Screw It, I’m Listening To The Duggars

Parenting

by Lamar Tyler | on February 22nd, 2010 | 14 comments

duggars
by Tara Pringle Jefferson

They just don’t seem HUMAN. If I had 19 kids (or 20…how many do they have now? I’ve lost track), I don’t know how I’d act, but I don’t think I’d be a thing like Jim Bob or Michelle. You see how much they SMILE even though they have the stress of three families?

Since I don’t think either one of them are on any type of happy pills (I could be wrong), they must have figured out some way to approach life challenges and conquer them without losing their sanity or sense of self.

So I did a little digging on the Duggars and landed on their website. I scrolled through it. “Hmmm…updates on the show…oh, they have a book out…look, there’s some recipes….” Then I found this, their list of household guidelines.

To have 19 kids and keep your house running smoothly, you’ve got to have rules, though these “guidelines” seem less like rules, but more like how a family is SUPPOSED to act:

“Never argue, complain, or blame. Quickly admit when you have done wrong and ask for forgiveness (even if you were only 10% at fault). Don’t wait till you’re caught.”

“Be attentive and look for ways to serve others with sincere motives and no thought of self-gain.”

How can you find fault with that? So I’ve decided to take the Duggars lead and come up with a list of household guidelines for my crew. Here’s a few:

“Wake up each day with the mindset that you are going to be happy and helpful. Maintain that mindset through the whole day.”

“Take a few minutes each day to ask yourself, ‘Are you being the best person you can be?’”

“Be grateful for even the smallest gestures.”

What say you? What are some household guidelines you’d like to create for your family?

Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer living in Ohio with her husband and two children. Visit her blog, www.theyoungmommylife.com, to read more of her observations about life, motherhood and love.

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

http://stellarsassysocial.blogspot.com {Ms. P}

Rules to live by.
.-= {Ms. P}´s last blog ..Bottoms Up: Olympic Ring Cocktails =-.
http://www.mochadad.com Mocha Dad

We have a household rule to always show thanks and appreciation. We have a Thankful Box that we use to write short notes of appreciation to each other.
.-= Mocha Dad´s last blog ..Old School Hip Hop Meets New School Toddler =-.
http://www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com Ronnie

Nice Post Tara and I do believe that the Duggars have a lot of good qualities and that we can learn from them.

@Mocha Dad – I like the thankful box idea…we need to implement that at our home.
http://www.brownandbridal.com busybodyk

I don’t have any children yet but I love this idea! People may frown upon the Duggars for having a lot of children but they must be doing something right. Those children always look happy and well-behaved. And they act like children.
Jonesi

No kiddies yet, but I LOVE the appreciation box idea. When I lived with my mother, she and my three sisters had dry erase boards on all the bedroom doors and in the living room. We made it a point to write nice notes to each other almost daily and every nite before we went to bed. It’s always a pleasant surprise to see something special written for you.
http://Funkidivagirl.com Funkidivagirl

I like The Duggers too. Heck, I admire anybody that can handle that many kids with grace and patience!
.-= Funkidivagirl´s last blog ..Disney World’s Social Media Moms Celebration 2010 =-.
Judas

Glad you gotten on board with the Duggars. They are well mannered children. You have to have rules and regulations in every household. When children are not disciplined and given boundries in the home, then either the courts will do it for you.
Shamma

I have never seen the show, but I saw when they had the 1hr special on them on TLC and I liked them then. I am trying to instill these in my little one.

Be thankful for everything no matter how small

Look for a blessing in each day

Always know you can tell mama anything

Love is a verb
Shamma

How could I forget, there is never a reason to lie to mama
Tamara

And thas why im cool with the Duggars, because they are ticking folks off left and right just off how incredibly happy they are! LOL! But yea, i love their house rules and I hope to do something similar with my own future brood.
http://designsdelight.com design

with somany kids you need imagination to give them all attention and to stop them fighting each other, giving them guidelines or even slogans is not a bad way to start.
.-= design´s last blog ..Modular house on the river: barcelona modular houses =-.
http://buildethherhousewithlove.blogspot.com Buildeth Her House

I have our families guidelines posted on the walls to remind my children to always put our family first with their actions!
TJ

I would NEVER have that many kids but I have no beef with the Duggars. They support the kids they’ve had financially and they are not doing it on the public dime or sticking their hands out every five minutes. They obviously take the time to care for their family and to raise them right. That is far more important than some arbitrary idea of how many children it is proper to have.
http://advancedyogadvd.info Advanced Pilates DVD

Excellent study, I just passed this onto a colleague who was doing a little research on that. And he actually purchased me lunch simply because I found it for him smile So let me rephrase that: Thanks for lunch!