AUDIO: Dr. Laura Drops The N-Bomb Like It’s Nobody’s Business

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by Lamar Tyler | on August 13th, 2010 | 32 comments

On Thursday Dr. Laura Schlessenger took the opportunity to tell America what she really thinks about the N-Word. An unsuspecting black caller wanted advice on what she should do about her white husband who laughs at racist and insensitive jokes around her when he’s with his friends. Well Dr. Laura used this as an opportunity to go all Dave Chappelle on the black woman repeatedly saying Nig… Nig… Nig… and letting her know what she thought about the N-Word double standard, black folks hypersensitivity and the chip you have on your shoulder if you’ve got a problem with it. What was she thinking? Check out the audio below…

BMWK family, what do you teach your kids about racism? Is this a teachable moment, if so will you use it? What do you teach your kids about the N-Word double standard?

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

tre0914

OMG, no amount of sensitivity could prepare you for what Dr. Laura had to say; she didn't even address the woman's issue. Dr. Laura should be fired simply for not being able to be objective and fair, which is what her job entails. She was wrong for spewing the N-word as she did on her radio show, whether she meant it in a malicious nature or not. Some things in our society are still taboo, and in certain setting are off-limits. Unfortunately, we as Americans have not reached a consensus on race issues and have not been able to sit like mature adults and have an informative meeting of the minds.

http://www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com Lamar

Yeah, I think my biggest problem was that she didn't address the reason the lady even called really. She took the stance from the very beginning that the lady was over blowing the situation before she even knew what the situation was.

MTMixon

Well she will not have to worry about me ever lissoning to her show ever again.

blackandwhite

doesn't anyone know how to spell anymore in the first place

you're going to stop LISSONING to her show? Did you go to school? LISTENING!!!!

Michelle

WoW! towards the end of this “Drops The N-Bomb Like It’s Nobody’s Business”
Dr. Laura says she don't get it…I can say thats about the only thing she was right about…I agree LAMAR…she didn't address the reason the lady called… & just because HBO & other networks say the N word doesn't make it right…if someone else jumped off a bridge would you follow….I'm just saying
MTMixon

I would like to see her go down a street in a section like North Philly or Harlem and say to some one, “Hey N may I speck to you for a second” and see if it does not make a difference. How can she think that one Black President was going to just erase years of racism. Having a Black President is just a start.
http://www.ablackwebdesign.com Ayanna

It would have been nice if Laura hadn't repeated interrupted the caller. How would she have really gotten a chance to HEAR the callers concern. She was to busy being defensive that she didn't advise the caller on her real issue. Race is a touchy subject so we must approach it carefully. All black people didn't vote for President Obama because he was half black. I personally voted for him based on the issues and resolutions he addressed during the campaign. As for the N-word, she's right it's not accepted coming from another race that have used it in a derogatory way for some many years. Not cool Dr. Laura!
MrsRW

I'm sorry, but I agree with Dr. Laura, just not necessarily in the way it came across. Maybe she in her profession should know better. But I think she speaks for a lot of average white people who don't understand the double standard of using the n-word. If their only entre' into black culture is what they see on tv or what they hear us say to each other, I would be confused too. Shoot, I'm a black woman and don't get the double standard myself. It is not okay to be used by anyone. Just like I don't understand how women can call each other b*s and h*s, but get offended if a man says it? If a word is offensive, its offensive. Point blank. It does not matter who is using it.

http://www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com Lamar

But Jade (the woman who called in) wasn't debating the double-standard of the n-word. She said she didn't like it when it was used around her by her white husband and his friends. She didn't say it was acceptable to her by black people. There are plenty of black people who don't find it acceptable, black comedians too. She has a show where she promotes helping people but as soon as the lady called in she was skeptical from the jump.

Then she dropped some lame apology on her website. Nobody saying nig… nig… nig… over and over all of a sudden realizes that it was wrong. She even went to break and came talking that same mess. The big wigs made a call and told her to straighten this mess out.

Mrs. D

Someone is clearly doing damage control. Dr. Laura meant what she said. No apology needed, in my opinion, she meant every word of what she said.

