Would You Like It If He Put a Bracelet On It? (Being Married With No Ring)
by Tara Pringle Jefferson
My girl Charreah pointed me to this blog post on Real Simple. A young writer, recently engaged, showed off her beautiful new piece of jewelry. But instead of a shiny new diamond ring, it was a simple – yet elegant – bracelet that her fiance had designed for her. She says:
“Throughout our relationship I told him that I didn’t need a diamond ring or any ring at that (note: but of course we would still get married). I have always been more interested in buying a home, so any money he wanted to put towards a ring I suggested we should save it for our future home.”
I don’t know this woman, but something tells me that they are going to be very happy together. Many women will say that they don’t care about the ring, but it is still a symbol of love and if you really love someone, you want that symbol to be as beautiful as your union. I’m not materialistic in the least, and while I would have been happy with a bracelet (or a really beautiful necklace), I’m proud of my ring and I love what it represents.
What about you, ladies? Would you be happy to show off your bracelet or would you prefer a smaller, simpler ring to stick with “tradition”?
Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer and blogger living in Ohio with her husband and two children. Visit her blog, www.theyoungmommylife.com, to read more of her observations about life, motherhood and love.
Add a comment
Comments (19)
Lots of people get married without rings. With or without, marriage is not about them. Marriage is about keeping the vows and living them every day.
My ring wasn't cheap, and my then-boyfriend was a grad student working off his stipend so it took a few months to pay it off. Am I glad I have a nice ring? Yes, but if he had bought me a cheaper one and instead we got into our home that must faster, it would have been worth it too.
Plus, haven't you heard of upgrading later on down the line? LOL. Blog post for next week!
I would prefer a smaller ring or even a Wal-Mart/Target/K-mart ring to a bracelet.
Respectfully, I believe the issue isn’t really about the ring but about financial expectations, and culture. I believe the ideal would be to have a beautiful expensive ring, on top of the wedding, and starter home. I can imagine that a fiscally disciplined upper middle class family can accomplish this but this may be impossible for a lower middle class or working class family to accomplish this. I believe the heart of the matter is do men who aren’t middle to upper middle class have the right to marry? In my mind it all hinges on the woman and her family. I have NEVER understood this about our people but there are many other races of women who marry working class or lower middle class men. The majority of the time within 10 years of the marriage they have moved into the middle class if they managed their career, finances, and networks properly. I’ll use my own situation. I married my husband when he was working as a cook for $15 an hour and attending a technical college full time. My husband bought my ring a J.C. Penny’s. It’s simple and makes the point. Four years after marriage he went from $15 an hour to $80,000 year. We own our own home. I’d rather have a $1,000 ring than an $50k-$100k ring. In some regions it’s half of your mortgage for the entire life of your loan! And yes, I received put downs (from black women actually) because to them I was settling. Yes, I suppose I was… I settled into the middle class, settled into a home, and now am married… Sometimes settling ain’t so bad…
http://www.amazon.com/Marry-Him-Case-Settling-E...
Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough
Lori Gottlieb