Gwen’s Journey: There Have Been Some Changes

Hey there, my long lost friends!

It’s been a grip since I had the time to sit down and write about what’s been going on with this wedding of mine. There have been a LOT of changes in recent weeks so let’s start with the first things.

1. I had to terminate my agreement with my wedding planner. It simply was not working out. Luckily, we (my fiancé and I) had already done most of the work ourselves, so it didn’t end up being a total wash, as we held the contracts and relationships with the vendors and locations.
2. That said, we had to move the wedding up 2 months from September to July because…
3. …we found out last Saturday that we’re having a baby! (due on Christmas Eve no less). Since “Lil’ Gwen” (that’s what I’m calling her until further notice. Yes, I am pulling for a girl. Way too many little boys in our families) won’t be here until December, we really could keep the wedding in September, but for my comfort and not wanting to walk down the aisle with a baby bump, we think it’d be best to jump the broom a little earlier.

So, basically, with all this stuff going on, I’ve been a little frazzled, but I was able to re-plan the entire wedding in a day and a half. (Endion tells me all the time that I am Superwoman.) It was a real blessing that the date for our locations was able to be easily moved. Vendors were another story. Most of them were able to shift their schedules. Only a few couldn’t. So, I took a day off work and researched a few new vendors, as well as completed some other things that we hadn’t done to begin with, like securing the chair order for our outdoor wedding and getting our floral arrangements together.

I’ve been very reflective throughout all of this, thinking about how great of a guy I have in my fiancé and how beautiful the concept of marriage truly is – especially black marriage. I can think of few things more alluring and enchanted than two brown people who are marrying each other for the right reasons. Such a beautiful thing.

He really does try to do everything he can to make me happy (which is a big change from past relationships), even if it means foregoing his own comfort. I guess that makes me spoiled, but it’s definitely reciprocated and it’s so awesome to know without question that you are loved.

And he’s going to make a phenomenal father. The day we found out we were preggers (by the way…I was on the NuvaRing when I got pregnant, so be wary, NuvaRing users. LOL) he went out and bought an armload of “new daddy” books and he reads them every night before he heads to bed. Apparently, he has become the authority on pregnancy, because he’s got a remedy for every symptom I am having and an answer for every question I have.

I realize people are going to say we are getting married because we’re pregnant. I can’t lie, it really does bother me that some will think that; I never want to be assumed to be a stereotype, but whatevs. When we gave our wedding invitation to our neighbors, Endion also announced to them we are having a little one. Immediately, our neighbor said, “does the wedding and baby have any correlation?” Maybe it was just me, but that really irritated me. Because clearly, he knew we were already engaged long before we ever had any inclination we’d be bringing a life into the world. (He was invited to our engagement party in December.)

Anyway (as I roll my eyes lol), we had the first ultrasound on Monday, where we were able to see the heartbeat. Pretty exciting stuff. Until then, I had been in disbelief, like, “Is there really a baby in there?”

Now, I’ve never wanted to be a parent. Ever. I was so content playing the “rent-a-kid” game, in which I could borrow my goddaughter or nephews for a few hours, then send them back to their rightful owners (haha) when I got tired. The thought of me having a kid was absolutely preposterous. But once I became preggers, my whole outlook instantly changed. And it changed before I even thought that I might be pregnant.

I had a dream about a month ago that I had just delivered a baby girl and, in my dream, I was so happy and peaceful. Although I thought it weird, I just wrote it off and kept it moving. Right after that, I started feeling uber-maternal. Again, something that was very strange for me.  I started thinking that it might not be so bad to have a munchkin running around driving Endion and I crazy J. So I took two home tests – one came back positive, one showed up negative.

A few days later, I had an initial Ob/Gyn appointment to confirm the pregnancy. As I was cleaning out my purse just a few hours before the appointment, the thought crossed my mind, “What if I’m not even pregnant?” Just as I thought that, I pulled out a fortune from fortune cookie I had eaten a couple weeks back. On one side it read, “You are about to embark on the most delightful journey”; on the back side, it read “Girl” and included instructions on how to spell “girl” in Chinese. Now if that’s not a sign, I don’t know what is!

So, back to the wedding. My wedding shoes arrived two days ago and our cake topper arrived yesterday (which can be viewed here: http://www.uniquebridalsupplies.com.au/7103a.jpg). I’m so excited about the cake topper, because it has so much meaning for us. If you’ll recall from my first post, Endion and I met on PlentyOfFish.com. We also went fishing on our first date. How cute and sappy – my kinda thing! And anyone who has had a wedding before knows how hard it is to find cute African American wedding cake toppers.

My dress fitting will be next week. Luckily, I was savvy enough to buy a gown with a corset back, which will work really well in the event Lil’ Gwen wants to begin showing up a little earlier than expected.

And now that I think about it, I don’t recall ever showing you guys my engagement party photos! (silly me). Here’s the link if you want to take a gander: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=203179&id=1221465235&l=c08b8a6f6e).

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

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