Kelly Ripa Gives You Great Marriage Advice
In what we’re sure will be her first mention here on Black and Married With Kids we wanted to bring you some great advice that Kelly Ripa gave Redbook in a recent interview. This is good stuff.
On dealing with Mommy guilt: “Initially, we would never leave the kids alone with a babysitter. But then Mark would say, ‘We are going out to dinner,’ and I would say, ‘Without the kids?’ And he would say, ‘Yes. Because that’s what grown-ups do.’ It was something he forced me to do, and now I think to myself, The kids will be thrilled. They know the babysitter is going to let them watch TV and eat cookies. So that’s the balance Mark introduced to me. I know there are people who are good at dealing with this stuff, but I think the majority of women feel tremendous guilt.”
On making time for marriage: “A date night for us is watching Top Chef. A date night for us is getting our kids asleep before 9:30! It’s really just about checking in, asking how the other person’s day is, and cuddling up. It doesn’t have to lead to anything, although it usually does. But it doesn’t have to. Sometimes, Mark will wake up in Joaquin’s bed, and I’ll wake up in Lola’s tiny bed feeling like a contortionist and saying, ‘I’m in pain and why is there a dog on my head?’”
On being in it for the long haul: “The first year of marriage is so tough, and we fought constantly, these tiny things becoming big accusations. Then we looked at each other one day and said, ‘We’re in this for the long haul, so let’s make it fun.’ It’s not that it’s not going to be work. You work on your marriage the same way you work at your job. But we have friends who have gotten divorced over tiny things that spiral out of control, and no one was willing to reach out, take the other person’s hand, and say, ‘I’m not going anywhere.’ And sometimes it can be that simple. We argue, but we have an allegiance to each other, and we have beautiful children, and from what I hear, divorce sucks. It’s not something I think I have the fortitude to go through.”
On her best relationship advice: “My girlfriends and I talk about this a lot. The more, let’s say, affection – the more you do it, the more you do it. The more you reach out and hold that person’s hand, the more it’s going to happen. The less you do it, the less you do it. That includes everything from intimacy to hand-holding and kissing. I say reach out and grab your husband’s hand every once in a while. Even if he’s wrong and he makes you sick. Because a little bit of that gets you a little bit of a back rub, which gets a little bit of ‘You look pretty today.’”
You can check out Redbook for the entire article.
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