How Do You Spend Time With All Your Kids Equally?
BY Tara Pringle Jefferson
I got pregnant with my son right after my daughter turned one. I feel comfortable telling you all that it was not planned. I was in complete shock, and wondering how we were going to manage two kids in diapers. Oh boy.
Now I’ve got a three-year-old and a two-year-old and they are both demanding, as all toddlers are. But my daughter is a lot more vocal, a bit more outgoing and I find myself gravitating toward her requests more frequently. (Plus, we have that whole mommy-daughter relationship and the fact that I want her to be my mini-me. So sue me.)
I don’t ever want my son to think I love him less, because I don’t. He’s just a very laid-back kid and rarely fusses unless dinner is late or his favorite toy has been snatched by his sister. Other than that, he’s content to just lean against your arm and cuddle in your lap. My daughter on the hand, wants you to LOOK at her and PLAY with her and TALK to her and TELL her what you’re thinking about and what we’re doing next.
I feel like I went overboard with my daughter, trying to make sure she didn’t feel jealous of her baby brother. As a result, I missed some of that one-on-one time with my son. In some ways, I want a do-over, but I know I’m doing the best that I can and that’s all I ever demand of myself. I make sure I hug and kiss both of them every day and tell them how much I love them.
But I could still use some suggestions. BMWK family with more than one kid – how do you make sure your kids get all of you, and each one gets their fair share?
Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer and blogger living in Ohio with her husband and two children. Visit her blog, www.theyoungmommylife.com, to read more of her observations about life, motherhood and love.
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Comments (12)
Mommy-son day is just as important as mommy-daughter day. Look at your regular schedule and set up atleast one of each so that your focus on that day is that child. Your bedtime routine can also be a time that you connect with each of your children. Have the other child reading or playing with their toys while you put the other in the bath. Once they are both done you can cuddle up on the sofa and read a book together. You could also have your husband take on the other child's book reading so that you can spend more time with the other child. On the weekend you can wake your son up early one of the mornings and your daughter the other and just have some quality time with them where you can prep dinner/breakfast or whatever other activity you can think of.
Don't stress over not spending equal time with each child, this week your son might get more and next week it could be your daughter. As long as you are showing both of your children that you love them and that you are there for them it will work out. In a few years when they are each a little more independent you will find that it is easier for you to split your time.
Good luck