Love and Light

I have Italian friends who call each other “Guinea's” and Latino friends who call each other “Beaners” in a joking manner. Because they say it, should I? I think not.
red & blue

Interesting point you made, I can understand why you agree with Dr. Laura. The statement about “How blacks folk speak to each other….” leads to confusion? I do not believe so. Like any culture, one learns the Do's and Don'ts. The majority of the white race, at that time, used this word in a derogatory manner (for over 200 years to note). Now, they do not ever, ever, ever get to use it, again. This is a cultural Don't. What is the confusion? They use it already. Done. I do not think it is a double standard. Black folks that choose to use it are engaging in owning it. As oppose to how it was afflicted upon us and scarred a race. I do not think anyone should use it. Whether or not I agree of its use is irrelevant. Just because it is part of history, does not mean it forgotten. The problem seems to be that folks want to forgive and forget. Forgive? Maybe. Forget? Not a chance. Forgetting and not learning from the past will cause history to repeat itself. Anyone upset with a group of Jewish people wearing black??? They are still in mourning. Remember both the black race and women were considered property therefore, of course, they will still feel offended by those who at one point “owned them”. It is a boundary that should not be crossed and those who cross it should be held accountable.
Ryri

I agree with you, MrsRW. And if someone asks what do black people think. Just say “I think…” If you want to ask black people, take a nationwide poll. But if your husband's friend is uneducated, someone has to educate him. There is nothing offensive about trying to understand other races. It becomes a problem when you offend someone in the process by calling them a degoratory name or phrase.

Mrs. D

Talk about double standard. She cut the caller off every time she tried to say something but was offended when Jade cut her off. She was so busy debating the caller that she never addressed the caller's question. Is Dr. Laura helping or hurting ? And to answer the question I try my best to not teach my children double standards. The N word is not an affectionate term in my house. This situation is what I call hidden racism.
Lu

Laura is an idiot. She turned everything back on the caller. To add, she personalized it by giving her opinion. It sounds like “the world according to Laura.” Fuck that ofay bitch.
Trendolyn

I listened to the dialouge and understand her POV……. I am not offended b/c I do belive she was just trying to offer her opinion. She wasn't being malicious and I don't eve LIKE her at all. As for the caller I do think she was being super-sensitive. How can your husbands relatives (your inlaws) be controlled by your husband …. the only thing that can be done about that is not be around them at all. Really what is he supposed to do…… My grndma taught me that you can't argue with ignorance.

http://www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com Lamar

Her husband for starters could say, hey that's not cool to talk like that around my wife, my wife doesn't feel comfortable with those jokes, questions or a host of other things.

I think most wives whether they were being super-sensitive or not would want their husband to address something that his friends and family were doing that made them feel uncomfortable.

Chane021

I agree with you Lamar. When it all comes down to it she married into a family and if that family and friends are doing or saying things that are making her uncomfortable it should be addressed. I think it is the perfect thing for her husband to step up to. But instead of him saying “my wife doesn't feel comfortable with those jokes, questions etc,” I think he should say “We don't feel comfortable with those things.” This is a perfect time to show a united front and for her husband to stand up for his wife against the things his family and friends are saying. And think about this, if they are saying inappropriate things around her, image what they are saying when she isn't around.

dianne

While I didn't hear the entire show, I do understand Dr. Laura's stance. I see the 2x standard and think that it sucks. Neither Blacks nor whites should use the term due to its racist undertones and it is just a bad word! No other race of people go around calling each other derogatory names, why do we? I don't use the N-word unless I think that the person is acting in the N-ish ways: ignorant, outlandish, and just plain dumb. As for the caller, she should talk to her husband and if he doesn't respond by putting his family and friends in their place then that shows a lack of respect towards his wife. She shouldn't run and hide when his people come around-it's her house too and if it really gets on her nerves, she puts them in their place herself. It is a sensitive topic and should be addressed before the caller becomes resentful towards her husband.
Cheryl

I see this as a calculated move by Dr. Laura in her struggle to stay relevant. All press is good press. Yes, it is a double standard. Been there, done that. It is not fair, but there are lots of things in life that are unfair. I don't use the word, don't like hearing the word, etc. Still, it will always be offensive when white people say it. No matter how many of them try to get away with it, it always will be. She did not address the question that was asked to her, she saw this as an opportunity to get her name in the news again. As far as I am concerned she can keep her apologies and her antiquated relationship advice.
Cecil

