Creating the Village: The First Thing You Need to Do

Parenting

by Tara Pringle Jefferson | on November 29th, 2010 | 4 comments

by Tara Pringle Jefferson

When most people talk about “the village” it takes to raise a child, you envision extended family, friends, neighbors and community members coming together to make sure a child is raised to respect himself and others, and leaves his parents’ house on the right path.

But today I want to take a different approach. Instead of looking for the village, how can you create the village within your family? Do you realize you’re not only raising “your kid,” right? You’re raising….

….A future husband/wife. Teach them how to love, how to forgive, how to communicate. Teach them the art of compromise, and let them know that love takes work. It won’t always be easy but it will always be worthwhile.

…A future employee/employer. Teach them the value of a strong work ethic, of doing your best every single day, and to take lumps and bumps in stride. Teach them how to respect all those around them – those up the career ladder and those below. Never be too proud to pitch in where necessary.

…A future parent. Teach them that parents sometimes make mistakes, but the best ones aren’t afraid to learn lessons along with their kids. Parents aren’t superhuman but they push the limits of human endurance to make sure their kids don’t go without.

This is why the village is so important. If we’re all raising the best kids we possibly can, future generations will reap the benefits.

Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer and blogger living in Ohio with her husband and two children. Visit her blog, www.theyoungmommylife.com, to read more of her observations about life, motherhood and love.

About the author

Tara Pringle Jefferson is managing editor of BlackAndMarriedWithKids.com. She’s also the author of Make It Happen: The Young Mommy Guide To Creating The Career You Crave. Follow her on Twitter or check out her blog for her insights on what it means to be a mom, wife, student, writer, and about three other labels she’s too tired to remember.

reefinyateef

Three great points! One thing that falls in all three is teching our kids about money – how to save, set up a budget, avoiding debt, etc. They sure as hell won’t learn it in school!
http://www.izania.com Roger Madison

Tara, this is excellent advice. You have provided an excellent perspective that we all must share with our children.

I would add, “Teach them that they are not in the world alone, and that they must carefully select those whom they love and trust to help them get through the good times and the bad times.”

Happy Holidays!
Edward Jordan65

Stellar advice Tara… I must say for me the MOST important issue you raise is idea of communicating our humanity to our children!! This is the main reason that we have “generation gaps” because we are afraid to tell our children about our struggles in an age-appropriate manner.. So we give our children the impression that we’ve always been adults and have ALWAYS had it all together. We don’t prepare them adequately enough to discern that change will be a constant in their lives. Being transparent with our children will allow them to keep communication open..
amber

i think everything mentioned above is a good point but i also think we need to teach our kids about relationships early on by showing them that marriage and relationships (good ones) do exist. i take my son(whos 7) out on “dates” so that he knows how to treat a woman and how a woman should act on a date and i encourage every man with a daughter to do the same…there are too many broken homes in the black community and this can be nipped in the bud as well…