Give Dads Credit – They Can Handle Kids, Too!

Parenting

by Lamar Tyler | on August 5th, 2010 | 12 comments

by Tara Pringle Jefferson

Of every one I’ve talked to about my plans to go to grad school, they’ve only had one question: “Who’s going to watch the kids when you’re in class?”

“Um….their dad?” I reply, with one eyebrow arched. All these people know I’m married; some are really close friends.

My husband has been there since BEFORE day one – I’m quite confident in my husband’s ability to take care of the kids while I’m gone. In fact, he might be the better parent (don’t tell him that, though!).

It just amazes me how people think dads are incapable of handling the duties of parenting solo for a couple hours. Do I really need to hire a babysitter (I’ll write how I feel about babysitters in a later post…lol!) to help my husband with the kids from 6 p.m. – 8 p.m. (the time they get home until the kids’ bedtime)? I’m already making extra dinners on Sunday night to freeze and thaw on the days I’ll be in class. Surely he can handle dinner, baths and storytime, right?

It does tickle me when people think the house will fall apart without me there (sometimes it does), but let’s give Dads more credit. They’ve done enough to earn the title – let’s treat ‘em like it!

Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer and blogger living in Ohio with her husband and two children. Visit her blog, www.theyoungmommylife.com, to read more of her observations about life, motherhood and love.

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

TheMrs

I so agree!!! While he doesn't do everything how I would do it but it gets done. Now I do know some husbands who can't handle it(i.e. an unnamed person I know was completely frazzled when his wife went on a weekend retreat and he felt guilty for dinner being happy meals…lol). I leave my husband with some and have left him with all the kids so I could do something(lunch was sandwiches and dinner was fruit, and baths were not done, and the girls didn't wrap their hair) but they all had smiles on their faces and that's what counts. As long as your kid count stays the same(I left there were 5 so there should be atleast 5 when I get back) then everything should be ok.
http://www.mochadad.com mochadad

Dads are fully capable of handling their children. I hate it when people ask me if I'm going to babysit my kid when my wife is away. I always answer, “No, I'm not going to babysit my kids because they are my kids. I will care for them as I always do.”

http://www.makesmewannaholler.com EPayne

Yeah, I can't tell you how many times when I've talked about being alone with my kids I've heard, “Awww, you're babysitting…” with the inference that they wanted to pat me on the head for trying. I've typically paused so that the situation gets a bit awkward for the other person and say, “No I watch my kids and it's just me and them tonight. I might babysit someone else's child but not my own.”

There was a time when I was talking to a woman about some babyhood condition my daughter had and we were discussing medicines and she cut me off to say, “Oh well I'm sure you're wife handles all that.” Again I paused…”No, actually I manage both of my kids health care needs — doctor visits, prescriptions, the whole nine.” She apologized and the conversation pretty much ended there.

But I guess that's why dads like you and me are out here trying to spread awareness.

Great article, Tara!
http://gods-man.blogspot.com/ Gods_Man

This is one that drives me crazy too. You can not babysit your own children.

http://www.ericabunker.com Erica B.

I so agree with this. I have 3 kids and I've never even considered that my husband was incapable of caring for them. And if I hear one more person referring to a father caring for his OWN children as “babysitting”, I'mma…
http://twitter.com/MrsSBXSmalls Jasmine

I fully agree with this article! I hear it all the time with in my own circle of friends and associates. I personally don't understand why some women feel that way. I mean really what did you marry for if you wanted to act like a single parent.
Ann

I cant stand to hear people say the father is babysitting! How in the world does a man babysit his own kids? You never hear about a mother babysitting her kids.
Cheryl

I feel you on this one Tara! My husband is great with our girls. My youngest stays with him during the morning when I am at work. EVERY day. He does Mommy and me music class, the park, you name it. It is funny, and a little sad, that the moms he encounters always think that he is a single parent and offer to help him.
http://www.ablackwebdesign.com Ayanna

I agree Tara. My husband handles the triplets like a champ! Sometimes I second guess if he can handle it because he's not with them as much as I am. However, they have a great time and by the time I walk back in the door everyone is all smiles and ready for bed. So two thumbs up to Mr Black and Mr Jefferson!
supa wife

My mothers family is full of strong women and sweet men. (aunts/uncles). Unfortunately, like the majority of African American families, we did not have full time fathers. Some through divorce, disinterest or some other dis. Most men (AA or other’s) historically have not assumed the nurturing role, there are many still who do not. Now-a-days, both parents who are B&M, expect to be engaged in the parenting process. I think the majority of us, blessed to be B&M in today’s world, are smart enough to understand that it takes two. I am proud to say my moms family always complements how; 'good to them boys” or “crazy about them kids”, my husband is with our children. It is truly a blessing to see and has saved his butt, a many times too. lol.
Charise Horton

My husband and I will be married for 10 years on New Year's Eve (and we aren't even 30 yet). We have 3 daughters ages 3, 7, and 8. I must say that I couldn't imagine a better husband and father than him. He actually encourages me to go on a “girls night out” with a couple of VERY CLOSE CHRISTIAN friends and looks forward to that opportunity to spend time with his girls. He'll do a date night with them which usually includes renting a movie and then going to get ice cream. Or he'll help them work on this robot project they've got going. Or he'll round them up in the kitchen and either try to duplicate one of Mommy's special dishes or come up with some concoction of their own (usually their attempts at Mommy's dishes turn into a concoction of their own). Like a previous post said as long as my 3 daughters and husband here when I get home, everyone's happy, fed, and on their way to bed if not knocked out already, I am happy. With that said, let me tell you… there's no such thing as babysitting your own kids. You spend time with them like good parents should. Any opportunity you have to positively impact their lives, you take advantage of that time to do just that. My husband, dad, uncles, and grandfathers, along with so many other men out there, are doing an awesome job at this even as we speak. I stand and applaud them ALL for everything they all do to make our (the mothers of their children) lives fulfilling and happy.
Freespirit09

it is really refreshing to know that family values are still very prevalent in the US. i have watched a lot of movies and seen a lot of news that makes me think it is a saturated society with daily divorces and little family values. thank you all for bringing a lot of beautiful information to me. God bless you.