The Moment You Knew

Relationships

by Lamar Tyler | on November 19th, 2009 | 11 comments

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by Tara Pringle Jefferson

For most couples, there’s one day, one date, one moment that makes it perfectly clear. After that, you know that you will be together forever.

For some, it’s a grand gesture – whether it’s being touched that they planned a surprise romantic weekend away or they lent a helping hand when you needed it most.

For me, it was a bit embarrassing. My then-boyfriend and I were at my parents’ house, hanging out and spending time together before going back to campus. A little back story: Right before I left to go to college, my parents had both been laid off, so they were just starting to get it together. But occasionally, things fell through the cracks. Like bills.

As we were pulling on our coats to get ready to go, I saw a truck for the electric company outside. I knew what was up, but I was hoping we could at least get to the car before the electrician made it to the back of the house to cut the electricity off. Lo and behold that dude was quick as heck (seriously, he must have been sprinting like Usain Bolt), and the house went dark right as we went to grab the knob for the front door.

My face went bright red, as I was so embarrassed. I brought my boyfriend to meet my family and the lights get cut off!

I stood there quietly for a moment and my boyfriend said softly, “So the lights are out.”

“Yup,” I reply tersely, hoping he’d get the hint that I didn’t want to talk about it.

“Well….” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a checkbook. “Do you know how much it is to get it turned back on? I don’t have much but I could leave a check….”

Now, mind you, this guy is a graduate assistant, driving a 10-year-old car and wearing clothes he’s had since high school. He’s not balling at all. But for him to just make an offer like that, it really convinced me that he was looking out for me and my family. I’ve never forgotten that moment, even though I’m sure my parents would like to!

When do you know you were with the One? How did you know? Share it in the comments below!

Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer living in Ohio with her husband and two children. Visit her blog, www.theyoungmommylife.com, to read more of her observations about life, motherhood and love.

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

http://www.babybumping.blogspot.com Aja

That is a really wonderful story. I don’t know for me that there was one moment that I knew we would be together forever as much as there was just a series of events that led in that direction. The one thing that comes to mind though was when I had a job where I would get off of work late and he worried about me walking to my car at night. He would drive to my office which was about 30 minutes from his house so that he could be there to make sure I got to my car ok. I may not have known that we would be together forever at that moment, but I definitely knew it was more than just a fling!
RichWife

I was dating someone else when I met my now husband. I was having a really bad day and sent a text to my then boyfriend and my now husband saying I was in a bad mood and needed a hug. My husband showed up at my house within 20 minutes with open arms. I knew then that I would be held by those same arms for the rest of my life.
http://gods-man.blogspot.com Carlton

It was our 3rd date. She had invited me over to her apartment for dinner and afterwards we were sitting on the couch watching TV. We talked, we laughed, watched the TV on opposite ends of the couch and before we knew it the clock struck 3 am. We were so comfortable with each other that the time didn’t matter. I remember thinking that I could sit with this woman for the rest of my life. 10 years and two little ones later I know that assessment is true.
http://theyoungmommylife.com Tara

Man, these are beautiful stories. We are so lucky to have people in our lives who care about us like that!
JaclynB

That was a great story Tara! I was actually friends with my husband in high school. He was so quiet and nice. I used to try to engage him in conversations because he was so shy around girls (imagine that…a 6ft 4in basketball player being shy!). He would eat lunch with me and my girlfriends (and eat all our left over food!) I remember telling one of my friends that I hope I marry someone sweet like him. Little did I know that I would actually marry HIM! Just after graduation, I started working at his job and we started dating and now we have been married for almost four years! He is still my best friend!
Jonesi

Awww I LOVED hearing these stories!

Well, my parents have (had) a rocky relationship, and sometimes my father would get out hand. Anyway, one day my then-boyfriend (now husband), said to me when I was stressing one nite, “well your mom has a son now, so your father is going to have to chill out. I’m not about to sit back and let him act like this”. It warmed my heart to know my family’s well-being was just as important to him as my own. And the fact that he had taken that protective role solidified my desire to have him around for the rest of my life
jtb

My husband and I have known one another since we were 9 years old. We graduated from grade school, middle school, and high school together. We have very close mutural friends(who were all in our wedding), but in school, he just didn’t faze me much. He was a nice guy, but a close friend of mine was the one in love with him(she came to our wedding). In 2005, we both attended a meeting for our 10 year high school class reunion. I hadn’t seen him since we graduated in 1995, and when he walked in, I was just blown away!!!!! He’d just gotten home from Bosnia(he’s in the military), literally, and attending the meeting was a way for him to see old friends. We spoke, I told him how great he looked, and then I told a very close friend of mine(she too was in our wedding) “He has a good spirit, that man is going to be my husband”. Due to our mutual friends, he wouldn’t date me for over a year, then after a few dates, and a steady relationship for 10 months, we were engaged and married within a year. I was right, I knew he’d be my husband!(giggling)
http://www.cisterspeak.com CS

For me it was Thanksgiving. When I took him home to Thanksgiving for the first time he just “melted” into my family. It was like he simply belonged there. There were no awkward pauses jokes or comments from my fam. As a matter of fact he was running errands up and down with my uncle and my brother and they were laughing and joking like he had been a part of the family for years.

My family is very overprotective of me due to some poor choices in my dating life. But they ALL just took to him the first time they met him. Also, I’m African and sometimes dating can be a cultural challenge. He’s Jamaican and we both had never realized how similar our foods, habits and familial bonding is! We’re not married yet but we are engaged and the whole family (even the men) are involved in the planning and I love it.

Great post Tara I love these stories, keep em coming!! I’m sitting here on a sunny Saturday morning with my robe on sipping hot cocoa. Just reading these is really blessing my day.
Anna

Great post and enjoyed the comments, I will admit I needed a tissue for some. I think I knew when I finally met my now hubby in person.(his smile lights up a room and his laugh is infectious). We talked on the phone for a few week thru the wee hours of the night(both having to get up early for work). When we finally met I told him that my sis, her kids and my co worker and her kids along with my kids would all be going on our first date together(I wanted witnesses just in case) he had no problem with it. We were late for our own date because I had a semi sick kid who had called her dad(unbeknowest to anyone) to bring her some medicine(A mother without medicine for her kids is beyond me, the kid was slick at calling her dad). My date waited for my kids dad to drop her off some medicine(was my last born trying to sabbatage my date)? We did get to go on our date and drive with my last born and the movie we saw was “The Nutty Professor”. All the other moms with their kids and 2/3 of my kids were already there but it was a good time. BTW, my ex and my blind date knew each other from younger days. The minute my now hubby saw my kids he knew who their father was, the genes are too strong. My kids are blessed with two dads. It’s been over a decade since hubby and I had our first date but it does not stop us from having date night and yes sometimes it still includes the kids, which is called “family date night”.
busybodyk

My hubby and I met when two friends of ours were dating and we both kind of tagged along. All I remember is him telling a joke about getting a nipple ring and a nose ring with a chain attaching them. Silly, I know but his humor attracted me to him. Even though we didn’t start dating until a few years later I always joked with my friend and referred to him as my future husband. Our sense of humor is one of the main things that keep us together.
GTEssence

When my son said, Mommy I don’t have to worry about you anymore, you have somone to take care of you know and he talks to me, not at me.

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