Black and Married With Kids.com – A Positive Image of Marriage and Family

What’s That One Thing Your Spouse Did?

Relationships

by  |  on February 23rd, 2010  |  36 comments

84437355

by Aja Dorsey Jackson

A few years ago, Amerie had a popular song called “One Thing”. In this song, she sings about one thing that her man does that has her pretty much strung out on him. Amerie never quite reveals what that “one thing” is for her, but today I want to reveal what that one thing is that my husband does that gets me every time.

He cooks.

It may not seem like a big deal to anyone else, but as someone who loves to eat and hates to cook, having a husband who treats the culinary arts like a part time job provides much satisfaction for my fat girl tendencies. On one of our first dates, he cooked spicy shrimp spaghetti and I’ve been hooked on him and his food ever since. On any given Sunday he might fix omelets for breakfast, create some type of Mexican concoction for lunch, and fire up the grill for a rib or steak dinner. Although he always laughs at my extreme delight when hearing about the day’s menu (yes, I clap like one of the the Klumps just about every time)  he doesn’t do it solely for my enjoyment. He enjoys cooking and I enjoy eating, so together we are a perfect pair.

It’s not that I can’t cook or that I don‘t cook.  It’s just that I like to stick to the basics.  My daughter jokes that if it isn’t chicken, pizza, or spaghetti, she knows that he cooked it instead of me. For me, cooking is a chore, where he takes pleasure in his cooking adventures. He is willing to take risks in the kitchen when I like to stick to the tried and true.

This one thing does have its drawbacks. I still have about five pounds left to lose of the twenty that I had put on since we met. I know now, though, that as long as I stay consistent with fruits and vegetables and my exercise routine he can keep cooking his way right into my heart. I joke with him that his cooking is my number two reason for marrying him.

The number one reason? Like Amerie, that’s just one thing that I’m not telling J

What’s that “one thing” that your spouse did that got you hooked? Keep it clean!

Aja Dorsey Jackson is a freelance writer and marketing consultant in Baltimore, Maryland. Visit her at  The Write Resource at http://ajadorseyjackson.com/BLOG.html


About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.



Related Posts with Thumbnails

 
Add a comment

Comments (36)

