by Tiya Cunningham-Sumter
Experiencing two weddings this month has not only brought a smile to my heart, it also served as a reminder that love is still very much in the air. Attending one of the weddings as a guest was wonderful, but being a coordinator for the other was more than a notion. After being married for almost 12 years, I had almost forgotten about the stressfulness that goes into planning and coordinating such an amazing event. There are so many details that are critical to having a successful wedding. We put tons of energy into making sure our guests not only enjoy the wedding, but are also impressed by it. The bride’s gown, bridesmaid’s dresses, flowers and wedding favors are all things the guests might be talking about afterward, so it is a must that they are on point. We normally get stressed by all of these details because our wedding is a reflection of us and we want it to be perfect. Well, our marriage is a reflection of us and if we use the same energy, time and attention to detail, our union will be just as successful as our wedding.
Those we choose to stand up for us in the wedding party, are usually the people that have been the most supportive in our lives. In our marriage, if we’re having trouble in our home, first we work it out ourselves and if we must, only confide in those same few that have already been supportive.
As we google, research and ask event experts about ideas and tips on planning a wedding, when necessary, let’s ask those in healthy relationships and couple’s experts about some ideas they have on making a marriage work.
All of the guest that witnessed our exchanging of vows, the ones who made toasts and expressed how happy they were for us, should continue to love, encourage and remind us of our vows. If we ever stop trying, they should hold us accountable.
And the scriptures that were read during our ceremony, if used on a daily basis, can be a great reminder of the promises we made before GOD. Having a great wedding that people will be talking about is great, but having a healthy marriage that others admire is even better.
BMWK, are you still giving your marriage the same energy and attention you put into your wedding?
By Tiya Cunningham-Sumter, a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, Founder of Life Editing, creator of The Black Wives’ Club and an Administrator of Still Dating My Spouse. Tiya resides in Chicago with her husband and two children.