I feel badly for the woman who thought Dr. S would be of any help. Now her husband has cart blanche to be insensitive and the problem still exists. They need to see a therapist who is a person of sensitivity and culturally aware, which Dr. Sh– is not.
http://mochamoney.com Alonzo

What I don't get is why does Dr. Laura think Black people voted for Obama because he was black. In my mind that's a sort of racist itself – like claiming we don't have enough intelligence or insight to look at the issues. Does she think we'd all go flocking to vote for Flava Flav for president too.
Psychstudent71

Anyone who knows Dr Laura, Knows she is a idiot.
Mary

BMWK family, what do you teach your kids about racism? Is this a teachable moment, if so will you use it? What do you teach your kids about the N-Word double standard?

THANK YOU for creating a venue to discuss this incident. YES it absolutely IS a teachable moment! This is a teachable moment for EVERYONE—adults included!

1.Dr. Laura Schlesinger’s behavior was a total disgrace and totally unprofessional. Not only did she FAIL to offer a list of coping skills or an exit strategy to the caller (which a functional practitioner would have done) but she ***used a request for help*** to ventilate her racial anger, frustrations, and apathy about race relations between blacks and whites as well black activists, black organizations, and the President himself. She abused the relationship, she abused her power, and she missed an opportunity to help someone.

2.It is NEVER okay to accept abuse in ANY situation. It is NEVER okay to encourage anyone to remain in abusive situations. Requiring African Americans or any other non-European ethnic or racial group to accept psychological violence, verbal abuse, or hazing by whites in multicultural relationships, or environments is no different than telling a woman to remain with a wife beater or a child to not report a child molester. Abuse is about power and control—event if the motivations are racial supremacy. It’s still abuse.

3.While I disagree with her admonishment of “if you don’t have a sense of humor and are hyper sensitive you shouldn’t marry out of your race” I will say that if African Americans aren’t prepared to accept the reality that non-blacks including other ethnic groups have racist family members who will abuse you and your children then may want to rethink interracial relationships. If your spouse and his immediate family are unable or unwilling to defend you, require that you and your offspring be treated with respect, and set the tone for how you are to be treated, you may want to rethink interracial marriages. You’re going to half to weigh the costs. If someone loves you, they should respect your heritage, history, and customs—even if they don’t agree. Often times these non-black spouses are romantically interested in the individual and don’t see the individual as apart a larger culture. If you aren’t allowed to have ethnic self-respect while respecting others you need to have a conversation with yourself about your self-esteem and integrity.

4.If Dr. Laura Schlesinger and others who think like her cared so deeply about the misuse of the N word they would dismantle the structure in our country that terrorizes, and destroys communities of color through economic, political, social, and psychological warfare attacks upon the members of those communities. Her aggravation at the so called double standard is a code for the whites who are pushing the reverse racism agenda in order to protect their white privilege. This is why she rebuts with “Don’t you NAACP me!”

5.People who use profanity are devoid of intellect and the ability to present themselves. We are human. We slip. But profanity as a way of life is foreign to me. I consider the N word profane. I don’t believe in listening to much of modern music. My children don’t use these words and no they will be disciplined if they do. When they are older they will learn the history of this word. The word isn’t wrong because white people say it’s wrong. The word is immoral because of its history and what it stands for. I don’t need validation from non whites to function.

6.Finally, bearing in mind all I have written. Keeping in mind the origin of the word, at the end of the day I’d say the real *N* is Dr. Laura Schlesinger.
Mary

I’d also like to say some other things here:

Her thinking and behavior are indicative of many whites and non blacks in our country. This is why outside of the workplace and university I’m skeptical of “universalist” or “multicultural” venues. If you aren’t one of those African Americans who is mentally dead or deranged from a lack of ethnic self-respect which is to be differentiated from black nationalism you will have observed that in these so called multiculturalists venues blacks are often required to become a blank slate devoid of history, culture, and achievement while other non black ethnic groups like the Latin’s are rewarded for their ethnic self-respect and solidarity. In fact, it is their refusal to give up their ethnic self-respect (refusal to give up language, culture, or even leave the country) that has whites who know full well the benefit of their privileges enraged and enamored. They are frustrated at what they perceive to be a sense of entitlement from Latin’s but it’s perceived by others as ethnic self-respect.

