Do You Feel Appreciated? (How Do You Cope If You Don’t?)

Relationships

by Lamar Tyler | on July 8th, 2010 | 7 comments

by Tara Pringle Jefferson

It’s summertime and life at the Jefferson household is chaotic beyond words. We’re both working late every night, with my husband coming home at 11, midnight most days of the week. We’ve got projects on top of projects, and all things of things on our to-do list that just need to get done.

We are no different than many other families out there and I’m sure many of you are in the same boat, juggling everything at once while trying to maintain your sanity.But what really made a difference for me this past week was when I asked my husband to go to the store to buy some diapers. He came back with some diapers and a card. Inside the card he wrote a little note of appreciation, thanking me for my love and support during his crazy busy work schedule.

BMWK family, let me tell you – I melted. I had been so busy I hadn’t even had time to think about all the overtime I’d been putting in or if he appreciated all the extra effort I’ve made to make sure everyone stays within their regular schedule and everything is running smoothly.

Feeling unappreciated is about one of the worst things that can happen to a marriage, because it flies under the radar. We’ve got to make sure we acknowledge the other person, making sure they know that this thing called life wouldn’t be the same without them putting the pieces together.

How do you make sure your spouse knows how much you appreciate them?

Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer and blogger living in Ohio with her husband and two children. Visit her blog, www.theyoungmommylife.com, to read more of her observations about life, motherhood and love.

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

http://liferequiresmorechocolate.blogspot.com/ sunt97

I may not be married but I do feel under appreciated when it comes to my kids. I do everything for them and all their father can say is, “why don't you … or how come….”, when he does absolutely nothing from his location in Phoenix. That goodness my boys look at me sometimes and just say thank you. That makes it worth it.

Peace, Love and Chocolate
Tiffany
staycee2

I send my spouse a sweet text almost every Monday morning. I start off by telling him how amazing of a father he was to the kids over the weekend, cause my mom was a single mom. AND how much I luv n appreciate him being in my life and always putting me and the kids first. I always find a way to build him up!

Soulchild04

You have recognized exactly what it takes to keep a man on the right path. We thrive on recognition for what we do no matter how small a task it is and it motivates us to no end. The exciting part is that with this kind of ego boost, we will work harder for those who appreciate what we do.
Thank you for the posting. Ladies love, respect and recognize your man for who he is and his worth. Men: support, honor, respect, cherish, recognize your woman for all she is.
Love and blessings.

Tiffany

I show appreciate to my hubby through my cooking. After a long stressful day at work and a grueling commute home, I love to see the look on his face when he walks in the door and I'm fixing a giant plate for him. There's nothing like a home cooked meal!
Spenseravery

I fall very short in this department, but my wife enjoys me trying to keep up very much.
http://twitter.com/geekgirlwife Geek.Girl.Wife

We both try and show appreciation for each other, but it does get tough trying to get through the everyday. I do what I can though. It does feel bad if I have done something special and he has not taken out the time to notice. Underappreciation CAN kill even the best of marriages, I agree.
FDFDFD

black and married? if there was a website called white and married, it would be labeled as a racist website. you’ve got to be kidding me. black and married with kids, asian and married with kids, white and married with kids…IT IS ALL THE SAME.