Roll Call Keeps Rolling – Close To 1000 Comments on Essence.com

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by Lamar Tyler | on February 9th, 2010 | 14 comments

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A few days ago we posted a link to our Essence blog and mentioned that live we’ve done here so many times that we had a roll call going on. The roll call is when we ask happily married couples to leave a comment telling us how long you’ve been married etc… as a way of directly rebuking stereotypes surrounding marriage in our community and the people that will tell you that there are no “happily” married couples in the black community. Well the next time you hear that send them this link:

http://blogs.essence.com/black_and_married_with_kids/2010/02/married-folks-roll-call.html

We’re roughly 70 comments away from 1000. If you haven’t dropped a note on there yet please do so now. Breaking 1000 comments on any type of post is a big deal but to do it with readers saying that they love their spouses and children is clearly something special.

Here are a few of the last comments:

Thank you Essence for giving us happily married couples a venue to show that love is alive after years of marriage. I have known my husband Vic since I was 4 years old. We grew up together, literally, because our dads worked for the same company. We begin dating as pre-teens and after nine years, we married and began our family. I am happy to say that we celebrated 25 years of marriage in July 2009. We are the proud parents of two college graduates, now 24 and 22. We are still best friends and look forward to many more years together.

My husband and I have been happily married 32 years come next Sunday and I have to tell you that I love him as much today as I did all those years ago. We have three beautiful daughters 32, 30, and 10…three wonderful grandsons and a beautiful granddaughter. It hasn’t always been easy because every relationship has it’s struggles but once you weather the storm that just brings you so much closer together. I thank God that I have him to go through those storms with. If I had to do it all over again I would in a heart beat. He still makes my heart skip a beat just thinking about him. Marraige is a beautiful gift from God, so when you find your true soul mate hold on!!!
God bless all couples that are thinking about getting married. Marraige does not have to end in divorce, because what God puts together, let no man put asunder.

My husband Eddie and I have been married for 31 years. We do not have any children, but our other blessings and accomplishments together have made us a VERY HAPPY COUPLE and we are excited for many more happy years together.
The Love Birds!

My husband and I have been married for 16 years, 17 this April. We are still in love! We have 4 children, 34, 20, 14, and 11 and 2 grandsons. Marriage is composed of comprimising, faith, and committment. Always put God before those three and things should work out!

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

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Comments (14)

Whyte23 Tuesday - 09 / 02 / 2010 Reply

A marriage is a collaboration of to hearts that join together to overcome the obstacles of life & create an atmosphere of shared pleasure & deeper love...... My "Queen Gloria"....25 years ago I saw this lady sitting over in a corner minding her own business in a rehearsal gospel singing group name "Essence of Christ Singers". I asked another member of the group who was that over in the corner What is her name? The next words out of my mouth was that is my future wife. There was a six years different in age, which was a concern for her and her family for that matter. Of course, a younger man older lady she thought I was a young guy playing games I can understand that thinking look back at it now telling someone you just met that they were your wife. As confident and talented that I was...I'm afraid to share that I chased her around for three years showing her that I was and still on point to win her love for me just,like the first time I laid eyes on her(corny but true). Ok, you want to know what I said to her to win the Gift of a Life-Time....." I just want to be your friend" Yes, sir Friends before anything else. I learned her favorite color, hopes & dreams, goals, perfume, movie actors, books and the author names, candy bar, music artists, she is a big die-hard NFL Oakland Raiders Fans still until this day, her styles of likes an dislikes etc.....you name it I learned it. See ladies and gentleman I learned that word "Intimacy" for some women not speaking on behalf of all women (of course) Emotional Intimacy is a need of IN-TO-ME-YOU-SEE. Women want a man that is into the complete package of who they are. I kept it simple and short to the main focus point "HER"....yes, it took some work but guess what? I got her on August 29, 1987 we got married as husband & wife. Thank you for reading.... Peace and Love .-= Whyte23´s last blog ..Be an Encourager...Speak Life! =-.
Whyte23 Tuesday - 09 / 02 / 2010 Reply

