Dreams:Handle With Care

The last article I wrote was about being a supportive spouse.  I have to be honest:  it wasn’t always like that in the house of Hairston.  That information came through trial and LOTS of error.

In fact, there was a time when my husband didn’t even trust me with his dreams and vision.  He is a strong, stately, respectable man, and he’s not in the practice of mincing words very often.  He is also very guarded and protective when it comes to his family.  He always says that as soon as he leaves the doors of our home, he has his armor on.

There was a time in our marriage where he had that armor on 24/7, though.  He didn’t want to take it off when he got home because he was afraid I would take advantage of his vulnerable state.  Personally, I didn’t know he had one at the time, so he had to give me a few lessons on how to handle the dreams he wanted to tell me about:

1. I had to learn the psyche of my husband yearned for my affirmation, not my opinion when it came to his dreams.
2. Initially, no questions about the who, what, when, where and how…only the WHY.  He wanted to know that I was interested in the PURPOSE he wanted to fulfill.
3. When discussing his dreams, I had to learn that MY VOICE was the strongest one.  It could potentially damage or destroy my husband’s dreams if I handled them with contempt.  On the other hand, I could catapult him to attempt the impossible if I encouraged him in his dreams.
4. I had to learn that no dreams, no matter how far fetched, have expiration dates.

I will readily admit that I learned all of the above the hard way.  Hopefully you won’t have to.  Continue to propel your spouse to greatness!  When your spouse wins, you both win!

God bless!

~ Harriet

Harriet Hairston  (harriet_hairston@yahoo.com) is a woman who slips in and out of labels (i.e. Air Force officer, teacher, mentor).  The only ones that have stuck so far–and the most important in her estimation–are “wife” and “mother.” The rest have taught her well that only what she does for Christ will last.  She joyously contributes to the largest independent black marriage and parenting site on the web called Black and Married with Kids.  Her first book, “Who Are  You?” discusses how to introduce yourself to your identity in Jesus Christ. It will be available through Amazon.com in early March 2010.

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

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