Money Monday: Stop the Christmas Gift Giving Arms Race

Money

by Lamar Tyler | on November 29th, 2010 | 4 comments

by Dr. Charles Alonzo Peters

Black Friday officially kicked off the holiday gift shopping season. The mad rush to find the perfect gifts has begun. But this year we Americans perform the annual shopping ritual in more debt than ever before. The average household has nearly $15,800 in credit card debt. Yet if Black Friday is any indication, we’ll still be out in full force searching for the perfect gift for Uncle Joe, little nephew Maurice, and Nana Bessie.

Purchasing gifts for the kids and spouses is the easy part. When it comes to buying presents for friends and relatives, however, it can seem like we’re in a gift giving arms race. None of us likes receiving an expensive gift only to offer a lame sweater or bathroom soap set in return. So we stress ourselves out trying to find the perfect gift for a cousin, nephew, niece, or grandma hoping it will match the value of the gift we receive in exchange.

As financially strapped as many of us are, you have to wonder why we don’t opt out of the Christmas gift-giving race all together. Why do we feel obligated to purchase presents every year when we’re hanging on by a financial thread?

It may be the need to reciprocate. When we receive a gift from someone the natural response is to offer a gift in exchange. Maybe it’s because if we tell our relatives we’ll no longer be giving gifts they’ll look upon us as if we’re financial weaklings, so unable to manage our money that we can’t even purchase Christmas gifts.

But perhaps the relatives are feeling the same financial pressure to keep up the gift giving game. Could it be that they too are struggling and racking up charges on the credit cards in the gift giving merry go round.

Maybe this should be the first Christmas where we pay more attention to our bottom line than to presents for Uncle Barry or Sister-in-law Marry. Is this the year we call a gift giving cease fire?

Do we have to be complete scrooges about it? Absolutely not. There are ways to retain the Christmas spirit without going to the poor house. Agree to a small spending limit on all presents. Insist that relatives, or at least the adult relatives, draw names from a hat in a gift exchange. Everyone gets the thrill of receiving and giving a present without breaking the bank. Consider purchasing a less expensive “family gift” instead of individual gifts for your brother-in law, his wife and each of their children.

You just might find that everyone else breaths a sigh of relief with the gift giving burden lifted, and we all can recognize the true reason for the season – enjoying time with loved ones and the birth of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

BMWK. Do you feel the pressure of buying the perfect gift for all of your relatives? What are some of the ways you and your relatives reduce the gift giving pressure?

About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.

reefinyateef

We need to use the magic of automatic bank transfer. Set up an Xmas budget and set your account to throw X amounts of dollars in every time you get paid. Even $20 a month will give you $240 by year end. This also works great with planning for vacation, car expenses, etc.
Ed

I totally agree with Reefinyateef; we have to plan and start saving! Any amount, while it may seem small in the beginning, will add up to a greater benefit later on… Great post!
http://funkidivagirl.com Funkidivagirl

We do not give gifts to the adults in our family, just the kids. Most of us can buy whatever we want for ourselves and quite frankly have too much anyway.
http://www.musingsofamarriedmom.blogspot.com Kisha

I got off of that endless rollercoaster a few years back. My two kids get a couple of items and a stocking full of fun stuff. We’re beyond the Santa foolishness and it’s just not in the budget to go all out for one day. It’s analogous to couples who spend $20K on a wedding and go back home to their 1 bdr rented apartment. Like…huh?

I think that we need to change the definition of the holiday season and quit making it a rat race of materialism. There are MANY ways to give that don’t involve swiping plastic!