Your Kids Hear Everything You Say

Parenting

by Lamar Tyler | on March 18th, 2010 | 5 comments

kids

by Tara Pringle Jefferson

My daughter is truly my mini-me.

She copies my tone of voice, my mannerisms, my body language. Whenever I find myself having a bad day, all I have to do is think of how she’ll copy me and it usually keeps me on the up and up.

A couple of weeks ago, she went through a phase where she called everybody “Honey.” As in, “Honey, can you get me a glass of orange juice, please?” or “Honey, I love this movie!” I had to ask her, “Where did you get that from?”

She looked up at me and smiled. “That’s what you call Daddy.”

Say it with me: Awwwwwww! I didn’t even realize how I referred to their father, but apparently she noticed and decided to make it her own habit. Now imagine if I didn’t speak words of love and encouragement in her presence? I’d be getting calls from the teacher like, “Um, Mrs. Jefferson? Apparently your daughter likes to call everyone a poo-poo head.” (Obviously I’m censoring myself here.)

I have to start being more mindful of how I speak.

Do I speak confidently about my body? When I put on a pair of pants after a particularly bad (read: horrible diet) weekend, do I verbally beat myself up? Do I look in the mirror and use words like, “Ugh! Yuck! Eww!”

Do I use loving words when I’m talking to my kids? How many times a day do I tell my kids that I love them? How many times a day do I tell my kids that I love their father?
Do I slap a smile on my face and tell my kids that I’m happy to go to work, even though I will miss them while I am there?

What about you? Are you mindful of the words that leave your mouth, particularly when you are frustrated?

Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer and blogger living in Ohio with her husband and two children. Visit her blog, www.theyoungmommylife.com, to read more of her observations about life, motherhood and love.

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

http://www.thesoulmom.com TheSoulMom

I do try to be mindful becasue like your little one, my 4-year-old repeats everything!Like the time when we were rushing and I said “I don’t have time for this,”… well the next day she said it right back to me! But when it’s sweet, it’s sweet. I always look at my 9-month-old infant and say “isn’t she cute?” Well guess, what my toddler repeats it as well and it is just so precious! As parents, we need to censor because we don’t want our children repeating the wrong thing!
.-= TheSoulMom´s last blog ..Soulful Kids Characters Represent =-.
lapreghiera

There was a James Cleveland song (I believe Cleveland, can’t find it no where) that said, “tomorrow the world will be, governed by the little children. And they wanna be just like us. Setting their examples by us. And their never gonna miss a single thing you do.” When I think about it now it gives me chills, but you see it everywhere. All these folks that think your kids don’t know what you do if you’re stripping, prostituting, using drugs…or maybe you’re just lying to your spouse, being fake with in laws, talking about your best friend nasty after she confides in you. They see it.
Anna

Kids are sponges. I was a young mom, back then I was “a do as I say, not as I do”. I am a cigarette smoker, but none of my kids smoke(they are in their 20′s). My kids don’t curse in font of me but I know they do. I read their FB comments. LOL. Whenever my kids or their friends leave the house we always give each other a hug a kiss and say “I Love You”. I know my kids friends don’t do this with their own families. It’s just the way my household is. I talk to my dad /siblings a few times a week and our last words are “I Love You”. We are not guranteed tomorrow. If you love someone never let a opportunity be missed and not tell them.
Cute post, cute comments. We do have to watch what we say and do because I know when I see kids out and pay attention to what they are saying , somethings are just not right. I use to tell my kids ” Everytime you walk out the door you are a representive of me”. I saw nothing wrong in putting alittle fear in them. LOL. Now that my kids are older I can say that they are truely my “friends’. I even date my kids, my daughter and I have a date tomorrow and it’s not shopping. LOL. Parents keep up the good work. It makes it easier when the teen years come along. I have heard so many horror stories from parents, their stories just remind me how blessed I am with the kids GOD chose to loan to me.
http://none Ruby Griffin

back in the days,there was a time and place for everything,when you get out of bed in morning you has thing to do inside the houses,as well as outside,that has to be done before school and after .i alway use the phases’,from the beginning’but when it come to the babies’,it start in the begining’…of they understanding,wish is in the stage of pulling up,and crawling,that when they begin to explore, the development age of trying you…to see how much they can get away with.as parent,step up,and show your babies love, by teaching him/her right from wrong.if you don’t discipline your children’s,you don’t love them..don’t get me wrong..i’m not saying, beat your children’s, i’m only saying,give them some attention,if they really need it…if you slip and say,something wrong in the present of your children’s,sat down and explain it, right then…don’t give they mind time to scatter,to come up with the wrong conclusion..it’s not as much as what you say ,to do the damage,it’s how you said it, to get they attention…
cocoamommy

I can so relate to this too. My 3yo is my mini-me, she trys to discipline her 9yo brother in the same way I do, she gives him instructions on behaving like me. Everything routine I follow she always says “can I do it when I get a little older” and my response is yes of course when you get a little older. She wants to work out together, gets her nails and toes done, makeup, hair done, etc.

Your Kids Hear Everything You Say

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