The Secret Languages of Women
by Tiya Cunningham-Sumter
Husbands, boyfriends, men in general listen up. What is about to be revealed are some translations to the body languages, expressions and words (of women) you may have wondered about, but were too afraid or confused to ask. I hope my sisters will forgive me for spilling the beans, but ladies there are just some things our men need to know, so let’s bring them out of darkness. Sometimes we say certain things and there really is another meaning behind the words. Listed here are a few of the more common translations.
1. “Have I gained weight? Do I look bigger? Do I look fat?” all translate to “Do I still look good to you?” So men, the best response is always “baby, you look good to me!”
2. The silent treatment. Even when we say there is nothing bothering us, please know it usually is something and you either were directly involved or should have helped us with whatever it was. Occasionally we just don’t know how to express it or we are still too upset to discuss. We need a little time.
3. Wearing the ugly/frumpy pajamas to bed translates to we are not interested in making love. You may still be attracted to us when we are looking a hot mess, but believe me you’ll know when we feel sexy and are in the mood.
Side note to ladies – please don’t pull out those frumpy pjs too often.
4. Men say they can’t read minds but women say you better give it the old college try. If we’ve been together for years we absolutely expect you to know our needs, wants and desires and no that’s not too much to ask. We expect in that time that you would have really gotten to know us and our idiosyncrasies.
5. Women’s intuition. We trust it, so if we say another woman was flirting with you, she was! We need you not to be naïve about it and nip it in the bud.
6. When you overhear us talking to the kids loudly saying things like “Mommy will do it, doesn’t mommy always do it?” it is intentional and purposely said for you to hear in the hopes it would provoke more action out of you.
7. Last on this list, but definitely one of the most common misconstrued languages of women is timing. Guys, I know for sure you know this one by now. When we say just a few minutes we mean at least 30 more minutes to an hour. It’s not on purpose; it’s just that most of us underestimate the time it will take to do certain things, especially when we’re getting ready.
Hopefully this short list (of course there are more) will bring some insight to men. This information may have confirmed your thinking that women are crazy, but nonetheless, it is useful information that may come in handy, so use it when you need it.
BMWK, what else would you add to the list?
By Tiya Cunningham-Sumter, a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, Founder of Life Editing, creator of The Black Wives’ Club and an Administrator of Still Dating My Spouse. Tiya resides in Chicago with her husband and two children.
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