Loving My Girl And My Boy
by Tara Pringle Jefferson
Because my first pregnancy was way out of left field, I decided I wanted to know the sex of the baby and no one was going to get in my way.
“Do you want to know the sex?” the ultrasound tech asked me.
I laid on the table, shirt hiked up. “I think it’s a girl,” I said confidently.
The tech paused for a moment and waved the wand over my belly. “It’s a girl,” she said, surprised. “Looks like you know your baby girl already.”
I smiled. Of course I knew this baby – I was her mother. That mother-daughter bond? No one could ever break it. I had visions of a little Mini-Me twirling in my head, complete with matching outfits and mannerisms.
When she came out, she was her daddy’s twin in terms of looks, but she was my clone in every other respect. She was fussy and uptight, just like her mama (lol) and when she wasn’t happy, she let you know about it. Quickly.
I loved her so much I was a little (okay, very) upset when I found out I was pregnant with her younger sibling shortly after her first birthday. How is this going to change her life? She’s still a baby!
With our second baby I was hoping, hoping, praying for another little girl because I was used to having a little Mini-Me around and what could be better than one Mini-Me, but two?
As I lay there in the hospital and the doctor pulled the little one out, I hear him say over the baby’s cries, “It’s a boy!”
A boy? I thought to myself. There’s no way. I wanted two girls. What am I going to do with a boy? I know absolutely nothing about boys, other than they pee standing up.
As the weeks went on, I struggled to find that connection with my son. I was ashamed. I loved him more than I could express, but by the simple fact that he had a penis and I didn’t, it just made us seem so different. I had a hard time getting over that hump.
Now my baby boy is turning two and I’m loving every minute. He’s a boy. A real boy. A jump-on-the-couch-didn’t-I-ask-you-to-sit-down-aww-you’re-giving-me-more-kisses? little boy. He’s silly and he’s cute and he’s full of personality.
I recognize that I have a different relationship with my daughter than I do with my son. Even at this young age, my daughter wants to be me. She does the things I do, she wears my shoes, she treats her brother like he’s her son. My son just wants to be loved. He gives me kisses and hugs and squeezes my knees every time I come close.
It’s different, but I like it and I try my best to treat them equally. I feel lucky to have one of each, to experience life through my son’s eyes and empathize with my daughter’s female problems.
Do you have boys AND girls? Do you find yourself gravitating toward one or the other? For the parents with only one gender, do you ever think of how life would be with the opposite gender?
Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer and blogger living in Ohio with her husband and two children. Visit her blog, www.theyoungmommylife.com, to read more of her observations about life, motherhood and love.
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