Particularly in the days when people routinely married at younger ages and when, especially for Blacks, educational opportunity and thus earning potential was artificially circumscribed by society, plenty of couples started off “broke.” That was probably the norm. Over the years, however, they worked as a team to build a life together and accumulate whatever they could in the way of property and money. In a healthy marriage, the two of you stand together against all challenges… even financial ones.

Some of the old-fashioned horse sense still applies today. If you and your intended are emotionally stable, educated, responsible and upwardly mobile, I say get your broke butts to the chapel or to justice of the peace. Marriage allows you to pool your resources and unless you are obsessed with keeping up with the Joneses, it will not double your living expenses, thus freeing up income for debt repayment and investment. Why spend years squandering resources in a single state if you really know you want to be together? Sit down, work out a reasonable financial plan and just do it.

I also think that psychologically, marriage provides us with a built-in sense that someone else is counting on us. This is especially true when kids are involved. For some people, this is the incentive they need to make better financial decisions. That sick pair of $500 heels or flashy sports car a single person might see as a justifiable indulgence is not even a consideration when you are accountable to a partner or have a college fund to stock. You have a plan to stick to and a purpose to fulfill so the distractions become easier to shrug off.

Finally, I do tend to agree with what another poster said about the real reasons some couples hold off on marriage waiting for financial stability. I’ve seen many cases where it really was just a convenient excuse for avoiding commitment or a cover for deeper issues. People have to make their own decisions but I do wonder if overall African Americans would benefit if more of us viewed marriage as an asset (emotionally AND financially) rather than a liability. Could marriage be viewed as a facet of a strategy of collective economics and economic growth?

Do I think that folks should wait until they are stable financially before walking down the isle? I think as long as they really understand why they are in the situation they are in and have got a plan to get out then they can. If both of them are not on the same page than that may be an indicator of whether they are really ready to be married at all.