Are You a Bragger?
by Aja Dorsey Jackson
Once upon a time, back in the early eighties, I told one of my friends that I was “richer” than her and I could tell by my house and my toys. I was only around four or five at the time, but I remember being promptly reprimanded and told that I was bragging and that I shouldn’t do it anymore.
At some point between then and now, probably around the time the term “hater” became popular, the word bragging went out of style, but I never forgot about that day. While I often feel so happy about my life that I want to shout it from the rooftops, I realize that there is a fine line between sharing your good news and bragging, and I try not to cross it. If you are in a happy marriage or relationship, finding that line can be kind of tricky. I’ve put together five Ws that will let you know if you have crossed over into bragging territory.
Who:Who are you sharing all of your happy thoughts with? For instance, if you are talking constantly about how great your husband is with someone going through a painful divorce, you may be engaging in some braggy behavior.
What: Are you saying that you feel blessed to have a wonderful family or are you saying “I’m so glad my husband bought me this tennis bracelet to add to my collection of twenty“. If it’s the latter, you’re probably bordering on bragging.
When: Even happily married people don’t necessarily need to hear about every single good thing your husband or wife does every day. After a while you begin to sound less like a spouse and more like the mother of a two year old “Hubby took out the trash! Hubby made a piece of toast! Hubby made up the bed when he got out of it!” It’s good to praise your partner, but it doesn’t hurt to sometimes let those interactions take place between the two of you.
Where:I don’t have much to say about this one except for the fact that if it’s on facebook it probably qualifies.
Why: This is the “W” that trumps all others. Are you genuinely excited and just want to share your happiness with the world? Or are you just trying to measure your own success against someone else’s? Are you playing a “my life is better than yours” game? Is your intention to inspire happiness, or is there a part of you that intends to inspire envy? Your intentions are the main determining factor in whether your words are a boast or a testimonial.
Do you think there is a line between bragging and just sharing your happiness?
Aja Dorsey Jackson is a freelance writer and marketing consultant in Baltimore, Maryland. She can be reached at aja@ajadorseyjackson.com.
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