family Soul, Wynton Marsalis, Santana, Chucho Valdez, Marvin Gaye, Fela… you know, GOOD music. Our list runs deep.

Thank you for the lovely compliment, Ronnie. My best advice to you as a writer and a mom is to indulge your daughter’s passion for words… let her write. Give her notebooks and fancy pens and let her have at it… you might even try writing a story with her… I’ll bet she’d get a kick out of it!
Pingback: Honey: The Natural Remedy | HealthFlick.com
Kimberly

We have what’s called family bed once a week. Where we all sleep together. My daughter loves this because she gets to hug up with mommy and daddy. She never forgets and looks forward to it weekly and so do I.
Anna

This is one of those “don’t ever take anything for granted” topics. My kids are , 20, 22 and 24. I so appreciate all of them. My kids are great in thier own rights but I do remember the slumber parties in mommy and daddys bed while watching tv eating snacks. When they were young our snacks was and still is cereal. Now that they are older their snack is still cereal but they have their snack with “milk” and not in a bed. LOL. Some say that it is not a good thing to sleep with your kids. I slept with my newborn(s) on my chest to hear them breathing. I have a new hubby and now I lay my ear to his chest to hear his heart beating. Yes you can call me Corny with a (K) or even Crazy with a (K), I call me a mom and a wife, who appreciates and will never take anything for granted.
meka

I have a two year old daughter and our thing is doing our toes and also dancing. She loves to dance and sing and she’s such a girly girl already (maybe I had something to do with it!) she will go get the polish and come say “mommy toes”
We also cuddles together in the evenings and read or watch one of her favorite cartoons. I’ll say go get your blanket, she’ll go get it and get on the couch and cuddle up next to me, sometimes I make popcorn because I remember that’s some of the things I used to do with my step mother when I was young…

Like Hot Melted Honey Butter

About the author

Facebook Fan Page

You Saved Me – DVD

Happily Ever After – DVD

Men Ain’t Boys – DVD

BMWK Classic Posts

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

BMWK Partners