I am blessed to be #943.....via your Roll Call Keeps Rolling – Close To 1000 Comments on Essence.com. Glad to be apart of this land -mark of 1000+..... God is blessing the BMWK family.....I love IT! .-= Whyte23´s last blog ..Be an Encourager...Speak Life! =-.
The Brooks' Tuesday - 09 / 02 / 2010 Reply

I have been happily married for 5 years and have 1 child. It’s true that marriage is what you make of it. My husband and I choose to make ours a loving union by honoring God, honoring each other and keeping our daily devotion to each other full of laughter and fun! I love my husband to the core and enjoy traveling through life with him right by my side. Even through the challenges we know when it’s all said and done, there will be a triumph, testimony and victory! Black love and marriage is not a myth. It’s simply just not for those that grow faint, those that are not dedicated to service or those whose hearts have been hardened and not open to repair. This world has some people convinced that marriage is a death sentence. To that I say be not deceived and You Betta Ask Somebody! Marriage to the right person brings life and enrichment in all avenues concerning you. But like everything in life you have to make a choice. Love bears all things…hope all things…believes all things…endures all things My Love Never Fails
Micaela McCutcheon Tuesday - 09 / 02 / 2010 Reply

My husband and I have been married for a little over two years with four children. We are actuively seeking our "HEA" and are firm believers that black marriages can be successful as long as both parties are willing to work on the relationship and put God first in their lives. I am so proud to see a site for and about sustaining black marriages.
Cee Cee Tuesday - 09 / 02 / 2010 Reply

My husband and I got married 4 years ago (well, actually our anniversary is Feb 17th), and I'm so happy we found each other. I feel like God has really blessed our marriage. On our next anniversary we will be having our vow renewal because we had a small wedding w/ 20 witnesses and never got to say our vows in front of most of our family and friends. Every year is a big year for us because we realize that with so many people divorcing that what we have is precious and we want to continue to set a good example for our children and other young married couples. I was the 1000th comment
Lamar Tuesday - 09 / 02 / 2010 Reply

Thanks Cee Cee for being the 1000th person to comment on the Essence blog then for taking the time to find us here. I want to send you our DVD for free for being the 1000th person. You and your husband can have a date night and check it out lol. I'll shoot you an email with details. .-= Lamar´s last blog ..Roll Call Keeps Rolling – Close To 1000 Comments on Essence.com =-.
Mrs. Fhabian Garrett Tuesday - 09 / 02 / 2010 Reply

My husband & I been married for 4yrs. It will be 5yrs on March 28th of this Yr. We have known each other all our lives, we grew up in the same city & state Covington, KY. We completed high School together & even walked down the aisle right behind one another during senior graduation. But never knew he would be love of my life. The blessing GOD had in storage for me. After 21 yrs. of me traveling across the United States looking for love God brought me right back to my Home town, Covington, Ky to reunited me with the love of my life. I was out looking for my son 16 at the time & ran into my Husband now, But just a person I knew from school then & havn't seen since we graduated in 1989. We talked about old time & I found out he had something that I couldn't have because of medical reason which was a child, his son. The only child he bared. It was a shocker to me to see a man with a child struggling to survive with raiseing his son with no help cause both parent's are deceased.I have children but they are grown & going their separate ways + I was about to be a gr mother also. So i prayed to the lord to guide me right & he did. also remembering my gr. mother saying "a marrige is not perfect just remember where your weak he is strong & where he is weak you are strong ." So in 2005 I started asking him to marry me, it took 3months for an answer but the wait was priceless. & on March 28 2005 we became one & also celebrated his son 4th birthday. So as of today we are happily married 4 children ages ( 3Boys 22,18,10- 1 Girl- 20) & 3 grand children 3,2,2(1boy &2girls).
Memom Tuesday - 09 / 02 / 2010 Reply

