BMWK Couple’s Spotlight: “BMWK Creators The Tylers”
by Tara Pringle Jefferson
Introducing…the Tylers
With the rousing success of the Tyler’s second film, You Saved Me, I was dying to get more info about the newest Black power couple. Make no mistake about this – I believe that Ronnie and Lamar are going to be on the cover of Essence in 2011. You heard it here first.
I asked Lamar and Ronnie to give us some insight into how they work as a couple. Obviously, they have something strong, since they are able to balance careers, four kids, a loving relationship and a blossoming business promoting black love. I need some tips from the couple that is doing the most!
Tara: Let’s take it back to the beginning – how did you two meet?
Ronnie: The first time we met, we really didn’t talk to each other (although I thought he was cute from across the room.) We had a mutual friend that was having a get together at her home. I had a male friend with me on that day and Lamar was busy flirting with the other ladies. (He says he was not…but I know he was 
) The next year, that same friend was having another get together and we had a chance to talk (this time he was flirting with me.) At that time, I lived about 2.5 hours from DC and I was just visiting for the weekend. Lamar told me that he would be in my city on business and that he would like to go out with me when he came. He came to town, we had a date and have been together like glue ever since.
Tara: When/how did you know he/she was the one?
Ronnie: We had a long distance relationship, so during the week we talked for hours and hours and hours. We talked about our goals, finances, past relationships, religion, etc. You name it and we talked about it. After about 2 months, I was hooked. I was totally in love with Lamar. And we decided to become mutually exclusive. Yes, Lamar asked me to be his girlfriend.
Lamar: I knew Ronnie was the one because I found myself doing things that I never did for anyone before. Example, when I previously dated I had a basic rule that I didn’t travel past about 20 miles to date anyone. I lived in the southern part of the county and if I met someone that lived in the northern part it just wasn’t gonna happen. If I met a woman that lived in NE, or NW DC couldn’t do it and definitely not northern VA even though it’s all relatively close. When I met Ronnie things changed, I was driving 2.5 hours every few weeks to see her so I knew something was up LOL.
Tara: You two have a blended family. Ronnie already had two kids, so you two decided to go ahead and have kids early in your marriage. What challenges did that present, if any?
Ronnie: We decided to have kids early in our marriage. We were thinking, we already have kids so adding one or two more will not change things very much. Boy, were we wrong!! I truly underestimated how much more effort is involved with everything now that we have four kids. Don’t get me wrong, we are having fun with our kids and we love them to death. But I think we could have used a little more time to adjust to being a blended family and also Lamar and I would probably have a little more ‘alone’ time if we did not have as many kids right away.
Lamar: There were definitely growing pains associated with our new family. Our biggest challenge was learning each other’s parenting and disciplining styles, and understanding the roles that we each play. This is a challenge for all families, but I think it affects blended families even more. We’ve tried to overcome these challenges by staying united in front of the kids and outsiders who don’t have the best interest of our family in mind. We do not disagree with each other in front of the kids. We wait until we are alone and address our differences then. And we try to consider each other’s points of view.
On the end of having kids quickly I’m glad we did. Since we already had two kids I wanted to get the baby stages over with. I didn’t want them to get old and then start over from scratch so let’s jump in head first was my approach. I think Ronnie just can’t handle that the babies love me more. LOL
Tara: With all of your success and increased travel, how has it been balancing your new life? How are the kids adjusting to the new demands on your time? How are you adjusting your relationship with each other?
Ronnie: I think that our work has brought us closer. We try to keep things as normal as possible with the kids. During the week, from 5 pm to 9 pm is their time and we try not to do anything to disturb that. Sometimes, grandma their uncle or their favorite sitter has to watch them for a few hours and they are so excited when that happens.
Lamar: I definitely think it’s brought us closer. For one we’re always taking in new information in regards to marriage and relationships so we’re constantly learning new ways to relate to each other and build a stronger foundation. On the other end I think we keep in mind that we don’t want to destroy our lose our marriage in an attempt to save everyone else’s.
Tara: What is one of your most memorable moments since being married?
Lamar: Mine is the birth of the kids. It was definitely one of the most memorable moments of my life and going through that with Ronnie was special.
Ronnie: It’s hard to narrow it down to just one moment. I cherish our wedding day as it was so special and so much fun. The birth of our kids was equally as special. Each day with our family provides moments that I could add to this list as Lamar is so loving and the kids are such a joy. So I don’t know if I could pick just one moment.
Tara: Who do you turn to when you need advice or counseling in your marriage?
Ronnie: Through the work that we are doing promoting marriage, we have the opportunity to consult with many marriage mentors, counselor, educators and psychologists that are providing us with valuable advice on marriage.We also participate in the marriage ministry at our church and plan to attend at least one marriage conference or retreat every year.
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