Kiss Your Spouse!
by Aja Dorsey Jackson
A couple of weeks ago at church a visiting pastor asked the married members of the congregation to stand to their feet. Off topic, but given the number of stories about Black marriage being virtually nonexistant, it was encouraging to see the number of married couples representing all ages. The pastor then asked for each person to give his or her spouse a kiss. His point was that kissing helps us to stay connected to one another and that it is hard to create too much distance from someone that you’re kissing all of the time. Many of our marital problems, he stated, begin when we just aren’t kissing enough. To me, his point made a lot of sense. Focusing on the major marriage issues like communication, sex and finances can take up so much time and energy that the seemingly small things, like kissing, can become secondary.
My husband and I kiss one another twice a day; when he leaves to go to work in the morning and when we get home. We’ve been doing it for so long that most of the time it just feels like habit, but the couple of times that we argued and I didn’t get my morning or evening kiss it upset me. Even though some days it may be just a one-second peck, I know that even if we don’t get to connect at any other time throughout the day, we have those two brief moments of affection. It isn’t a lot but when we’re dealing with work, small children and whatever else may come our way through the course of a day, maintaining that consistent connection means something. We try to do it now even when we’re angry with one another. That way we know that we won’t lose that connection because we stopped one day out of anger and never started up again.
A kiss is one of the easiest ways to show your affection for your spouse. I challenge you, BMWK readers, to make it a point to kiss your spouse at least once a day for the next 30 days. Even if you are angry or having problems with him or her, make an effort toward this simple gesture and see if it helps to bring you just a little bit closer. After all, so much of romance starts with a kiss, hopefully a few of those kisses will lead to more *wink*.
So what are you waiting for? Grab your spouse and pucker up!
Aja Dorsey Jackson is a freelance writer and public relations consultant in Baltimore, Maryland. Find out more about her at www.ajadorseyjackson.com or follow her on twitter @ajajackson.
Comments (28)
like you said "this breaks my heart" & I also feel disconnected from her. My only advice is to pray
that your husband receives "fruit of the Spirit", because its much more deeper than kissing. Pray until something happens & then kissing will be the norm & you will see a your husband with the "fruits of the spirit". To GOD be the Glory. I'm praying for the both of you>Psychstudent71.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23