  1. Tiara Tuesday - 23 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    I love this! I would say my husband's "one thing" was his amazing massages. I have never had to ask. We met in law school so we were both equally stressed out. When we started dating, we would be sitting around talking after a long day and he would just whip my socks off my feet and start rubbing. I don't have cute feet by any stretch of the imagination - lol - but he would rub away. He has always made me feel like every part of me is beautiful... even at my worst. .-= Tiara´s last blog ..Waiting on The World to Change =-.
  2. busybodyk Tuesday - 23 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    He opened doors for me. My husband is chivalrous. When we dated he wouldn't let me touch a door. This melted my heart. It wasn't something I was used to and it made me feel like a lady. It still does :) Recently we were in a restaurant lobby standing by the door waiting for our table to be called and when he saw two women walking toward the door he held it open for them. One of the women looked at me and said "You are lucky, they don't make many like him." I smiled and totally agreed with her.
  3. Tamika Tuesday - 23 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    He never disappointed me...When we were dating I kept waiting for him to "slip up", like other guys. But it never happened. He kept being the man I wanted him to be, over and over in every situation. He still is! Even when I have a "new request", he tries his hardest to make it a habit. I'm still amazed somtimes at our courtship and I see how much of a blessing he is!
  4. Suzette Tuesday - 23 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    The one thing for me was when we were dating what made him stand out from anyone else I had dated was. He opened the door for me, and he's always been very considerate. He always makes sure I'm okay. No matter what it is, he always gives of himself selflessly and i'm honored by that.
  5. Aja Tuesday - 23 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    I love hearing these. I think as a common thread for women it seems we like to feel taken care of. I would love to hear what some men have to say!
  6. Mrs. Dickey Tuesday - 23 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    Your husband's spicey shrimp is d@mn good! I see why you liked it :-) My husband is a cook as well... and much like you, I can cook, and cook well.. but I don't like to. And he does, and it's yummy! I think I gained abot 30 pounds messing with him! LOL. 10 down, 20 more to go!
  7. Shayla Tuesday - 23 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    Love the article!!! The one thing for me is my husbands thoughtfulness. For those that know me, I am a people person who loves to talk and so does my husband (which also makes us such a perfect pair), but he is also a listener. Even when I think he is not listening he is. When we first got together, I mentioned that I had never gotten roses and though he didnt run right out and buy them, but instead he ordered them to be delivered for valentine's and they were in a champagne bucket and when I got home he had a a bottle of champagne to go in the bucket. Although it didnt totally go over as he planned, it was his thoughtfulness that made me love him even more than I already did. After being together for almost 4 years and married for 1, he continues to listen to just the little things and that means so much!! (on a sidenote, I mentioned a wanted I a popcorn maker and guess what I got.. A POPCORN MAKER!!!)
  8. Beth J. Tuesday - 23 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    Ms. Jackson, that is the very same thing my Husband does for me, cooks. I Love him for that, although our children are grown and just leaving the nest, the dinners are becoming more romantic. He can feed me any day, and I like to eat as well. Thats why we are starting to watch it a little more, because we both can shed a few pounds, LOL! I would rather do the dishes, than cook, so it works out well for us. thanks you for sharing your story.
  9. Shayla Tuesday - 23 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    Where did ya'll find these men that can cook!!!! LOL!! Dont know that I would trade in the thoughtfulness for a cook, but shoot, couldn't I have both? I am the cooker (only like it on occasion since I am so tired from my long commute) and he cooks and feels like it is a chore!!
  10. Sherry Tuesday - 23 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    LOL! We have the same "One Thing"!!! My husband cooks more than I do and is a better cook too. I love when he cooks! Nothing more sexier than my man in the Kitchen doing his thang! Great Post! :)
  11. Beth J. Tuesday - 23 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    @Shayla - I found mine in the country girl!!! LOL!!!
  12. Terrific Tuesday - 23 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    He's not my husband, but my BF for over a year can THROW down in the kitchen, made Ceasar dressing from scratch. Made me shrimp and grits after we had it at a restaurant. Amazing in the kitchen!!!! That's that "One Thing" and his "Touch" which is so magical it makes me melt. I love that man!!!
  13. E.V. Tuesday - 23 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    Can I even think of one thing that makes me strung out. He's thoughtful, he actually listens AND he can cook. I would have to say that the one thing is...him. He's the one thing that has me strung out. For so long I was a single mother used to doing everything on my own and now I have someone who helps me in anyway that he can. From shuffling kids to practices, school, games or just coming home early to cook dinner. I am truly blessed to have a man who wants to help me be the best me I can be.
  14. Aja Tuesday - 23 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    All of these cooking men! I love it! @ E.V. that was so beautiful *tear*
