How’s Married Life Treating You?
by Jonesi
I’ve been married a couple of months now and it has become inevitable that I get the “How’s married life?” question on a daily basis. Most times I simply reply, “Great!”, or if I feel like being witty I may say, “He’s hasn’t run away yet, so I guess that’s a good thing”. But I was asked this seemingly harmless question by a childhood friend when I was not having a good day and I lashed out, “What do you want me to say?” While, I would never lash out this way with a stranger, in my state of frustration I was stumped between being honest and my safe reply.
After a few hours passed, I reflected back and wondered what if I said to someone “I hate being married; it’s the worst mistake of my life!” Seems bazaar but oftentimes we project those same sentiments unknowingly by the way we talk about our marriages and interact with our spouses in public. I remember when I was engaged, it was always so alarming to hear people talk negatively about their spouses. I would retire from the conversation feeling like, sheesh, I pray I don’t end up that way. I was even starting to second guess whether marriage was really a good idea because of all the negativity presented to me from the few married people I associated with.
The fact of the matter is we all will go through struggles but how we present marriage to others, especially those who are single, is within our control. So, I make it a point to speak positively about my husband and our union. That doesn’t mean I paint a picture of roses and go out of my way to use flowery language, but I made it to the altar, and I never want to discourage someone else from making the same commitment based on one of my fly-by-night mood swings.
I’m writing to encourage everyone to be mindful of how we represent ourselves as husbands and wives. Think back to when you were single and how vulnerable you were to “experienced folks” advice and perspectives about marriage. It may sound extreme, but you could be the deciding factor as to whether an associate, friend or relative decide to move further in their relationship. It’s easy to say, “It’s not my responsibility”, but you never know how powerful your presence in their life is. Yes it’s ok to be realistic, but also remain reasonable and balanced in your portrayal.
BMWK Family, are you mindful of the way you present your marriage to others? Do you feel you have a responsibility to positively represent? How did other marriages impact or affect your decision to marry?
-Jonesi
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