Wedding Dress Codes (Should There Be One?)
by Tara Pringle Jefferson
I get giddy whenever we get an wedding invitation in the mail. To me, it means a guaranteed date night, good music, good cake, a celebration of love and a reminder why I love being married.
I also love that it forces me and my husband to pull out all the stops before we head out. We figure, these photos are going to be passed around the room for generations to come, so we have to look our very best, so the bride and groom don’t have to pretend they don’t know us when someone asks, “Who is that raggedy couple in the back?”
But over the past few years, I’ve noticed what is (to me, at least) a disturbing trend: people just not giving a crap what they wear to a wedding, treating it like a “Come as you are” event.
I’ve seen doo-rags, jeans, Timbs, those T-shirts you see at vigils (airbrushed with the deceased photo on it), flip-flops, belly rings, etc. At a WEDDING!
Even at our wedding, I noticed a few of the guests were dressed as if they were stopping in for a backyard BBQ, not to witness my husband and I pledge our lives to each other.
Now, I don’t expect you to go all out and buy a three-piece suit, but come on! I do expect a certain level of elegance for a wedding – no belly rings or jeans allowed!
Have you noticed this at recent weddings you’ve attended? How do you usually dress as a wedding guest?
Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer and blogger living in Ohio with her husband and two children. Visit her blog, www.theyoungmommylife.com, to read more of her observations about life, motherhood and love.
Add a comment
Comments (16)
Honestly, I think this started when people started wearing anything they wanted to the church and it trickled on down. If we think its cool to look like we just rolled otu of bed to go to church every sunday then everything else is fair game. Then we have the email trains of all the weddings where the bride and groom are in tshirts and Airforce One sneakers. Everything has been "dumbed down" across the board. There's a time and a place for EVERYTHING and I don't care what anyone says YOU ARE NOT TO COME TO A WEDDING IN JEANS AND SNEAKERS! PERIOD! ugh!
As for guests who only come to the reception, I have seen this quite often and found that if the person is not of that faith(I'm not saying Methodist/Baptist but Christian/Buddhist/Muslim/Jew, etc.) then they only attend the non-religious portion of the festivities.
To avoid this, if you are not married yet, you may want to put a dress code hint in the invitation. For example, "Sunday best or Semi-formal attire requested." That may not solve all the problems, but should at least put a damper on jeans/flip-flops.
Kids and many adults come to church looking like they just came from a party or the club. So I am not surprised that weddings are following this same trend.
Now weddings are totally different. It's very rude to show up casual to such a beautiful event. I think the idea of including the dress code in the invite is really good suggestion!
I also agree with that is is rude to show up to a wedding in casual dresss..unless it is specified in the invite.
I know me personally, I've went to 2 weddings and was asked if I was in the wedding because I was "so dressed up". That's how much of an impression I want to leave on them. Look like you're part of the wedding party!
You have a great solution to the problem but I have another solution. If you know people that would wear flip-flops, doo-rags, jeans, and other inappropriate clothes to a wedding, you may need to either get some new friends or not extend an invitation at all or better yet, invite them to another function (bbq) a month or so after the wedding. This is why I'm having a beautiful, small, intimate wedding with ONLY close family members and my dear friends who are all classy.