This pathology in whites and even some non black ethnic groups is why I ‘m against trans-racial adoption. Luckily the caller is an adult with the willfulness and capability to terminate the relationship, thus, ending the psychological violence, verbal abuse, and hazing she is being subjected to. For those who have been trans-racially adopted by whites who feel entitled to help themselves to the children of African Diaspora without a care to reforming the structure that created the need for adoption in the first place hold the same views as this woman. On top of the abuse, these children are subjected to isolation and segregation as they are raised by whites who mistakenly assume they can pass on their white privilege to non-white children. These children are often denied functional cultural experiences, the ability to learn their history and heritage as well the opportunity to connect to functional folks from their ancestry. They are not taught racial discipline or ethnic self-respect. In my opinion, trans-racial adoption is an extremist subject of Universalism and Multiculturalism.

Finally, any sound mental health practitioner worth their salt will tell you that being exposed to pro-longed chronic stress, hostility, disorganization, and abuse will break you down psychologically. This can cause depression, panic disorders, and post-traumatic disorder depending upon the severity of the abuse. Ethnic self respect, racial discipline, being connected to other functional productive members of your ethnic group through fellowship, and experiencing cultural experiences that celebrate achievement are normal coping mechanisms to racism. Eliminating these practices takes away the ability of the person to cope and thus manage the situation so that it doesn’t spiral out of control and create a crisis –like the one the caller is in now. Dr. Laura Schlesinger’s warfare attacks on black activists and the NAACP are attempts to eliminate the resources and coping tools for those suffering from injustice. Which is why I stand by word that she abused her power in that phone call.
http://www.happilymarriedafter.org David Patrick

Man, all I can do is shake my head. Her saying the N-word is probably the LEAST offensive thing about that call…
TheMil10

The N word isn't really the issue as far as I'm concerned. I'll just quote the American Standard:

In actuality, it’s the rest of her rant that drips with racial animus. To recap: Dr. Laura immediately dismisses her caller’s problems, uses a racist joke to prove her non-racism, insists that black people voted for Obama over nothing but racial solidarity (as if pre-Obama, African Americans never voted for Democrats), strongly resents the fact that “black guys” can use the “N-word” but she can’t, and declares that “If you’re that hypersensitive about color and don’t have a sense of humor, don’t marry outside of your race.” Dr. Laura isn’t known for her sensitivity, but this is an impressive display of raw racial resentment.
http://happynappybride.wordpress.com/ Happy Nappy Bride

That's what got me…she's saying all Black folks run around saying *igger, *igger, *igger! Like instead of addressing each other by name, we just throw that around. Dr. Laura, how about making it a point to be around regular Black folks (not rappers, comedians, people you see on tv) so that you don't say ridiculous (let alone offensive) things? How 'bout that?
Angela

Mary, I could not help but smile through your entire comment because I am 150% in agreement with you. As a practitioner myself and someone that works within an all White, slowly progressive setting, this is the mindset I have take with me each and every day to remain professional, objective, and sane. My husband and I also have to teach our daughter this mindset even though she's only four because she will deal with these issues as they have already come up subtly in preschool. I really respect your point of view and I'm glad that you spoke about it not only from your personal point of view but from a practitioner's point of view.
Angel

Wow! she never answered the question and ironic she is the hypersensitive one. She was insensitive to the caller. The offensive comment was “people only voted for Obama because he’s half black.” Black comedians don’t say “Nigger” they say “Nigga” which is completely different. She was comical saying “Nigger” and not understanding that she was misqouting. Dr. Laura you have the chip on your shoulder.
disgusted doctor

As a psychologist, this so-called “doctor” doesn't heal — she uses her enormous platform to shame and control with her strident ignorant perspectives. The problem exists in the lemmings who have followed her all of these years. Your leadership gives you power. Each time I see another of her books on the best seller list, I shake my head in disbelief. Why has it taken the American public so long to wake up to this megalomaniac.

Robert

The psychologist (above) speaks for so many of us. Dr. Laura has masqueraded as a reputable clinician for years but has been using her pulpit to preach to the masses in ways that have feathered her own nest. In her conversation with the caller in question, her agenda is unfortunately all too clear …. SELF, SELF, SELF!!