Splitting the Housework – What Works?

Comments (14)

1. 

   Fran Tuesday - 01 / 06 / 2010 Reply

   even though they are little you haveto start training them now to pick up their toys and clothes. i sung clean up clean up with my older two and am doing it now with my younger two. if you dont get them in the habit while they are young to take care of their stuff,they wont do it when they are older. it will be hard at first but worth it in the end. as for the other stuff, i just bow my head say a prayer and me and my hubby just do what needs to be done as we go along. if they play in their rooms that might relieve some of the stress of having to run around like a chicken with you head cut off when companyies coming over. if they dont want to play in their rooms start taking them in there getting on the floor and showing them that this is way better than any other room. dont allow them to bring toys out of the room,cause if they bring one they will bring another and another. most of all give your self time to do the above. and you and your hubby split the rest. there an article somewhere that says .....
2. 

   Fran Tuesday - 01 / 06 / 2010 Reply

   when husband do more around the house they get more sex, goodle search email it to him with the subjest line of EVEN DURING THE PLAYOFFS!!! and see if he dont become more motivated to help you so he can help him self later on!!!!
3. 

   Kisha Tuesday - 01 / 06 / 2010 Reply

   Please, please, please don't think your kids are "too young" to help clean up! If they can pull toys out, they can put them back! They can take a dish rag & wipe off a table. Etc. Second, get away from who "should" do what. I hate grocery shopping; future husban handles that. He cooks breakfast, I prepare all other meals. He does laundry. He does dishes because I'm a dishwasher user and he's oldschool, he washes by hand. I clean the bathrooms. Etc... Our kids (in the house) are 10 & 11. Old enough to help out a lot. They do their own laundry, clean up their bathroom (with me doing a deep clean every other week). They sweep & mop floors, vacuum, etc. Never, ever fight over chores. At the end of the day, the world won't end if your house isn't spotless (most important thing I learned as a single parent). Don't jeopardize your marriage over chores!
4. 

   Aja Tuesday - 01 / 06 / 2010 Reply

   I have a toddler and I am right there with you. I have always pretty much handled all of the housework indoors and my husband handles the outdoor stuff- mowing the lawn etc..but that doesn't need to be done every day so I always end up doing more. Two things that really worked for me are: 1) scale down on the toys that the kids have available to play with- either give them away or put them away somewhere and just rotate them out over time. If my son has too many different options its too hard for him to put them back and it gets messy. And make them put their toys back- we sing the clean up song and put everything back after play time. 2) Make a list of the major things that need to get done to keep your house clean (vaccuming, mop etc.) and divide it up between the 2 of your for the week. Try to each committ doing 10 minutes of each thing everyday - it doesn't sound like a lot but it makes a big difference. Also, I think that I've changed my expectation. Spotless is near impossible for me right now with a toddler but my house is usually presentable- at least in the rooms that guests would go in. There's usually at least one room in the house that is a borderline disaster which is typically the laundry room.
5. 

   MichaelMartin Tuesday - 01 / 06 / 2010 Reply

   I think you should make cleaning the house a Family thing all around. Get the kids involved...make up a playful kid's song about cleaning up if you have to....Get them in the habit of cleaning up behind themselves after they are done playing....Share the house work all around!
6. 

   Ruby Griffin Tuesday - 01 / 06 / 2010 Reply

   most of all,have self control,take a deep breath,and look around,and say in your mind,something got to give,then take control back...for instead,who destroy your house,your toddler,get them in control,they toddler they understand,and they know what they can get away with,and they going to continue having you pull your hair out,unless you nip it in the bud,wish it should have been done,,from the beginning of they understanding age,of learning right from wrong...and then again, if you have marriage a moma babies,you have to train him as well,cause he use to having everything his way...when you first notice that pattern,you shouid have correct that in the beginning also,if it have gotten to that stage already,so who do you blame,for having a hush mouth,for not speaking up,for what going on in your household....
7. 

   Ronnie Tuesday - 01 / 06 / 2010 Reply

   Aja... you gave some perfect advice...I am actually going to scale down (aka throw out) some toys this week. Also, I used Fran's suggestion to sing the cleanup song with the my kids as well. Tara ..i feel your pain. Like Kisha said..the world will not end if the house is not spotless. I only do so much each night..and whatever is not done..just is not done!!! I think it is a phase though... and as the kids get older..things will get better. My oldest son was an only child for 9 years..and my house was spotless when it was just him..but now that he has 3 younger sisters...it is a constant battle to keep this house clean. So in addition to all of the great input you have been given above..I would say STOP... just stop cleaning when you get tired. That's what I do. I am not going to stress myself or tire myself out any more. I start with the kitchen and bathrooms and the family room...and then everything else is a bonus after that. .-= Ronnie´s last blog ..Marriage Memorial Day =-.
8. 

