Marriage Manifesto

by Harriet Hairston

A manifesto is a written statement declaring publicly the intentions, motives, or views of its issuer. A few days ago on my blog, I wrote a manifesto to publicly declare the growth and development I intend to experience within my personality. I always say that every marriage has its own heartbeat. There are principles like commitment, forgiveness, wisdom, respect and love that should lie as the foundation for every one, however, the technique or method used for one may not work for others.

So, BMWK, I’d like to challenge each one of you to write your own manifesto. If you’re single, take the questions below and apply them to your life. If you’re married, sit down with your spouse and have an open discussion about what your intentions, motives and views for your marriage entail. Even older children can join in. Use the below questions as a starting point. You will be surprised at the flow that will take place as you discuss each of them:

Standards (something established by authority, custom, or general consent as a model or example):

• What are the standards for our marriage (or my life)? Where did they come from?
• If those standards are too low, how do we need to raise the bar?
• Categories of standards for marriage (or life): spiritual lifestyle, communication, money management, love, respect, friendships, careers, etc.

Expectations (the state of looking forward to; considering probable or certain; or anticipating the coming occurrence of):

• What do you expect to accomplish as a couple (or as a person) in the next year, five years, 10 years and 20 years?
• What action plan can you put in place to make those expectations come to fruition?

Toleration (to allow to be or to be done without prohibition, hindrance, or contradiction; to put up with)

• As a couple, is there anything or anyone in your lives that you have tolerated and can no longer afford to do so? If so, what/who?
• As an individual, are there any habits or sins (i.e. issues) that you can no longer afford to tolerate?
• How do you plan on releasing yourself from these things and/or people?

Aspirations (the state of seeking to accomplish a particular goal; the state of ascending):

• What concrete goals can you set for your careers/dreams?
• How can we help one another experience growth in our character/wisdom?
• How can we prevent one another from giving up on our dreams?

What more can you add, BMWK? New Year’s resolutions are played out, but manifestos create for us blueprints to the bigger picture and larger scheme for our lives and those connected to us. Let me know how it goes!

God bless!

~ Harriet

Harriet Hairston, a freelance writer, human resources administrator at an HBCU and creator of the motivational blog, “Can She SAY That?!?” has a unique style that brings readers into her life through her transparent demeanor. She lives in Louisiana with her husband and two sons.  You can reach her at harriet_hairston@yahoo.com.

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

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