  15. Spenser Avery Tuesday - 23 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    I like when I open an email form the site and the topic makes me want to comment right away. The "One Thing" my wife did and still does is being a GREAT PARENT. I know, I know. Huh? My wife raised her younger brothers and sister. I was raised by a single female before it was all the rage. I always wanted a family and I freely admit that I am still learning to be a husband (everyday). But from day one. Watching her around her parents house. Commanding the troops. Getting dinner on the table and still finding time to hang out with me, I knew she was the one for me. While there's a lot more snuggling going on these days, I wouldn't change a thing. I try to point out to my son that it is rare to find a WOMAN that knows what she wants. But also knows who she wants to be with. I gotta go! She's home now and about to do the "One Thing".... LOL I told her on our 1st date
  16. Tiya Tuesday - 23 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    I love this too Aja. I love that he pays attention to my likes. I have a habit of catolog shopping. I grab my catalogs and go through them and circle what I like, now this is just for me, it's usually stuff I will plan on ordering. Sometimes, my husband will grab those catologs and surprise me with those things I've circled, just out of the blue. That's the one thing that just gets me everytime. It's not about the money, it's just that he took the time and thought of me and what would make me smile
  17. Tamara Tuesday - 23 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    That one thing that made me KNOW? Sigh...lemme see.....hmmm.....the thing that springs first in my mind is his kindness. He was KIND to me....he was kind to others, he was pretty much KIND to everybody. He cares about people, even when he doesnt want to, lol. Kindness has pretty much ruled our relationship. We treat each other very precious...I am his sanctuary of kindness and comfort and he is mine. :)
  18. Sherryle Jackson Tuesday - 23 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    The one thing that got me besides my husband's cooking (he did go to culinary school is his generosity. I had a specific prayer for amn generous with his time and attention after dating men who took their time to call you back or thought they could call you at a drop of a hat for a date and you would be fee. We met at a concert for a date and he called before I got home to see if I aarrived safely! He adjusted his scedule for me and made concessions that made me feel special. I knew he was a keeper. read my blog from a mom and teacher's point of view at www.capitolmcapitolt.blogspot.com
  19. Tiffany Tuesday - 23 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    When my husband and I first started dating, we lived an hour away from each other. Although we talked on the phone a lot, e-mail was also how we communicated. This may seem like no big deal. But when we started dating in 2004, my husband didn't use e-mail for ANYTHING! So that fact that he'd log on just to send me a cute note about how he missed me, that was so special for me. .-= Tiffany´s last blog ..Lookin' @ Her Booty =-.
  20. Tywana Tuesday - 23 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    My husband keeps his word. Plain and simple. He has never made a promise to me that he didn't keep!!! For me, that's a BIG DEAL! When we first got together I was waiting for him to disappoint me in this area. I didn't treat him like I knew he would fail me, but in the back of m mind I just knew he would. To my wonderful surprise, I was wrong! He made me a believer in the Stand-Up guy. 8 years later I can truly say that I am Blessed to have him as a husband and a father to my daughters.
  21. Harriet Wednesday - 24 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    He appreciated my intelligence, not just my good looks. He loved the fact that I was in love with Christ, which really turned me on! LOL
  22. MTM Wednesday - 24 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    I think that one thing for me is that my husband is a seeker. On our first date, he started talking about Tai Chi, and I was like "this isn't just some regular dude." In the 8 years we've been together, he has taught me so much about so much and has really refined my spirit.
  23. Jonesi Wednesday - 24 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    LOVE THIS (and the song too!) - I would say my husband's hugs. I melt every single time he wraps his arms around me. Can't get enough of it :-)
  24. GeeGee4 Wednesday - 24 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    I love this article!! My husband shares some of these qualities that you guys stated as well.....But for me....that "One Thing" is our kisses!!! Those juicy kisses hooked me from day one!!!! After four years, in the midst of the ups and downs of life and marriage, when we come together and share a passionate kiss/kisses, all is right with my world!!!!!
  25. Staycee2 Wednesday - 24 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    His cooking won me over in addition to that ONE thing I'm not going to mention either!!! He does the majority of our cooking because he gets home first. He has to be the best thing that has ever happened to me. As a matter of fact last night we had for dinner... steak, baked potatoes, salad and shrimp alfredo, WTF??!!! I could never live without him and I tell him that all the time!!!! As Taraji P. Henson says, "iluvmesumhim"!!!!!!!!!!
  26. t Wednesday - 24 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    12yrs of marriage and hurting.NOT ABUSE. its called wife with children and a husband as a roommate. I ,the wife, feels like I do everything to make the world possible for my kids. my check is mine, his for himself(SELFISH).if I am short of cash , thats my lost. if we, a family, goes out, its whose paying?? then I don't want to go places with him. if we, as husband and wife goes out,its' the movies. that's like him being at home watching tv. his jobs is-go to work, home ,eat, tv , throw everything in the dishwasher(still dirty), and sleep. ssex is almost like being at a store, you got to get a number for the long line. when come to cleaning, everything gets thrown into the closet(mine). I try to see postive things coming, but Im still waiting. Been to church, counselling and others. I feel as though, I'm getting depress. His mom pays for arrangement to visit her out of state, but leaves my oldest and myself out. She gives him birthday and Christmas gifts( oldest not his child). HELP~ROOMMATE HUBBY !!
