Black and Married With Kids.com – A Positive Image of Marriage and Family

Please God, Don’t Let It End!!!

Relationships

by  |  on June 29th, 2010  |  9 comments

by Ronnie Tyler

Hubby: Hey boo

Me: Hey babes we miss u

Hubby: Follow my tweets today

Me: Ok

My husband and I were texting as he attended an all day social media conference a few weeks ago. I love him to death!! And when we are apart, I miss him dearly. And when he comes home after being away, I am so excited to see him. Please God, don’t let this feeling end!!

We have been together for 7 years and married for almost five years. When people see us, they think our love is so cute. When they ask how long we’ve been married, they say: “Oh you are newlyweds.”  Newlyweds?? Since when does being married for 5 years make you a newlywed??? Wikipedia says that you are considered a newlywed: if you have been married for less than one or two years, or until you have kids, or until you stop behaving like newlyweds (i.e. laughing, playing, having lots of sex, etc.) Well we have been married for almost 5 years, we have 4 kids (a blended family) and we have not stopped acting like newlyweds!!  Please God, don’t let it end!!

It’s almost like people expect you to grow apart and to just settle into a routine that does not include having fun, being excited about each other, being playful, etc.  While I know that everyday life can get hectic, stressful, busy, tiring…etc, I don’t believe that I have to settle for a life without playful moments, missing someone, having a friend, a lover, and a boo :-)   .

So how do we plan to keep the excitement alive? As Ayize and Aiyana say, we will be intentional about making our marriage work by:

  • Continuously working on our marriage (education, workshops, reading materials, counseling…whatever it takes to keep it strong.)
  • Continue to date each other and ensure that set aside quality time to spend with each other
  • Continue to be affectionate with each other (daily hugs, kisses and I love yous…)

After dating my husband for a couple of months, I called my friend that introduced us and said Lamar is a sweetie pie.  And almost 7 years later, he’s still my sweetie pie…my boo.  Please God, don’t let it end!!

BMWK Family – how long have you been married?  Are you still having fun together? How do you plan to keep the excitement alive?


About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and their latest documentary Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.



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  • http://theyoungmommylife.com Tara Pringle Jefferson

    I was JUST thinking of this this past weekend. My husband was out of town for three days and I was DYING. I wanted to talk to him and hug him so bad! When he finally got back, about 1 a.m. on Monday, I was up waiting like a little kid on Christmas! So excited to see him!

    I hope it NEVER ends because I am enjoying being his wife so much. It's honestly better than I thought it would be! :)

  • Maria A.

    I've been married for 6 years this December and we have a 2 year old son. Just this morning I found myself praising God on my jog! I mean having a hand raised in the air and almost in tears over how well God has blessed this little life of mine with such an amazing soul in my husband! It feels even better when I'm in the lowest moments and he pulls me to come and be held by him just to let me know he's there with me. We text all day everyday unless we’re together. We hold hands, hug and kiss in private and in public. People around us always say we’re still newlyweds as well and as far as timing I get annoyed because in my mind they’re insinuating our affection and adoration won’t last and want to tell them they’re wrong. But as far as our actions, they’re right. I’m newly in love with him daily and I’m happy for it and want it to last forever! I plan on making that desire a reality by adjusting to life as it comes in whatever way necessary. People change and as we change individually our lives can and should change together.

  • CC

    I'm not married yet but we are close to the “starting line”. I'm getting gun shy however as I'm having sooo much fun dating him and I am afraid that will change once the “I Do's” are said. Looking at the examples around me doesn't give me much faith that it will not be dull but reading your comments and various others on BMWK I am staying hopeful. Thanks BMWK family!

  • Harriet

    We've been married almost 6 years, and I'm with you. We have a great time together. We really love working on our marriage together and communicating on how to make it better. Great article, Ronnie! I pray it never ends, but gets better as it has continued to do!

  • Nadia

    Fast approaching 2 yrs , this August . I has not been the best . But we have stuck it out and working on making it better . Listening to everyone here and daily post it gives me hope for a better tomorrow in love

  • http://chocolatemomrants.blogspot.com/ Chocolate Mom

    What a great testament to being happily married and enjoying every minute! My husband and I are about to hit our 5 years and we worked hard for these first 5 and seem to now be getting into that honeymoon phase. Go figure!

  • Ronnie_BMWK

    Tara – you are right..I never imagined that it would be this good.

    Maria – you expressed exactly the point I was trying to convey in this post!! And I find myself also giving thanks during my morning jogs…the morning air is so refreshing, and it is such a peaceful time that makes you think of all of the wonderful things you have to be thankful for such as a wonderful husband and family.

    CC – like you, I have had some pretty bad examples too…which is why I made up my mind that I want different for my marriage. If you are having fun together now, then that does not have to change after marriage..just don't let life get in the way of your love for each other….there will be problems.. but at the end of the day you have to remember that you are a team and are friends…and keep a positive attitude.

    Harriet..you are right… I am going to pray that it gets gooder and gooder :-)

    Chocolate Mom – thanks for sharing and for showing that things can get better!!

    Nadia – I pray that things get better for you as well. I am glad to read that you are both working on making it better. One thing that has helped in my relationship is communication. We actually do a check point with each other to find out if the other person is happy, if the other person has concerns…to discuss our goals for our marriage….to talk about things that we need to work on…etc. And we have made it a point to participate in some type of marriage related workshop, ministry, conference..etc each year.

  • Funkidivagirl

    You guys are so sweet! And you are right…with all the hard work that you are putting into keeping your marriage alive, it won't end. :-)

  • Tiya

    Ronnie, this is so adorable to me. My husband and I have been married for almost 12 years (this August) and we are both in such different places than where we began, we've both matured and have grown in our marriage and it just keeps better and better. We remain friends, and always treat each other with not just love, but with respect. We still date and plan couples' outings with other married friends, still do a couples (kids-free) vacation too (that one is a must for us to unwind and reconnect).




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