Acts of Service ……Men Is Your Voice Being Heard And Understood?

By Marcus Whyte23

As I watched my queen/wife greet people this past Sunday at church, I thought about how people relate to her touches and hugs of affection.  I often heard people say how her hugs affected them. I have watched in the past as people would sometimes cry, laugh, melt or just fill up and receive this love that she was spreading. But I would often wonder why I did not receive the same type of interaction from her when she hugged me.  Over time I realized that it was me that stopped the hug interaction or should I say my body stopped the interaction. I came to realize that every time my wife would ask me for a hug once we touched I would be in need of sexually healing, we know how Marvin Gaye said it.  This struggle to just hug took me to a journey of discovery.

Through this journey of discovery I came to learn that each person has a language of love that is tied to their personality. I actually learned that there are five love languages and that everyone gives and receives love out of their own language. I learned that my love language is what they call “Acts of Service”. Acts of Service is where, I believe a lot of men fall under. In this group we feel like, we go to work, we put gas in/wash the cars and we cut the grass, just to name a few. We are handling our business – what do you want I prove my love to you every day. Fellas, I get it, I felt the same way. So, when I would hear other men say that they just can’t please their wives, I started asking questions. I asked the wives what was it that they felt their husbands were not doing and I came to find out that it was tied back to how they would give and receive love, their language. If their language was ‘Time Spent Together’ they didn’t care that he put gas in the car or cut the grass, their response was I cook dinner and wash his clothes but he never has ‘Time’ for me. If her language was ‘Words of Affirmation’, she would say he never ‘Says’ anything nice to me, he never ‘Tells’ me that I’m pretty. The fellas would be sitting there saying I’m doing my best but listen to her.

I also came to understand that since most of us don’t understand this communication concept and because of that we struggle to get our true voices heard and understood to our partners. Fellas, learn your wives love language so you can relate to her on her terms. Through her love language she will both receive and understand your love. As info, most of us have a dominate and a secondary love language. These secondary love languages are usually our partners dominate love language, that’s part of our attraction to each other. I came to understand how the secondary language works—I can now hug my wife and not need to receive sexually healing after every hug but, I am so grateful for her act of service back to me on those times when I do need more than just a hug.

Do you know your mates Love Language?

For further information concerning the (5) Love Languages check out:

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/

Marcus Whyte23, is a husband and father of 2, freelance writer, Certified Life and Relationship Coach from Akron, Ohio. He is the Founder of For Healthy Marriages,  whose purpose is to re-engage and educate couples on the benefits of a healthy marriage. Follow him on Facebook page or  Find out more about him at http://whyte23.blogspot.com/ or Twitter @whyte23.

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

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