Do Your Kids Have Cell Phones?

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Our oldest nagged at us for three years for a phone. We only gave in when she turned 13. Our son is not that fussed about having a phone (yet) but we decided that he will also only get one when he turns 13.

We made some very strict rules to try and avoid potential problems like: we have access to the phone at any time, the phone doesn’t go to bed with her, no texting at the table, if you lose it you replace it, etc.
Apart from that we also decided to use a prepaid phone. Have you seen those news articles about teens texting up thousands of $$$ on their parents’ accounts? So now we turned it into a financial learning tool. We buy her a set minutes per month and she is responsible to make them last. She can always buy more with her allowance if she wants to but she’s quite good at budgeting her minutes.
It turned out very well actually. The NET10 phone is smart enough for her (can’t be seen with certain phones, you know!), the minutes are cheap and it’s very reliable with coverage etc. We’ve managed to avoid problems so far with the rules we set in place, so we are confident we made the right choice.
Good luck with yours!

oh yeah they have boost mobile with $10 phone cards. every week they earn that extra ten. GOOD LUCK!

Our oldest child, a girl age 13 wants a phone, but guess what, she doesn’t need one right now. She is a good child, honor roll student, but, she only wants a phone because everybody else wants one. We are not teaching her to be a follower, but a leader, so she will not get a phone probably until she is like 16, plus, she’s not mature and responsible enough to have her own phone. She misplaces things & needs to understand the value of a piece of equipment like that. I don’t like that parents are giving into their kids so easy these days and wanting to please them. What happened to being a parent? When a parent says no, it should be no. If the child or children are mad, guess what, I can outlast my child being mad @ me over something immature as that. And trust, our children will never be able to act more crazy than we will. They can get an attitude and want to try something if they want to, but we are the parents.

I gave my daughter a cell phone at 14 because of the transportation from school situation. The service that I used to pick them up from school was not there and when she ask the front desk people to use the phone they said no. Needless to say, I was outraged. I think it is important as parents to give a child what they need and not everything that they want. When you give your kids cell phones, you lose the ability to monitor the voice on the other line. I know technology is such that you can check their text messaging and things but with you busy schedule, how often would you do it before something happens. If you are going to give them a cell phone early put it up when they get home.

LOL at calling the time! I used to do the same thing. I remember when I begged and begged for a pager and didn’t get one until I was like 15. My theory is when my child is too young to even drive, I’m always going to be the one dropping you off and picking you up so need for a phone. I was allowed to get a cell phone when I started driving for emergency purposes, but like you, this was before we had all these fancy plans and what not. So I couldn’t just talk and talk all day and night. I think 15 or 16 is the appropriate age for cell phones.

My 12 year old does have a cell phone and has had it since last year. Our decision to get her one was more for safety purposes (she catches the school bus and gets picked up and schedules change from time to time). She needs to be able to get in touch with us. I am not sure if we would’ve gotten her one for any other reason. Of course she does use the phone to text friends, which I don’t mind, because I know that’s what young people do. But we have set the ground rules as far as when it’s too late to use it and so forth. Aja, it’s a tough decision as to the appropriate age. I guess if ground rules are set and the child has shown true signs of responsibility then maybe and if it is needed for safety purposes, then I would say yes.
.-= Tiya´s last blog ..Superwoman I am not! =-.

This article really got my eye of attention also…Back in the days,we didn’t have a phone,and when we gotten one,it was a party line and everybody,was up in your business…then star 69 came out,now the cell phone,I disagree on teens,with a cell phone,I know they good for keeping in contact with each other,that need be…but ,how many time you call your childrern’s,and get no answer,and how many times you threated to take the phone,for talking over they minute even if you on a contract…It’s a good thing for them to have,but is they using it,for the reason you purchase it…

Aja – we went through this with our oldest son, who did not get a cell phone until the 10th grade. Before then, I thought that he was not old enough and that he was going to lose it anyway. He actually purchased pre-paid phones and lost the phones, let the minutes run out, and lost the chargers. And he only used the prepaid phone to call his grandparents ad cousins. But he lost interest in the quickly.

