All Because of You

by Tara Pringle Jefferson

In celebrating the New Year, I took a trip down memory lane and thought about the lessons I’ve learned in the three years since I first became a mom. My kids are my everything and they make me a little wiser each day.

Because of my kids I’ve learned:

1. I can do it. No doubt about it. No matter what “it” is, I can do it.  I was plagued with so much doubt while pregnant with my daughter that I didn’t even enjoy feeling her kick because every day the kicks would get stronger and it would be a constant reminder that I still didn’t have my life together and she was ON.THE.WAY. I look at how far I’ve come in the three years since she’s been born and I marvel at my accomplishments. Three years ago, I brought my daughter home from the hospital to a college DORM. Not family and parent housing, but a DORM. With freshman. With no job.  Now I have my own house and a great job with a great salary. I don’t know how far I would have come without my children there to motivate me.

2. I don’t get to eat when I want to. Before I had kids, I would wake up thinking about dinner. What I was going to eat, how I was going to cook it, what plate I would put it on. I was SERIOUS about my food. Now I can rarely eat dinner without getting heartburn because dinner is so short during the mad period of time between coming home from work and the kids going to bed. But I’ve learned to adjust, because in this simple little realization, the lesson is that it isn’t all about me. In reality, it never has been, but now I know! LOL.

3. Most frustration and stress occurs because of something you can’t control. I’ve learned to focus on the things that I can do something about. My stress levels have plummeted since realizing this.

4. Giving more love is usually the best answer. At times there is nothing more challenging than loving a 3-year-old. They’re bossy, they talk back, they have OPINIONS up the wazoo. Sometimes I have to stop and ask myself What am I doing wrong How can I help this child? Usually the answer is found within a hug and a request from Mommy to stop the madness, that we’re a family and we work together. Surprisingly, it works at diffusing 95% of the tantrums and near-tantrums.

5. Sometimes crying is okay. For you, not the kids I mean. Sometimes I’ve held things in for a little too long and they come rushing out in the form of a funk that lasts a day or so. Sometimes the best thing to do is to let it flow and take your time coming out of it.

6. Take lots of pictures and video. Man, things happen so fast that if you don’t find some way to record it you will forget all those precious moments that you want to cling to when you are old and gray, and you want your kids to remember after you’re gone.

7. There’s only one life. So make the most of it.

What about you? What have you learned since becoming a parent?

Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer living in Ohio with her husband and two children. Visit her blog, www.theyoungmommylife.com, to read more of her observations about life, motherhood and love.

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

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