Training Value?
by Harriet Hairston
When I was growing up, there were times when my parents, wanting to protect me from all the evils of the world, would lay their law down without budging. They told me what I could do, when I could do it, how I could do it and who I could do it with.
When I got older, I started needing to know the WHY behind all the rules. That “WHY” is important to explain to older children. They may be prone to rebel whether you give it to them or not, but I’ve found through my own experience growing up as well as in my meager experience as a parent that communicating with children WHY the boundaries we set up are erected, it reduces the desire for kids to rebel against them.
This philosophy may be controversial to some. There may be those who feel like, “I’m an adult, and I don’t owe any child of mine an explanation!” I think of it more like a precautionary measure, not an explanation. The whole, “Do it because I said so,” thing is played out to me. Yes, we are raising children, but I would prefer them to know why I don’t want them to do something as opposed to robotically following rules and orders.
In fact, my military training taught me the same thing. Abu Gharib happened because people were blindly following orders instead of thinking them through and deciding whether or not they were lawful. In my mind, it’s OK to teach kids to think for themselves and ask questions about the training value behind the rules. I want my children to grow up as responsible citizens. In order to do that, they have to have the ability to think critically. Teaching them the training value is one method of equipping them for that task.
What about you, BMWK? What do you think about teaching children the training value behind your rules? What is the age appropriate time to do so?
God bless!
~ Harriet
Harriet Hairston is a woman who slips and slides in and out of labels (military officer, human resource manager, minister, mentor, spoken word artist and teacher). The only ones that have stuck so far are “wife” and “mother” (the most important in her estimation). The rest have taught her well that only what she does for Christ will last. There is one more permanent label she holds: “author.” You can purchase her first book, “Who Are You?” simply by clicking on the link. You can also contact her at harriet_hairston@yahoo.com.
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I have a 12 year old turning 13 in a few weeks and she is already trying to exert her independence and we are proud of that but we mentor her now to nurture her mind as to what she should be doing and what is not appropriate in her actions or decisions