After he received his first real phone with texting capabilities, we had some issues with in appropriate texts and with his friends sending him pictures of naked women. He got in trouble for that and he knows that a phone check can happen at any moment.

@ED – thanks for all of the information on the t-mobile phones. I will look into that for our kids too.
.-= Ronnie´s last blog ..Do Your Kids Have Cell Phones? =-.

@Connie, I feel you on that! As a teenager, I was very creative with the using of the phone since at some point my mother told me no I was not getting my own phone line just because everyone else had one. So I got real creative.. unplugging the phone, cutting off ringers, buying a pager that my mother didnt know about so that my friends/boys could page me and I would call them back until eventually I got my own phone line. I was in a freshman in college by the time I got it by the way. LOL. I use to think it was because my mother was a lot older than a lot of my friends mom’s by the time that I got to the teenage years. And by way of being older I mean that most of her friends had already had kids and some were even grandparents. I believed that if I had a younger mom that I would have been able to have the pager, my own phone line and be able to talk on the phone all hours of the night like a few of my friends did (not all, but some). I did learn however, that that was not the case at all. Having a pager, your own phone line, the ability to talk all night long on the phone and now having a cell phone comes with a lot of added maturity and responsibility. I can say that I was a mouthy teenager but I was responsible and I was very mature and wise beyond my years, but my mother believed that what could I possible need with a pager or my own phone line?

If I look into present day, kids with cell phones is a very interesting topic. Not having kids of my own yet, I have watched and been involved with the upbringing of my oldest goddaughter who will be 12 this year and who has had a cell phone since she was about 8 or 9. I think this was around the time that Aja brought her daughter the limited access phone for 4 ppl only. I remember discussing with my friend that the limited access phone is a great idea because she only needs to talk to the 4 important ppl and whoever else she wanted to talk to she could call them from the house phone since clearly you are 8 and have no business needing to call everyone from a cell phone. Well, she didn’t listen of course and in present day she has a full access cell phone complete with text messages and the internet. So, I thought to myself, clearly she is too young, but she is very responsible and she can handle this added responsible right? Wrong! I never liked the idea that she would text message me becuase I just thought that was way too much and she should call me after all, I am not one of her little friends, I am her godmother and a grown up. But when she thought sending me a picture text message of Santa Claus nude shaking his butt to the cupid shuffle was a good idea, I lost it! And so did her parents. Needless to say she was punished for a week and her phone was confiscated until she came up with a better response than, “I didn’t see anything wrong with it”.

After that I realized two things, first one being you can have the most responsible child and they will do the sneakest most immuture things and at the end of the day, you just laugh because you realize that had that been in your teenage days with an all access phone you probably would have been sending out the same text messages to your friends (but you would not have sent it to a grown up). And second, I realized that if cell phones have to given to children under the age of 14 there needs to be a good reason (i.e. walking home from school by themselves) and then once home, it needs to be up on a shelve until the next day. I think that maturity is a main factor in determining when to allow children to have a cell phone for personal uses. Hopefully, they mature by the time they hit high school or they may have to wait until their 18th birthday.

Great article Aja!!

LOL@ Connie! I had completely forgotten about the light up phone and yes I had one that I could turn the ringer off on and still see it light up. I wasn’t a bad kid but as Shayla said even the best of teens will do their sneaking around. I’m scaring myself remembering old times and what I might be in for in a few years!

True story: My 13 year old daughter has an acquaintance I’ll call “Kennya” that does NOT have a cell phone any longer because she had boys calling, storing them under girls names on the phone, sneaking around meeting up with them afterschool, etc. Kennya started using another friend “Stacy’s” phone to arrange a meeting with a young man to how did he say, “you know what we’re going to do”. According to Stacy, the texts went into dialogue from where they were going to meet to who was bringing a condom. Stacy talked to my daughter about it as she heard Kennya asked to use her phone as well to make a call to this young man. My daughter gave me the run down and I in turn let Kennya’s mother in on the secret “tryst”. Luckily Kennya’s mother found her before the meeting occurred.

