No More Wasted Moments

Relationships

by Lamar Tyler | on May 14th, 2010 | 19 comments

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by Harriet Hairston

For those of you who don’t know, my husband was in ICU over the weekend. One moment he was fine, the next moment, he was about to be hurled into eternity, all because of an imbalance in the protein levels in his bloodstream (a condition called rhabdomyolysis). No more protein shakes or supplements for Mr. Incredible.

As his ICU nurse came in the room, she gave him the outright truth: “If we don’t get these levels under control, you could die of multi-system organ failure overnight.” As I write, he has improved enough to be taken out of ICU, but he’s still not quite out of the woods yet. His kidneys and liver are functioning perfectly (by the glory of God), but they have to keep pumping him full of fluids to balance all the protein that’s in his bloodstream.

How about that to put things in perspective?

After spending two nights in the hospital, I finally decided to come on home to get some rest so I could go back and cross examine every medical professional that steps foot in my husband’s room. In the meantime, I’ve been thinking about all the wasted moments Patrick and I spent fussing about silly things. All those moments we could have spent in laughter and in appreciation to God for bringing the two of us together.

I’m not saying that disagreements won’t arise, or that I won’t ever get angry at Mr. Incredible again. However, a scare like this was enough to make me reevaluate the molehills that I made mountains, and the 10s that I made 100s.

BMWK, how can you bring things into perspective to prevent wasting valuable moments that can never be spent again? Tell me your story!

God bless!

~ Harriet

Harriet Hairston is a woman who slips and slides in and out of labels (military officer, human resource manager, minister, mentor, spoken word artist and teacher). The only ones that have stuck so far are “wife” and “mother” (the most important in her estimation). The rest have taught her well that only what she does for Christ will last. There is one more permanent label she holds: ”author.” You can purchase her first book, ”Who Are You?“ simply by clicking on the link. You can also contact her at harriet_hairston@yahoo.com

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

http://www.adrienneslittleworld.typepad.com Adrienne

My wake up call was last year.
My husband and his best friend (of 29 years) were supposed to go out for the best friends birthday. He was supposed to pick up my husband so they could ride together but it didn’t work out like that. He ended up meeting Patrick at the place where they were celebrating. They had a great time. Tony left early because he had to be at work the next morning @ 4am. On his way to work, he saw a terrible accident. Said a silent prayer for whoever it was and went on to work, only to find out it was his best friend who had died at the scene of the accident.

Tony was supposed to be in the car with him. I hate that Patrick lost his life, but I’m SO glad that God spared my husband and the kids father. It was after that, that we both realized how short life is. How we shouldn’t fuss and fight over stuff that makes NO sense and to really enjoy each other.

Sure we still argue, and have dissagreements, but we handle them differently now.
.-= Adrienne´s last blog ..Simplicity 2497 =-.
Donna

i wanted to say thank you for sharing all your stories i am truly blessed by hearing these stories it put a whole lot into prospective for me …
Prude Nomore

Good Morning Harriet,
I read both of your postings this morning and you always inspire me. I am praising God for Patrick’s recovery!!! God is truly awesome! The wasted moments are exposed in a crisis like this and I am guilty of that. My greatest challenge is overlooking some of my husband’s actions that I disapprove of. It weighs on me like a ton of bricks, however, I am convicted because I should be laying aside every weight that so easily beset me. Precious moments are irreplaceable. Thank God you and your husband will have more time to spend laughing and appreciating God for bringing the two of you together.
I am praying for you and Patrick and for him to gain his physical strength back 100%. I know you will keep us posted.

God Bless,
Prude Nomore
http://www.ajadorseyjackson.com Aja

Thank you so much for sharing your story Harriet. It can become so easy to take for granted that the person you have with you every day is always going to be there until a scary situation shocks you into reality. Like you said, as couples we disagree, but when we choose to fight it out we have to make sure those issues really matter in the long run, which I am the first to admit can be hard to do. Praying for your stregnth and your husband’s speedy recovery.
Harriet

@ Adrienne,

Girl, that’s a testimony for real! I’m not glad that his best friend died, either, but I am glad that you still have your husband!

@ Donna,

Thank you for those words of encouragement! You let me know that God is always answering my prayers when it comes to what I write.

@ Prude,

Thank you for your prayers! They most certainly have helped!

@ All

So check this out: the safe level of protein in your bloodstream is 0-175, right? When Mr. Incredible was tested, the lab thought they made a mistake…so they tested him again, and lo and behold, it was NOT a mistake. He was off the charts at 100,000+. They couldn’t even measure the number, and they were wondering why he hadn’t gone into renal failure at all.

Anyway, day by day, his levels went lower and lower, and now we’re at 7,000. Still too much to release him from the hospital, but he’s definitely out of the woods now. We expect a full recovery, and he should be out of the hospital by the end of this weekend.

Thanks for all your prayers!
Harriet

@ Aja,

Thanks for your words of encouragement and your prayers! I feel you…sometimes it’s hard to put things in perspective, but things like this serve as a memorial and eternal reminder that IT AIN’T THAT SERIOUS. LOL
Tiya

Harriet,

I am praying for Patrick and for you and I thank you for sharing this and giving us the opportunity to lift your family up in prayer.