Thank you, thank you, thank you sovery much for this opportunity to share about Black Love! My husband and I have been married going on 38 years this year, we have two real men sons, (ages 37 & 33) and five lovely grandchildren. We are truly a blessed family, and my husband and I are more in love now than when we met. We are both Christians ( he's a minister) and that makes all the difference, because we put God first and everything else just falls into place. We truly respect each other and don't hinder one anothers dreams and ambitions as long as it does no harm to each other or the marriage. We have come through the storm and have grown stronger because of it. I would encourage any young couple out there to never be afraid of love or committment, and to always keep love alive by SHOWING how much you care. Even with grandchildren we are still young at heart and having much fun in our relationship. Yes black love is alive and well in the "hood".
Deborah & Chris Wednesday - 10 / 02 / 2010 Reply

My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years ( our 5th yr anniversary will be March 18th). Our story is similar to another story posted above. We grew up in the same town and went to the same school. We knew of each other back then, but we never communicated. I graduated high school and went to college, he graduated high school and went to the navy. In 1999, he returned to our hometown for a visit from California, where he lived. I worked at the office with his cousin. He came to the office to visit her and we began a conversation about high school and about our current lives. The conversation flowed so easily. We discussed our past relationships; the good, the bad and the ugly. We connected on so many levels; spiritually, emotionally, intellectually. It was like no other relationship that we had ever been involved in. Long story short, we started a long distance relationship for a couple of years and eventually he moved so we could be together. We have 4 beautiful kids and a wonderful life. I am so grateful that God brought us together. Our marriage is truly built on faith, strength, love, communication and respect. And I plan for us to be together forever. I am also happy to report that we see many beautiful black marriages in our community. Even though we are not well represented in the different media outlets, beautiful black marriages do exist.
Regina Wednesday - 10 / 02 / 2010 Reply

I was very interested when I saw this website, I think it's wonderful. My husband and I have been married for 10 years, we have a blended family with plenty of disadvantages, He has a daughter from a relationship, when he was very young, that we pay child support for and can't see. I had two daughter from a marriage before, one daughter is autistic, and we have two children together, we know that divorce is not a option and yes we have had some difficult times, The one factor that comes back into play is having individual relationship with God...We are into church, but we really like this family thing and we do it well, yes, beautiful marriage & families do exist, even with disadvantages.
Latoya Wednesday - 10 / 02 / 2010 Reply

Hi, My name is Latoya and I love to talk about black love, it's a beautiful thing. Me and my husband has been together for 8 years but married for 6 years. I met my him 5 years before we actually got together. I always say it wasn't meant to be at that time but when we finally got together it was perfect. I knew he was meant to be my husband the first night we talked on the phone til 7 in the morning. It was like GOD spoke to me, as if HE was in the room with me telling me this is my husband. Neither one of us wanted to get off the phone but we both had to work that morning. I would have to say this is the first mature relationship I have ever had. We respect each other, listen to each other, and except each others flaws. I never believed in soul mates. Now I do.
BusyBee Thursday - 11 / 02 / 2010 Reply

Greetings! I posted my comments too! I must disclose that I don't care for many African American magazines with the exception of Black Enterprise but I care deeply about the cultural consciousness of other African Americans and beyond tired of external and internal attacks upon African American families. It's dangerous when young people believe a human agency isn't for them because of their ancestry and its equally dangerous when you endless gender wars designed to destroy and discredit family units already in place. Again, I hope you continue this campaign and hopefully it changes the consciousness of our people. Blessings
DHenry Friday - 12 / 02 / 2010 Reply

I have been married for 10 years and I have 2 wonderful kids. We are a part of the happily married crowd and we are raising our children to be responsible citizens who fear God. We also try to make sure we set a good example for single friends and young adults in our lives. This is a myth because there aren't any good examples of normal Black families on television or often enough in the movies. Thank goodness for Tyler Perry. Thanks for the post and I am grateful for Essence for publishing this blog.
Paula McCartney Tuesday - 16 / 02 / 2010 Reply

My husband, Presley, and I just celebrated six year of loving. There has never been any doubt or regret that when we met we'd be married to each other. I asked him if he ever thought he'd get married and the answer was YES. It's amazing to watch our love grow over the years. I look forward to more years of loving.