Kids will always find a way to sneak by but we must come together as a village in order to stay one step ahead. Back in my teen years the best and the worst thing was that 3-way calling. But in this day of technology it gets harder and harder to keep that watchful eye out.

Mrs. Dickey….I know exactly the conversation you speak of with a 9 year old…what you doing?? Nothing. What are you doing?? Nothing. Dead silence for minutes. It doesn’t change until teenage years…. then it may change to: You hang up! No you hang up! lol

My 12 year old daughter has a LG Bliss (touch screen with all the latest n greatest feautures)!!! I purchased her cellphone when she started summer camp about 4 years ago. Although, I worked a couple of block from the park district she attended, but it was only for saftey purposes! Now my baby catches the school bus home & spends 8 hours @ dance class on Saturday’s and I want her to know that I am ALWAYS a phone call away. She’s a tween now and uses it for texting & keeping in touch with her dance & middle school buddies. She will not download or make any phone purchases without my consent. With that being said the choice is yours & I know it is a hard choice to make, GOOD LUCK!

@Pete

Yeah, mang! As soon as the phone rings, she will yell out “I got it” and dash for the phone, pick it up and start speaking. She hasn’t mastered the buttons, but she already knows she has to press something before she starts talking.

Lord, what is we gon do?
.-= Brotha Tech´s last blog ..Just two more days… =-.

I guess we’re all having the same problems. My youngest will NOT stop asking for a cell phone! After doing a lot of research, I think I am finally going to give in. I’m thinking of getting her a pay-as-you-go cell phone. The Net10 phone I found is great because it only costs $0.10 a minute. This way, she learns about responsibility and that she can’t talk on the phone all the time. We also turn it into a math game. Every month she tries to count how many minutes she use and how much we’re going to owe. She’s getting very good at it and learning how to be responsible all while I have peace of mine because I know I can call her at any given moment (when she’s not in school).

In this day an age, cell phones are a necessity in some cities. My daughter has had a cell phone since the age of 9, since she started walking home from school unchapperoned. She calls the minutes she is off the school premises and uses it for emergencies. Yes, she now has the need to text all her friends, and talk on myspace, aim, and anything else electronic they come up with on the internet. However, I think I have instilled good values, she knows the difference between right and wrong, she understands how kids will sometimes encourage you to do wrong things but I keep the door to communication open. She comes to me with issues. She has proven to be responsible, the longest she kept a phone was 1 year without losing it. Her consequence after that was getting the $10 clearance version, which she hated and since she has been upgraded to one with all the features, she takes care of it like it’s a living thing. Kids live and learn.

During my son’s high school
days, I initially did not like the idea of kids having cell phones.  Then
the Columbine High School massacre occurred.  What changed my mind was
that the “good” kids who had cell phones were able to call their
parents and the police from their cells while hiding under tables and in
closets. With so many shootings going on during those days, I wanted my son to
be armed with communication outlets so if he needed help, help could get to him. I learned that bad kids will do bad things with anything – including their cell phones – and good kids will do good with anything – including their cell phones.

My husband and I attempted the cellphone thing with both children, a boy age 8 and girl she 13. My son lost his after only three months. My daughter, well we thought we had instilled enough values and morals for her to use the phone wisely, not take advantage, but after a short length of time she was sneaking and talking to boys after midnight and texting inappropriate messages to her friends. We learned it wasn’t worth it. The better age is after 15. Maybe more maturity will be present.

We gave our son a cell phone in 5th grade, Christmas last year. He had been asking since 3rd grade, but we felt 5th grade or beyond was ok. He knows it is a priviledge, NOT a right, and that it can be taken away at anytime my husband and I deem appropriate (i.e., misbehavior). He has had the phone almost a year without losing it. and any time he recieves a text, I need to know who it is and what they are texting him about.  My daughter who is entering 4th grade wants one, but she knows our rule is 5th grade. I think it depends on the maturity of the child, and that they understand it’s a priviledge.

I have two kids, ages 20 and 12. Both got them at age 12. This was the age I picked because they do many things with me. Between  band, track, chorus, football, girl scouts, school trips. I like the idea of being able to pick up my phone and call them.