Can’t Buy Me Love

Lifestyle

by Lamar Tyler | on February 12th, 2010 | 2 comments

moneyknot

by Harriet Hairston

With Valentine’s Day rapidly approaching, I wanted to take the time to get on a soapbox.

*Mic check…one two, one two*

I’m talking to the men and women already in the doghouse, and expect a V-Day gift will get them out (Kobe Bryant and the 40 karat pink diamond ring, anybody?). Money can’t buy love! It means nothing if the sentiment behind the gift a person is offering is not saturated in genuine love. Flowers die, jewels tarnish, clothes wear out, lingerie doesn’t stay on long enough to make a difference. Instead of breaking the bank this Valentine’s Day, break the mindset that spending all kinds of money to impress your significant other will earn you brownie points against all the character flaws and emotional withdrawals you’ve made on him or her. If you spend a lot of money and the level of love is even greater than the money you spent, this does not apply to you. Thankyouverymuch.

*Dropping mic and walking away*

Seriously, BMWK, I want to challenge you in an old school, Cosby Show type of way. Find the most romantic gift for your spouse/significant other for $25 or less (including taxes, shipping and handling, whatever) and I’m not talking about photo mugs. Then present that item to your loved one and explain to them the sentiment behind the gift.

If you choose to accept the challenge, let me know how it goes! In the meantime, between now and the big commercialized day, take some time to make some deposits into the emotional and sentimental bank accounts of your significant others.

God bless!

~ Harriet

Harriet Hairston is a woman who slips and slides in and out of labels (military officer, human resource manager, minister, mentor, spoken word artist and teacher). The only ones that have stuck so far are “wife” and “mother” (the most important in her estimation). The rest have taught her well that only what she does for Christ will last. She joyously writes for the site Black and Married with Kids and her own blog entitled “Can She SAY That?!?” There is one more permanent label she holds: “author.” Her first book, “Who Are You?” discusses how to introduce yourself to your identity in Jesus Christ. It will be available through Amazon.com in early March 2010.

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

http://bloggingeverafter.wordpress.com {JeLisa} @ Blogging Ever After

I think the significance lies in speaking to your spouse’s love languages {the ways in which he/she understands/feels love}.

If your spouse’s main love language happens to be gift-giving, then doing that on Valentine’s or dog house days is not only sweet, but smart. {Unless, of course, there’s no love or thought behind the gift – i.e. flowers when she’s allergic, or red lingerie when he prefers the color blue and you to be naked.}

My love languages happen to be quality time and acts of service, so that is my husband’s way of showing love to me on Valentine’s Day or on a day when he’s gotten himself into the dog house, and his making a date with me and cleaning the kitchen is worth way more than jewelry or flowers would be.
.-= {JeLisa} @ Blogging Ever After´s last blog ..“I love Mommy but I love me, too, Miss JeLisa. I can do that.” =-.
Anna

JeLisa, cleaning the kitchen is worthy(and I am doing the dishes now and plan on making hubby breakfast in the morning).. For us Valentines Day is for me to get a gift and on Sweetest Day I give him a gift. I don’t like flowers because, yes they die. I do like jewelry but get it for Mothers Day or my bday. On Valentines Day we always do something that involves food(outside of the home) beit with the church married people or on our own. Hubby came home yesterday with a department store bag and when he left to go to the gym this morning I looked high and low to find my gift. He hid it well, I can’t find it. I even looked under the bed, there was not even a missing sock under there. LOL. Yes man made Holidays are very commercialized and can put stress on us. I always want to turn into a JW at Christmas time. No offense to the JW’s. I will check back in and let you know if hubby took the $25 challenge.(that he did not know about). Harriet when we go out to eat we can’t meet the $25 challenge, unless we get the kids meal. (insert smile). As I mentioned hubby buys for me for V Day but I did get a card for him and I bought a electric heater for under my desk at work , I went to work today and realized the heater was not going to work out for me. Hubby saw the box by the front door and claimed it for his computer room, so I guess I did buy him something. A heater may not be romantic, but when his fingers are no longer cold in his computer room, he will always think of me. LOL.

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