My husband and I have been there also with the health scare(s), but is was my husband in your shoes. And although we were never the type of couple who argued/disagreed regurlary, I think those situations did change us. We’re really gentle with one another, and we do try and savor special moments. It’s like those health scares were wake up calls for us, like it’s not guaranteed that we will always be here, so let’s make this thing really great. Thank you for this article. Your husband is blessed to have you by his side, as I know that you are also blessed!
Monica

I’m so sorry to hear about your husband! My mom suffered from the same condition and it was so scary. My prayers will go up for you two!
Kisha Tuttle

Harriet,

I had no idea! Patrick is a very dear friend to me, my big brother! We grew up together, with our mothers being very very close friends. Which is how I came to be introduced to you, right now very informally through your wonderful writings, email, and Facebook, but still with that being said you are now my sister as well. When we are able to get him better, and all of us in the same town at the same time we will have that proper family intro. In the meantime, I will keep him and your beautiful family in my prayer. I too have had a close call, I am a cancer survivor if you didnt already know, but it was a close enough scare for me and my daughter, I only had her at the time, that it made me appreciate my husband that came after that so much more. I wish he could have understood the same way that I understood, the possibility of losing a life, but he didnt have the same appreciation that I did. I will keep you guys uplifted. Love you,

Kisha Tuttle-Stradford
http://gods-man.blogspot.com Carlton

Harriet,

We are keeping you guys in our prayers and thank you for being a blessing even in this time of struggle.
.-= Carlton´s last blog ..God’s Man | Biblical Manhood =-.
LaNeitria

Harriet I am glad that your husband is doing well. I will keep you all in my prayers. I know that I don’t have to tell you but, PLEASE make the most of what you have with your husband. DO NOT take it for granted. A co-worker of mine’s niece died a few days ago. Just seemingly fell dead. She leaves behind a husband and two kids. You just never know what will happen in the future, so I encourage all married couples to look past the small things and stay focused on what you have together.
Fran

thanks harriet for always reminding us to above all love our spouses. i have and still will be praying for your husbands full recovery. i know people who do the protein shake/supplement thing and i will spread the word that it can be dangerous.
Anna

Harriet thanks for sharing. I am glad Patrick is imporving. I bet all who reads this will hold on a little tighter to their spouse. This sure reminds us to not take things for granted, appreciate what we have and to let those we love know we love them. This was a double message post because my son and husband both consume protein shakes, I will share this article with them.
Thanks again for sharing and know that you and your family are in my prayers. I kid that I am too young to be a grandmother. I am way to young to be widowed.
http://whyte23.blogspot.com/ Whyte23

Harriet thanks so much for sharing. Hopefully we will get this message take it to heart and learn from it. We really do need to remember why we married, why we are together and why we love each other.
Please lets take the time daily and let all who we love and hold dear know how we really feel about them. At the end of the day are the things we find ourselves disagreeing about really that serious? Yes we will disagree but remember to keep loving and respecting each other.
Harriet my queen and I are praying for you and your husband. Praying that peace, health and strength be present in your lives at this time of struggle.
Marcus n Gloria Whyte23
.-= Whyte23´s last blog ..I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me! =-.
http://bloggingeverafter.wordpress.com {JeLisa} @ Blogging Ever After

Yikes! So glad your husband’s condition is improving. God bless you both.

This is an incredibly valuable perspective to take. I will definitely be carrying it in my heart for those days I find myself easily irritated with my husband.
.-= {JeLisa} @ Blogging Ever After´s last blog ..30-Second Relationship Repair? =-.
http://www.happyhomebakery.com mochazina

Wow! Glad to hear Mr. I is doing better.

The RibDonor & I ended up in counseling not too long after we got married as both of us are pretty stubborn and our fights could get pretty intense. The absolute best thing that the counselor told us was to remember that we’re not each other’s enemies. That is so simple, but it turned life completely around in my head. Then, it wasn’t anything for us to get into it almost daily. Now, we may hit an argument once a month. Maybe.
http://harriet-canshesaythat.blogspot.com Harriet

Just a quick update: Mr. Incredible was released from the hospital today! Woo hoo!!!!! To celebrate, he came home and trashed all his protein supplements. LOL His protein levels are still very high, but they’re safe now, and his prescription was to drink a gallon of water a day to literally urinate the protein out. Thank you all for your prayers!
.-= Harriet´s last blog ..Father Can You Hear Me? =-.
http://www.huggykidsbedding.com LEROY | boys bedding

Glad that he is fine, as a person who knows a little about training, myself and other people chugging down gobs of protein is a useless activity that only compromises your health, get excess of anything you want from food, not the synthetic crap that they lure you to buy with false promises.
.-= LEROY | boys bedding´s last blog ..Kids wall stickers, kids wall decals =-.
http://Bintentional.com Ayize

Thank You Harriet….thank you thank you thank you for sharing and allowing the BMWK and B Intentional family to walk on this journey with you. Aiyana and I will keep you and your husband in our prayers.
.-= Ayize´s last blog ..Do Black Men Hate Black Women? =-.

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