  27. Jami Williams Wednesday - 24 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    I would say my husbands' "one thing" is the way he takes care of our 2 month old daughter. I loved him with all my being the day we were married back in 2007 but I love him even more now when I see him with our little girl. He treats her just like the princess she is and seeing them together makes me feel so thankful that God blessed me with a good man.
  28. Bicultural wifenmom Wednesday - 24 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    I agree with the one thing being HIM! He was everything I ever wanted and more, even the secret obscure qualities I was sure I'd never find ever, he had them, off the bat. It is so crystal clear that God sent him to me, and he says the same about me. He makes me laugh harder than anyone else, and that is a feat because I have hilarious friends and family. He can cook his butt off and likes to and does. He is the sweetest, most generous man I've met and loves his child like the air he breathes. He calls me his Queen and always says how beautiful his wife is and that he has the best wife in the world, even when I know that is miles from the truth (I'm def initely a wife and mom in progress). He loves my family and they love him. My friends and brother tell our love story like proof that love can survive huge obstacles (and we've dealt with many) and challenging situations. He loves me the way that I want and deserve to be loved in all senses and I will commit my life to trying to return the favor. My man is the sh*t.
  29. Shayla Wednesday - 24 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    @ Bicultural wifenmom, I share your same sentiments. My husband treats me like a queen, even though he doesn't cook and isn't that handy around the house. But I love the fact that he loves me and would do anything for me. I think about how I could have almost missed the opportunity to have him in my life and I thank God for 2 of our very dear friends that helped me see that the love of my life is right there in front of me. And don't be stupid!! My mom told me a few weeks ago that when ever she sees my husband and me together, she see the love in his eyes as he just watches me. I didn't necessary know what she meant at first but then I realized, that he truly does love me and he is truly my soulmate.. The cooking can come later.. LOL
  30. Beth J. Thursday - 25 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    @t, I don't even know where to start. Me personally? I think you have to start with prayer and find out where your true heart is with this man. Your going to have to sit down and talk with one another, and find out each others expectations are, that maybe a first step. Do you Love him? Is this the for worse part in the marriage? I really feel for you and I will send up my prayers for you also. There is nothing worse then being unhappy. I really hope you get your answers from above, please stay in prayer my Sister. PRAYER, thats the best advice I can give. Take Care.
  31. Bicultural wifenmom Thursday - 25 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    @T, I think you are gonna have to have a major check-in with your husband and ask him if it was and continues to be his intention to be a) a part of your family and b) a husband and father, because is seems as though he is treating you like domestic help and acting like he's a long-term guest. He knew you had a child when you got together sounds like, and when he married you he was supposed to, as the Tyler Perry movie says, change the I's to We's, and he seems to have not made that transition. And his mom doesn't seem to be helping your situation either unfortunately. If he's not willing to do his part to support your family as a whole, financially and emotionally, then let him have that independence for a while, no family to support means you don't have to worry about me cooking your food, washing your dirty drawers, cleaning your dishes, or being available to satisfy your needs the once in a blue moon you want it. Now I'm new to this wife thing so maybe I'm not the best one to give out tips, but often too much of what you want will remind you of what you need. Just my twosies.
  32. MissJay Thursday - 25 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    @T - Will be praying for you sista. I agree with the previous advice. Re: the article - The "one thing"......would have to be his attention to me. He started off with 2 kids and still found the time to make me feel special. And he CONSTANTLY checks in. At one point I thought it was a bit much but then I spoke with other wives who wish their husbands would do that. And at the time we were just dating! We have our differences and ups and downs but I love my man!
  33. Sheryl Friday - 26 / 02 / 2010 Reply
    His one thing? He goes out of his way to make sure my needs are met. I may not have everything I want...but my needs are always taken care of. This is why his needs are taken care of as well.
  34. Tonia Sunday - 25 / 04 / 2010 Reply
    What got me is that he cooks oh so well and "the plunger" I am now to this website and I am really enjoying it!
  35. lynne Tuesday - 13 / 09 / 2011 Reply
    I will post this answer on her and FB. I grew up in an Jehovah witness  household. So I NEVER had a birthday party.  When I turn 30 my husband and I were together two years, and he threw me a surprise birthday party.. With balloons, streamers everything. It was  a kid party mixed with an adult party. It was awesome.  He planned it all on his own, and got his family members in on it. I will never forget it.
  36. Anonymous Wednesday - 14 / 09 / 2011 Reply
    He did one thing when we were married just a few months. He didn't let me leave the first time we had a fight. He said "we're married now, you can't just leave, that's why your past relationships never worked out, because you always left".  We have been married for 28 years.

Add a comment

FEATURED FILM: Still Standing


CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE

“Like” Us On Facebook

Ad
Ad
Ad
Ad




advert
©2011 BlackandMarriedWithKids.com - All Rights Reserved - Tyler New Media, Inc. Site developed by: ABlackWebDesign