   Tiya Tuesday - 01 / 06 / 2010 Reply

   I had to finally start giving my children chores. I think I may have waited a little late, but they are responsible for keeping certain parts of our household in order. My husband and I have specific areas of the house that we handle. I think we've divided it by the areas that each of us commonly use. He handles the basement & basement bathroom, I handle kitchen and dining room for example. Other areas we split.
9. 

   TCB Tuesday - 01 / 06 / 2010 Reply

   With twin toddlers, we are trying things like saying "thank you" or "yay" whenever they put a toy away, hoping that it will stick. As for the adult chores, we have outsourced out outdoor and indoor work to a landscaping and cleaning service because honestly, it's just too hard to keep up. We both are working and between that and taking care of kids and our precious free time, it's just too hard to keep up with it all....
10. 

    Ayize Ma'at Tuesday - 01 / 06 / 2010 Reply

    Great post Tara. It's an ongoing process in our home. Sometimes our system is flawless and other times i've learned to be o.k. with being systemless LOL .-= Ayize Ma'at´s last blog ..The Bottom Line: Episode 2-”Wasn’t Last Night Amazing??” =-.
11. 

    {JeLisa} @ Blogging Ever After Wednesday - 02 / 06 / 2010 Reply

    What ever the chores list agreement, I find that what works the absolute best is affirmation. Showing my husband that when he does the dishes or the laundry I: 1) Notice. 2) Care. 3) Appreciate it. 4) Am blessed by it really seems to provoke him to do those things more often. It doesn't matter if it's something he's supposed to do or not - I still thank and affirm him as if it was a pleasant surprise. It's what works for us! {And much better than nagging, I might add.}
12. 

    RW Wednesday - 02 / 06 / 2010 Reply

    My husband and I use a combination of several of the suggestions above. I admit, my husband is more of the nagger/neat freak, as I am a clutter bug. But what works for us is splitting most of the chores. Now I do do a little more since I do take into account that Hubby does most of the outdoor stuff. But if I cook dinner that night, he cleans the kitchen and vice versa. If he sorts and starts a load of laundry, I switch them over to the dryer and fold them. If my husband has a day off during the week, he usually does the basic whole-house maintenance routine (ie bathrooms, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, etc.) If not, I tackle those chores on Saturday along with what hasn't been done during the week (ie windows, dusting, etc.)
13. 

    Meg_WGBH Thursday - 03 / 06 / 2010 Reply

    2010 marks the 45th anniversary of the publication of The Moynihan Report, a controversial document analyzing the conditions of black families in America. The goal of the report was to communicate ways in which our nation can achieve “the establishment of a stable Negro family structure.” In light of this blog, how have we accomplished or failed to accomplish better conditions and resources for black families? How does the dynamic between husband and wife when it comes to things like housework contribute to black marriages? Are there aspects of the marital relationship that are overlooked by the black community, especially regarding the black family? Tonight on Basic Black, our panelists will examine the state of black families over the past nearly half-century since The Moynihan Report. Join us tonight at 7:30 on WGBH (Channel 2) or online at www.basicblack.org, where you can also tell us your thoughts on our live chat.
14. 

    Tenille Friday - 04 / 06 / 2010 Reply

    My 3 year old's toys are not allowed downstairs or in our bedroom. She has little chores like putting away her dirty clothes and emptying her little trashcan. So whenever I walk into my house, from the garage and through the kitchen, I don't instantly feel as if I have to cleanup all the time. So if anyone was to walk into my house they might not know i have a child expect for the Princess Tiana placemat on the table. Kids stuff must be contained to one area and you can train them early on. It is easier with one child but it is something that I have always taught her. As for my fiance...he picks up behind himself and helps out. My main pet peeve is dishes in the sink but if I don't do them they will not get done. Period. No discussion or arguing. He will not do dishes. So in return I never take out the trash or mow the lawn. Considering I have outdoor allergies, I think it's fair. Sometimes everything is done (when I do it) but I can't complain when he does his part too.